♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Sunday, December 31, 2006

29 of dec after work straight went down to batok fiind moii laogong they all. at fiirst wanna go east coast fiind jie ying they all dde. but too late lerrs plus go ther oso siianx.
soo stay at batok ton wiith moii laogong they all till todday morniing 11 plus dden go home.
todday was our two months. yet we had a quarrel todday. haiis. criied agaiin. thiird day iim cryiing lerrs.
haiis. but still feel quiite happii larrs.
as he was by my siide mahhs. not liike our fiirst month. spendiing moii whole day at home moodless.
haiis. but thiink tiis will bbe the fiirst n the last tiime we will bbe celebratiing together bba. as dunno hiis student pass will been approve tiis tiime round mahhs.
iif no. we will bbe far apart frm each other iin the future lerrs. haiis.
wat should ii do? wat should ii saiid?
moii heart was full of sadness. was we realii not meant to bbe together? haiis.
we had been thru sooo manii thiing lerrs. fiinally we are back together. but why we must bbe separate apart agaiin?
haiis. todday on the way back home. thiinkiing of the everythiing happened iin tiis 2 months and 27 days.
from 03 of oct till now. every moment wiith hiim was the perfect moment wiith hiim and was the happiler moment fer miie.
all the arguement, quarrel, joke and everythiing all was the sweeter memoriies fer miie. and iit's all realii meant alot to miie.
2oo6 iishx cumiing to the end lerrs. tml will bbe the last day of 2oo6.
lookiing back of the everythiing happened iin tiis years.
wat was riight, wat was wrong ii oso dunno lerrs. iim confused too.
perhaps ii commiited lots of miistake wiithiin tiis years!!
but ii know, ii deciided to waiit fer hiim, ii deciided to bbe wiith hiim was not a miistakes!!

14.o9.o4 to 16.o9.o6

he stepped iinto moii liife. leadiing our liife together more n more unhappii each day. moii feeliing fer hiim faded day by day. 2 yr lata ii stepped out of hiis liife. everyone told miie, ii shouldnt break wiith hiim. hhe iishx realii a gud guy and realii treat miie gud. perhaps ii was wrong, but ii had never regret. wat passed had alreadii passed. the one ii love iishx no longer hiim. wat ii can onlii saiid iishx, thanks fer the everythiing iin tiis two yrs. stopped holdiing on wiith sumone or sumthiing tat will never ever return. although ii was doiin the same iin the past. but euu know miie well dde. ii will nv turned back to a passed relationshiip. HE iishx the onlii one tat ii would waiit and hold on to. he will bbe the fiirst and the last one. fiind sumone beta bba.

together.ended.

o3.o9.o6 to 3o.1o.o6
2 months 27 days!!

ii met hiim, a guy tat brighten upp moii liife, touches moii heart. the fiirst guy tat iim williing to giive upp everythiing fer hiim, the fiirst guy i'll waiit fer hiim. the fiirst guy tat ii cant liive wiithout hiim. the fiirst guy ii nv wan to let hiim go. the fiirst guy ii had ever love sooo deeply.
although ii receiived lots of scoldiing, bad comment frm all moii siista and hurt frm hiim. the tiimes ii criied fer hiim iishx countless.
but ii have never regret. coz iit's all worth iin the end, iisnt iit??
moii love fer hiim iishx unliimiited. no words can ever descriipt moii love fer hiim.

together.break.patched.treasure! . . . . tO bbe continued!!

no matter how far euu are away frm miie,

moii heart will always bbe wiith euu.

no matter how long iit iishx,

i'll still waiit!

as long as ii know ur's heart wiith miie too.

never will ii giive tiis relatiionshiip up,

never will ii let euu go,

never will ii add a full stop to our story.

laogong.

ii love euu.

ii need euu.

euu will bbe the one & onlii guy tat i'll waiit.

euu will bbe the one & onlii guy ii wanna bbe wiith till the end of tiime.

please never leave miie agaiin.

the perfect moment,

the happiler moment fer miie,

iishx the every moment wiith euu.

memoriies wiith euu,

will always kept iinsiide moii heart,

and will follow miie to wherever ii go.

euu are the perfect guy ii had ever meet,

euu are beta dden all moii ex.

lastly,

ii would liike to say,

the onlii one,

ii wanna marry wiith was. . .

YOU.

ya, forget to saiid. laogong, ur skill realii beta dden hiim alot alot. hahax!!!

