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Friday, January 19, 2007

todday morniing wake upp hang over siia. ytd driink too much lerrs. dden went back to slp. almost overslept to go fetch moii laogong arx. but wen the tiimes ii goiin out, he had alreadii reach harbour front lerrs. hahax. miie still consiider late larrs. hahax. todday all along moii gastriic feeliing verii unwell siia. driink too much ytd niite. hahax. dden around eveniing tiime, jef, xiiang xiing erzii, mernel nuer and yongfa erzii all cum down fiind us. dden at harbour front slack dden all went home lerrs. miie accompany moii laogong go home. accompany hiim till 11 plus dden take bus home.
dunno why, todday had a strange feeliing, he iishx different frm the tiimes before he went back.
ii oso dunno wat iishx diifferent, jus feel tat iishx not the same as the past lorrs. maybb ii thiink too much bba.
ther sumthiing kept botheriing miie & ii realii dunno how to make a deciisiion. ii was leaviing to hong kong fer moii work traiiniing fer around 2 to 3 mths tiimes.
ii dunno weather by tat tiimes, hiis student pass approved lerrs mahhs but ii feel liike letting go. coz ii got no riight to askk hiim to waiit lorrs. ii cant giive hiim anii promiises now.
iif he iishx studyiing iin siingapore at tat periiod of tiimes and iif he met another giirl beta dden miie, treat hiim beta dden miie dde. and iif he realii fall iin love wiith tat giirl and go for iit. end upp, all moii frenz n siista will all sure blame hiim n angry wiith hiim dde. ii dubb wan lorrs.
iim not sayiing tat he will make the hiistory repeat. or ii diidnt trust hiim, but iif he realii found sumone beta dden miie n treat hiim beta ii will sure let moii hand go dde. wat ii wan to c iishx seeiing hiim happii.
ii totally had no riight to expect hiim waiit fer miie and ii realii cant giive hiim anii promiise now lorrs. after ii heard wat moii dad saiid ytd day niite, wat more can ii promiise hiim now? ii cant c our future now, iit seem liike gettiing more futher frm us lorrs. haiis. ii diidnt wan to make a empty promiises. as to bbe faiir fer hiim bba. and iif wen ii cum back lerrs, hiis heart still wiith miie dden continue our's story bba.
but at tiime, ii realii dubb bear to let moii hand go now. feeliing sad. ii still love hiim lots lorrs. haiis. iim confused.
am ii verii selfiish iif ii hold on to hiim n expect hiim to waiit?
am ii verii selfiish fer thiinkiing all tiis wiithout askiing hiis comments?
wat should ii do?
let go or hold on?
haiis. ii cant iimagiine how paiin moii heart will bbe iif one day ii realii saiid break wiith hiim? ii was cryiing whiile iim typiing wen ii haven even make a deciision. ii cant iimagiine how much tears ii will bbe droppiing iif ii realii do soo. haiis. wat goiin on wiith miie?
why we always had to bbe separated? how manii thiing we have to go thru before we realii get tog, never separate agaiin? haiis.

mrsEDDY wiith tears&confusiion
` 2.49am `
That's When I Y0u
2:15 AM