That's When I Y0u

1:42 AM

Friday, December 29, 2006

haiis. criied todday at lot 1 xsquare!!!
why???
coz tat thiing whiich ii mentioned iin moii previous post suddenly came back to moii miind,
a joke he told miie,
and a bad news!!
ytd niite, after ii slept he called miie upp. and we talk fer a while, he told miie, he got sumthiing to tell miie. whiich will make miie sad n cry, and he saiid he fall iin love wiith sumone else!
but ended upp he told miie iit's was jus a joke. ii criied fer a long periiod of tiimes after ii hang the fone wiith hiim. coz as ii diid mentiion before, iim sumone who super sensatiive, although he told miie iit's was jus a joke but ii will still thiink alot dde.
todday morniing, ii went to meet hiim at lot 1 wiith moii mood verii down and sad. lots of tiimes feel liike cryiing sooo much. but kept controlliing.
after tat, the bad news came. hiis student pass been rejected agaiin, whiich mean he cant stay here aniimore lerrs.
the feeling of cryiing get stronger lerrs. but still controlliing!!
wen we will at xsquare!
realii cant control lerrs, fiinally ii criied iinfront of hiim. iit was the fiirst tiime ii criied iinfront of hiim.
he wiipe moii tears away and told miie dubb cry lerrs.
sooo ii hold all moii tears back, although ii still felt liike cryiing sooo much.
haiis. ii realii dunno wat to saiid and wat to do now. moii miind was all blank!

That's When I Y0u

1:15 AM

Thursday, December 28, 2006

jus reach home. todday went to jb wiith moii laogong, moii 2 lovely sista. peiting and jieying. didnt reali had fun todday. coz ii was rather bad mood and down. ii recalled back tat matter. ii tot ii had alreadii forgotten, ii tot ii had alreadii move on and leave tat matter besiide lerrs. but onlii until todday dden ii realise tat iit iishx all not truth. haiis. coz he will get to know her. iishx after the day we first went to jb together. and tat tiime was oso wiith peitiing and jiieyiing. all sweet n unhappiness memoriies all suddenly flash iin moii miind one by one, agaiin n agaiin!!
iit was jus liike watch a slideshow. ther was alot of tiime tat ii almost criied out. but ii jus kept controlling and triied moii best to prevent moii self frm cryiing. coz ii realii dubb wanna cry before of hiim coz of tiis matter or mentiion tiis matter iinfront of aniione lerrs. especiially hiim. coz iit was a agreement between both of us. and ii wouldnt wan to spoil everyone mood and wouldnt wan hiim to feel sad and guilty and started to blame hiimself agaiin.
sooo ii triied moii verii best to enjoy, to smile, to bbe happii n stop thiinkiing of tat matter. but no matter how they joke, how they play around. iit was liike ii jus couldnt joiin iin the fun and liike realii not iinterested to bother abt wat they was sayiing and doiin. jus feel liike beiing alone. haiis.
the paiin iishx still ther wenever ii tot of tiis matter. moii heart will still paiin and will still bleed.

ii dunno wat iim doiin and thiinkiing. ii dunno how long tiis relatiionshiip could last. ii dunno will ii realii bbe hiis last gal. ii dunno how much ii meant to hiim. ii dunno how much he love miie. haiis. ii realii dubb dare to thiink and ask abt the ans fer all those questiion. haiis. but ii onlii know was ii love hiim lots. ii realii do. ii realii dubb dare to iimagiine moii future wiithout hiim iin moii liife. haiis. now ii thiink the onlii thiing ii could do was to enjoy and treasure the every moment wiith hiim bba.

no longer have everlastiing love. eterniity love iin moii dictionary lerrs. now, iin moii dictionary ther onlii love hurt and treasure!!

That's When I Y0u

2:09 AM

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

jus reach home. jus now went to tamah jurong find moii laogong. dden after tat jiieyiing came down to look fer us. iin the fiirst place, although ther onlii miie n moii laogong. but realii fun lorrs. enjoy the every moment wiith hiim. love hiim more n more deeply each day lorrs. he iishx jus the one tat ii had ever love sooo deeply. realii hope ther nothiing and nobody will ever separate us agaiin. realii enjoy moii liife now. wiith all moii siista. same, ii realii hope ther nothiing can ever let all us quarrel or separate too. sooo BACKSTABBER kiindly get lost. we dubb welcum euu!!!

everythiing iishx gone between euu n miie. ther nothiing more tat could cause bbe stay aniimore. thanks fer treatiing miie sooo gud iin the past but after sooo manii thiing ii thiink ii had alreadii repay euu back lerrs bba. now, let walk our own way bba coz ther no turniing back aniimore lerrs. all memoriies wiith euu had alreadii beiing ease. frm moii heart and moii miind. ther no way to mend back everythiing lerrs!!! lastly, ii could onlii say. euu realii disappoint miie and all the best to euu bba!!!

That's When I Y0u

3:21 AM

Monday, December 25, 2006

after work ii went to town to miit moii lovely siista, moii laogong, yuancii daddii and all other famiily member to celebrate moii chriistmas tiis yr. iindeed ii was quiite happii iin the fiirst place, realii enjoy alot alot lorrs. but iin the end, ii was soo angry and quiite sad lorrs. due to sumthiing whiich ii dubb realii wiish to mentiion. laogong ps miie go boat quey driink wiith jefrii and weii en. at fiirst ii was rather angry n sad larrs.. especiially wen ii saw those couple together soo lovely. but thiink iit back. ii oso goiin to miit moii siista and accompany them mahhs. ii shouldnt bbe sooo selfiish as to request hiim to ps hiis brother and accompany miie go fiind moii siista mahhs. sooo jus let hiim go wiith them lorrs. ii niid freedom. ii niid tiime to do moii thiing, accompany moii siista. and same go to hiim oso mahhs. iin a relationshiip, should giive each other freedom dde mahhs. sooo afterall ii not angry aniimore lerrs but ii still felt sad larrs. iishx was liike a lonely chriistmas but at lease ii still got all moii lovely siista, xiiangxiing n yong fa erzii, siimon n en jie diidii n mernel xi fu. hahax.

msg to all moii siista - fer those all thiink tat ii coz of moii bf ii ps euu all. rather choose to bbe wiith moii bf dden wiith siista. here, ii would liike to tell euu all. iin the fiirst place ii nv thiink of not goiin back to fiind euu all at all. jus hope ther sum tiimes ii would liike to accompany moii laogong and all other of the famiily member. and hope euu all understand now tat ii was workiing everyday. ii realii had verii less tiime to accompany moii laogong lerrs plus iit was chriistmas todday. fer those who cannot bbe understandiing. iim sorrii to tell euu. ii dubb miind how euu thiink. wan say wat dden say lorrs. dubb wanna regard miie as siista dden go ahead. coz to miie true siista. will bbe understandiing and wun treat miie iin tiis way dde. coz ii diidnt diid aniithiing wrong afterall lorrs. ii nv jus leave or nv went back to fiind euu all.

That's When I Y0u

2:41 AM

Friday, December 22, 2006

heex. today laogong finally cum back lerrs. realii verii happii lorrs. wiith hiim around everythiing iishx realii verii diifferent lorrs. everyone mood seem to bbe gud and everythiing seem to bbe verii wonderful. hahax!

ytd ii was soo paiiseh lorrs. criied on the bus coz laogong saiid tat he not cumiing back lerrs. jan dden cum back. tat moment realii felt sooo diisappoiinted and realii cannot take iit lorrs. tryiing to controll moii self frm cryiing but end upp moii tears still stroll down.

dden went to miit sophiia, ziling and jieying at lavender street ther. they haviing job iinterviiew ther. dden ii told sophiia "tml all plan cancell, ur's precious wun bbe back tml dde!"

after tiis ii almost criied out agaiin. but ii kept triied not to thiink abt iit and stop moii tear frm droppiing down. dden sophiia know ii wanna cry lerrs dden she saiid "why euu liike goiin to cry? dubb cry larrs. ii let euu see msg".

guess who the one who send the msg and wat iit all abt?

ya. iishx hiim. moii laogong.

he send to sophiia saiid "dasao. euu tml got cum fetch miie mahhs? ii 2 will reach. but dubb tell moii laopo. coz ii bluff her say ii jan dden cum back"

sumthiing liike tat larrs. cant remember verii clearly lerrs!!

sophiia mummii and hiim team upp tryiing to bluff miie and giive miie supriise once agaiin. but lucky tiis tiime moii tears help miie. haha. sOo moii plan still continue.

todday ii overslept. ii set alarm at 9 am. but ii slept till 11 am. dden faster wake upp go prepare and went to plaza to buy the present fer moii laogong dde. but all are late lorrs. jiieyiing iishx the lastest. dden ii faster went to mini toons to buy all the thiing and at fiirst wanna go take bus dde. but coz moii laogong suddenly call sophiia saiid he reachiing soon dden bobiian we haf to take cab and rush down. but we waiited fer verii long. no cab at all lorrs. ii was verii worriied at tat moment lorrs. scare tat we cant make iit to reach habour front before he reach and everythiing we planned wiill bbe spoilted lorrs. but lucky we manage to reach ther iin tiime and even earlier!! hahax. but end upp the thiing ii planned ther sumthiing not done! but still quiite happii.

guess wat the fiirst thiing we do after the supriise? hahax. we argued!! hahax.realii miiz the tiime wen we argued lorrs. miiz the everythiing wiith hiim. sooo fun. hahax.

dden after tat miie peii hiim go home put hiis stuff dden went down to lot 1. today frm the tiime we met each other till the tiime ii go home. most of tiime we will arguiing. hahax. dden after tat went to miichelle papa house slack. miiz the hug hug and kiiss kiiss lorrs. one month nv hug hug n kiiss kiiss lerrs siia. hahax. dotx dotx dotx. diiao!!!

laogong. do euu know how much ii miiz euu iin tiis whole month?? realii miisses euu alot lorrs. iimagiine wen euu jus went back sooo manii thiing happened. and iim soo stressed and unhappii!! ii had to face sooo manii problem all moii self. tat periiod of tiime realii hope euu wiill bbe bby moii siide sooo much lorrs.

wen euu told miie euu not cumiing back lerrs. onlii will bbe back on jan. iit's realii make miie super diisappoiinted. coz the thiing ii planned. the off ii take iishx all liike a waste! but mostly iishx becoz, fiinally euu are back and no matter how unhappii or stress ii am iin the future. ther still euu bby moii siide. ii no longer alone faciing all the problem agaiin lerrs. ther always euu to giive miie support and let miie hang on no matter wat happen. but suddenly euu saiid euu not cumiing back. all moii hope gonez. moii plan gonex. liike everythiing gonex. so so so diisappoiinted and sad lorrs.
wen the moment ii saw euu. ii realii dunno wat to say. ther alot of thiing ii wanna tell euu. but suddenly moii miind all gonex blank. realii feel liike cryiing at tat moment lorrs.

after euu are back lerrs. ii treat tiis as everythiing start all over agaiin frm todday on. remember our's agreement. wun even mentiion the unhappiness matter tat happened iin the past. jus look for now and the future. ii no longer thiink abt anii unhappiiness matter iin the past lerrs soo same to euu oso. ii hope euu can forget abt all the unhappiiness thiing iin the past. let our relationship start a new bba. ii will love euu till the end of tiime. ii will never let euu go agaiin unless euu wanna leave. sincerly hope tat our relatiionshiip could last till the end. laogong. wo aii nii.

here the foto ii took todday.

miie at cab on the way to harbour front

miie at cab to fetch moii laogong back frm iindonesia.

moii piig facex~ tiing. dubb askk miie fer copyriight fee k?

moii mirror reflectiion agaiin

the biig biig christmas tree outsiide viivo ciity~

miie n baobeii at lot 1~

miie & laogong at lot 1~

miie & yiing at lot 1 x square~

laogong at the ferry! he cut short hiis haiir lerrs wors! look more cute nehhs!!!

Labels: iim not alone aniimore ` ii niid ur's support. let our relationshiip start anew bba `

That's When I Y0u

1:22 AM

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

here to post agaiin. todday was raiiniing fer the whole day. nv went to work. ii was soo bored at home. stupiid laogong. make miie cry by bluffiing miie tat hiis student pass tiio rejected agaiin. dden end up say bluff miie dde. iidiiot hiim. haha. tiis thursday maybb he cumiing back lerrs. yeah.. ii was soo happii lorrs. he went back one month lerrs. we had bbeen separated apart fer one month lerrs. we realii miisses each other damn lots lorrs. hahax. wanderiing wat supriise should ii giive hiim tiis tiime wen he iishx back. still thiinkiing verii hard. hahax.

laogong, ii miiz euu. ii love euu. fiinally euu cumiing back lerrs. ii wan hug hug and kiss kiss!! hehex. muackks!!! forever iin love wiith euu deeply!! 1 mth 19 days!!!

That's When I Y0u

7:33 PM

Sunday, December 17, 2006

yOz. iim back to post! hehex. busy workiing recently so cannot liike the past everyday update lerrs. moii liife everyday now was jus work,play,eat,slp!! seem quiite boriing?? hahax. not realii larrs. ii realii enjoy tiis kiind of siimple liifestyle. ii pass moii everyday onlii wiith happiness and laughter. ain't tiis the best liifestyle tat everyone huntiing fer?? hahax!

christmas iishx reachiing. and ii fulfilled a promiise ii made to moii self. ii finally can realii forget abt tat matter and fiind back the trust ii used to have fer euu and hopefully ii made iit before euu come back. now iim waiitiing fer ur return wiith a heart full of happiiness, wiith moii miind onlii the happiler memoriies wiith you! frm now on. nv want to look back agaiin. ii jus wan to move on wiith euu. to miie. now n the future matter the most. let bygones bbe bygones.
but hope euu will nv let miie down n diisappointed one more tiimes. nv hurt miie agaiin. nv make miie cry agaiin. hope iishx was liike wat euu had told miie. ur heart onlii got miie!! pls keep all ur promiises euu had ever made to miie!! ii love euu! forever love euu! love euu till the end of tiimes!!!

` jAc & eDdy `
` 30.nOv.o6 `
` 1 mth 17 dAys `
` fOrEvEr iin lOvE wIth eUu dEepLy `

Labels: ` fOrEvEr iin lOvE wiith eUu dEepLy `

That's When I Y0u

12:31 PM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

sorrii fer not updatiing moii blog fer so manii days. recently busy workiing. no tiime fer blog larrs! haha. jus came back frm batok! recently ii had passed moii everyday verii happily. after work went to meet yuancii daddii they all. love moii laogong famiily more n more lerrs. the tiimes wiith them everyday miight bbe short but ii realii enjoyed n realii have fun lorrs!

missJAC love all of euu!!

yuan cii daddii.
xiiang xiin er zii.
yong fa er zii.
simon dii dii.
er jiie dii dii.
yii liiang.
delton.
jef. (although he still dubb wanna talk to miie)

siimply love euu guys. love the famiily!!! euu all are always the best!!

k larrs. short post ffer today!! niite!!

That's When I Y0u

3:23 PM

Sunday, December 10, 2006

wOw, 4 days nv update moii blog lerrs wors!! hahax. sO sOrrii wOrs.
cOz past 4 days iim siick!! missJAC siick lerrs.
sObx sObx!!
sO xiinku lorrs. finally tOday recover lerrs, sO faster came and update moii blog lorrs,as to let everyone know tat missJAC iishx not dead yet.
hahax.
dunno wat tO wriite oso larrs.
cOz tiis few day nothiing happen lorrs. ii everyday jus slp, eat, eat moii medicine dden slp agaiin.
LOLs.

SAD. HEARTACHES!
cOz mOii PRECIOUS fone w810i oso siick lerrs.
sO sad.
miiz all e song,foto,msg & everything iinsiide lOrrs.
tml briingiing iit tO repaiir.
hOpe can repaiir and get back by tml bba.
but iif cannOt ii will persuade daddii change w850i fer miie.
hope he can grant mOii wiish.
hahax.
tml niid gO fer the stupiid cOunselling agaiin. siianx larrs. niid tO liisten tO thOse rubbiish agaiin.
hahax.

GOOD NEW fer miie tOdday.
laOgOng say,
he will bbe back wiithiin tiis mOnth and will before 30th of dec. whiich mean our 2nd mOnth anniiversary ii wun alone lerrs.
HAPPY!!!
this few day, although iim sufferiing frm moii siickness and iishx realii XIN KU
but. . .
at lease iim more happiiler after recovered.
cOz tiis few day nothiing botheriing miie at all.
ii nv thiink sOo much oso lerrs.
dunno y,
after iim recovered.
jus felt like moii liife iishx all brand new.
everythiing liike start all over agaiin.
seem liike all the sadness had been lefted besiide n iim moviing on wiithout those sadness but wiith all those happiiness.
a gud siign??
YA.Of cOz!!

trust fer moii laogong cum back lerrs.
no longer recalled back abt tat matter lerrs!
miie n all moii siista dde arguement solved.
sistershiip back to the same.
miie n yuancii daddii dde relatiionshiip becum beta lerrs.
relationshiip wiith famiily member get closer back lerrs.
onlii left miie n jef bba.
although he still didnt talk to miie but at lease wen he see miie he wun walk off.
consiider beta oso bba!!
everythiing iishx gettiing beta lerrs. iim so HAPPY.
iit shown tat moii afford iishx not a waste.
AND. . .
ii diidnt made the wrong deciisiion fer not giiviing upp on all those relatiionshiip wiith the everyone of them!!
frm now on,
liiviing moii liife to the FULLEST everyday!!
FORGET every sadness iin the past.
wun LOOK back.
jus look fer NOW n the FUTURE.
bbe a HAPPY missJAC

Labels: ` moii liife iishx now all brand new ` wun look back ` wat matter to miie most now iishx now n the future `

That's When I Y0u

11:51 PM

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

tOdday wake upp at around 11 plus. coz daddii say todday wanna briing go moii work place but endd upp. . .he bomb miie agaiin. beiin bomb fer 5 day lerrs!! waiit till around 5 pus dden go prepare. after tat went to miit yvonne and went to her chalet tog!!
wen ii was ther, iishx realii verii happii and busy coz hors.. help tat yvonne serve her guest!! dden she ownself at ther take present. aRrGhS! haha. but nvm larrs. biirthday gal mahhs. plus we will her's siista oso iindiirectly consiider owner bba. so iit our job to serve the guest oso larrs!!
went bac around 9 plus wiith qiiquan, sophiia n mazel. realii quiite happii larrs. coz mazel was ther to entertaiin everyone of us.
but he let miie recalled of moii laogong. coz he kept lii siiao and entertaiin miie whiich iishx moii laogong oso doiin the same thiing wen he iishx around.
wen everyone iishx quiiet lerrs. all joke and entertaiinment stopped lerrs.
ii liisteniing to song n suddenly thiink back of the past. siince the day ii get to know moii laogong till now. the everythiing tat ever happen before. felt realii sad.
wen ii now the way walkiing home frm plaza. ii liisteniing to song agaiin n ii criied. dunno y. jus feel sad bba!! haiis.
suan lerrs. dubb say lerrs larrs. criied out feel more beta lerrs larrs!!!

msg fer sophiia mummii,
erm. euu too sensatiive lerrs larrs. thiink too much lorrs. we realii got nth hiide frm euu larrs. so dubb thiink soo much lerrs k??

gonna go slp lerrs. tiired. tml realii niid to work lerrs!!

Labels: ` the sorrows n paiin iin still craved verii deeply iinsiide moii hard. cant jus bbe ease soo easily. tryiing moii best to forget n make iit diisappeared `

That's When I Y0u

1:42 AM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

tOdday wake upp at 1, go prepare coz niid to go batok poly clinic fer counselling! before ii went out of moii house, suddenly siimon miss call miie. ii was sOo shocked. called hiim back, dden he askk miie help hiim buy chriistmas card. dden ii saiid ok lorrs, aniiway ii goiin to batok oso mahhs. dden miit them at mac after moii counselliing. jef was oso ther wiith hiis stead.
haiis. sad lorrs. ii was ther frm around 4 plus 5 plus till 11 plus. but yet jef diidnt even talk to miie. not even a siingle word. ii was thiinkiing of goiin dde. but coz too long nv c daddii lerrs, tat y stay ther waiit fer daddii lorrs. haiis. sad lorrs!! dunno jef wanna angry till wen siia?? but at else, ii was glad tat wen he saw miie, he nv walk away or jus go off. and wen ii siittiing the same table wiith hiim he oso nv walk off. let nature take iit course bba. still tryiing moii best to mend back everythiing, slowly step by step bba.
todday get to know jef stead - fiona. she iishx realii a verii friiendly and niice gal lorrs!! heex!!
gonna go slp lerrs. soo tiired. tml still niid wake upp early fer work!! haiis.

That's When I Y0u

2:17 AM

Monday, December 04, 2006

bored!! iim bored!! dunno why cant realii slp well. 5 plus slp. dden suddenly wake upp soo early! coz too much thiing botheriing miie?? maybb bba. once ii woke upp, moii mood was kiinda down larrs. nth to do lorrs. jus called yiing upp, dunno why half way thru. she suddenly mention jef, feeliing more sad lorrs. now she ps miie, say call miie lata yet off fone. fuck her dde. haiis. every problem iim faciing now kept botheriing miie tiis few day. rather moodless recently. every memoriies wiith jef, yuan cii daddii, all moii siista and moii laogong kept flashiing on moii miind agaiin n agaiin.haiis.
iin tiis short periiod of tiime, ii lost alot of thiing.
1st - the trust between miie n eddy dde relatiionshiip. trust gonez!
2nd - the frenzshiip wiith jef. frenzship gonez!
3rd - sistershiip wiith sum of moii siister. seem liike goiin to gonez soon!
4rd - daddii n nuer relatiionshiip wiith yuancii turn cold, seldom contact. seem liike goiin to gonez soon!
5rd - ii gaiin more freedom but relatiionshiip wiith moii famiily member turn bad. gonez!

they're the most iimportant ppl iin moii liife now, yet moii relationshiip wiith them seem liike goiin to end soon. ii dunno iin the future, but at tiis moment. ii knew tat they still meant alot to miie. and still stand a verii iimportant place iin moii heart. the tiimes beiing wiith them iishx the most happiier moment iin moii liife! how much ii wiish tat tiime could turn back and stopped at tat moment. realii felt verii stress due to all tiis problem. want to runaway soo much but ii cant. ii rather dunno soo manii thiing. coz the truth realii hurt miie deeply. haiis. wat can ii do to mend back everythiing?? almost everyday ii criied. ii afraiid of cryiing now. realii afraiid. haiis. wat should ii do?? the onlii way out iishx iit lettiing everythiing go?? maybb?? but no matter how hard ii triied ii will try to fiind another way out. ii cant and ii dubb bear to let go of the everythiing jus liike tat. ii will kept tryiing untiil the day ii realii cant hang on aniimore, until the day ii break down totally!!!
still tryiing moii best to hang on, not to let moii self break down coz ii dubb wan to giive upp the everythiing wiith everyone of them. haiis. lata tiing they all jiio go jb. maybb goiin maybb not. iif realii go, ii hope ii could forget those unhappiiness thiing jus fer tat few hours and enjoy myself ther bba.
post agaiin toniite!!!

Labels: ` ii will nv giive upp till the day ii cant hang on and was break down totally`

That's When I Y0u

1:30 AM

Sunday, December 03, 2006

haiis. todday qiiquan daddii & sophiia mummii break off lerrs. partly moii fault. ii felt so guilty now coz liike iim done sumthiing realii verii wrong lorrs. haiis. regret oso no use lerrs larrs. but now miie n qiiquan daddii ok lerrs. even they break lerrs, he will still bbe moii daddii dde!!
todday ii diiscovered alot of thiing oso siia, all bad thiing siia. recently watever thiing happen n thiing ii diiscovered iishx oso bad dde. haiis. suan lerrs larrs!! miie wouldnt wan to care lerrs larrs.
ii realii miiss jef n yuancii, last tiime they will always bbe the one tat will bbe ther fer miie to giive miie adviise dde. yuancii daddii was too busy wiith hiim liife now. confirm no tiime fer miie!! and fer jef. he iishx pushiing miie away, no longer wan miie as hiis frenz. siimply jus hate miie alot bba. now he seem liike sooo far to miie, far till ii cant reach. haiis. ii realii miiss all the tiime iin the past larrs. wen can everythiing stop??
recently, friendshiip haviing problem, sister ship haviing problem even relationship wiith moii laogong haviing problem oso!! haiis.
haiis. tat all fer todday bba. thiink nothiing to wriite larrs. moodless. YUCKS.PUI.SUX!!!

That's When I Y0u

5:55 AM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

bad day fer miie agaiin. diiscovered sumthiing tat realii hurt miie lots. agaiin, euu diid the same thiing and even more worst dden the fiirst tiime. moii heart realii shattered iinto pieces lorrs. iit's realii verii hurt n paiin. cryiing n cryiing. the tears jus siimply cant stop. moii heart was jus bleediing non-stop.
ii giive euu trust agaiin n agaiin. euu betray iit agaiin n agaiin. now dden ii know, siince euu're back at siingapore till the day before euu went back to iindonesia. ur heart have the both of us at the same tiime or maybb onlii got her bba. ii dunno wat to say. speechless.
thiink of endiing tiis relatiionshiip. but ii cant n dubb bear to let go. agaiin, ii forgiiven hiim!
ya. stupiid deciisiion agaiin. iim realii angry wiith myself lorrs. why am ii soo stupiid? why still hold on wen he treat miie iin tiis way? why cant ii jus let go? why cant ii jus leave? why am ii such a lousy gf tat cause hiim fell fer other agaiin n agaiin? why cant ii gave hiim wat he niid? why cant ii jus bbe the onlii one he love? why ii cant make hiim treat miie as how he treat the previious her? why he can bbe so faithful to the previious her but as fer miie, he cant?? why? why?
the memoriies siince ii jus met hiim till now, the everythiing jus kept flashiing agaiin n agaiin on moii miind. suddenly, every promiises he had gave miie all became empty promiises! watever he told miie suddenly all became liies. he told miie tat ther nothiing between the both of them but end upp wat happen?? all was jus liike a dream, wen ii woke upp everythiing gone.
tryiing to forget everythiing n fiind back the trust ii used to have fer euu. last chance ii will bbe giiviing. i'll let go of everythiing between miie n him iif ther one more tiime. next tiime, ther will bbe no turniing back aniimore.haiis.
haiis. quarrel wiith almost all moii sista. except fer sophiia. sorrii all moii dear siista, fer the attiitude ii shown jus now. and sorrii to disappoint euu guys agaiin as ii deciided to giive hiim one more chance. iinfact, ii realii dunno am ii riight to do so. but no matter wat happen iin the future between miie n hiim, ii wun say a siingle words to bother euu guys lerrs.i'll settle iit myself.but ther sumthiing ii niid to repeat, no matter am ii still hiis stead but as long as ii still love hiim, ii will try moii verii best to protect hiim, wun let aniione of euu briing anii harms to hiim dde. iif euu all iinsiisted to, iim sorrii to say tat, harms miie before euu harms hiim!! realii wouldnt hope to quarrel wiith euu guys over tiis kiinda matter lorrs. haiis. iim sorrii. iim sorrii. to all moii dear sister.
pls everyone around miie. stop botheriing miie wiith anii other problem lerrs. wouldnt wanna care abt anii other problem lerrs. iim eluff of iit lerrs. ii cant hang on aniimore. breakiing down!!
iit's too cruel to miie, ytd was our one mth and todday ii knew all tiis. ii dubb wanna believe iit. ii dubb wanna face the fact. now wat ii wan was to run away frm all those fact. let miie go!!
wen the tiime ii niid moii siister most, ii quarrel wiith them. wen ii hope to bbe liike the past telliing jef everythiing but he's no longer treatiing miie as hiis frenz. wen ii hope to tell yuancii daddii, but ii thiink he doesnt have the tiime fer miie bba.
wen the tiime ii realii wanna fiind sumone to talk to, those ppl ii realii niid doesnt bby moii siide at all, not even a siingle one. guess no one will know how ii felt and how much ii love hiim bba. no one realii understand miie lorrs. haiis. iim back to the darkness once agaiin,will bbe keepiing moii self iin the darkness fer the tiime beiing!
lastly. thankk qiiquan daddii fer stayiing by moii siide to console miie and giive miie adviises. thanks fer lendiing miie ur's liisteniing ears. and peii miie chat frm 2 plus till 5 plus and dden send miie back home. sorrii fer botheriing euu sooo long as euu still niid to work tml morniing. onlii left a few hours fer euu to slp. sorrii nehhs!! a miilliion thanks to euu!!

Labels: ` iim jus a fallen angel ` fell from the heaven to the the hell ` back to the darkness once agaiin `

That's When I Y0u

6:24 AM

Friday, December 01, 2006

30th of nov lerrs. miie n eddy one month lerrs. spendiing moii whole day at home, diidnt went out at all. haiis. but at tiis moment, moii mood was kiinda down & iim not happii at all.
haiis, sophiia suddenly askk miie. wat ii will do iif one day ii realiise tat eddy realii betray miie? ii saiid dunno, at tat moment ii realii dunno how to ans lorrs. iim sum one who iishx verii sensative dde, maybb she jus askiing onlii. but tat will cause miie thiink alot dde lorrs. the more ii thiink the more ii pek chye lorrs. arrghs!! yuckks larrs. hate tiis kiind of feeliing larrs.
haiis. the thiing ii heard ytd, sumhow realii make miie sad. iin the fiirst place, iif he nv turned back, maybb now he will be more happiier wiith her bba. and wun stand iin a diiffiicult position oso. haiis.
haiis. glad tat both of euu got contact back lerrs. hope euu all wun quarrel or wat iin the future bba.

` feeliing damn bad at tiis moment, realii jus feel liike cryiing soo much, recently ii diiscovered alot of thiing and too manii thiing happen lerrs. everyday ii oso felt liike cryiing but ii jus siimply cant shed a siingle tear. siimply jus leave miie alone larrs, dubb bother miie wiith all tiis problem agaiin lerrs. ii had enough of iit lerrs. ya. ii admiit iim tryiing to run away. kiindly jus let miie go!! iif not ii realii gonna break down soon lerrs. `

Labels: encountiing lots of problem all by moii self wiithout anii support and comment~ how can ii still hang on iin tiis case?? aniione can teach miie?

That's When I Y0u

2:46 AM