♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Thursday, March 29, 2007

ytd went to boat quey es to celebrate tiing tiing biirthday. quiite happii larrs. but diid sumthiing tat make miie regret whiich iishx telliing moii stupiid darliing tat iif he cum down he wan wat dden wat lorrs. end upp he realii cum down lorrs. still wan miie say "can he bbe moii bf" iinfront of jiieyiing lorrs. sooo dulan larrs. regret regret regret. hahax
ii criied wen we goiin back home. coz walk pass the place wher miie n hiim had a happii memoriies ther. thiinkiing back of the past n blurst iinto tears.
ii tot ii dubb love hiim lerrs. but why still cry fer hiim? still dunno siia.
but. .tiis will bbe the last tiime ii criied fer hiim lerrs. after the cry tiis tiime. thiink iishx tiime fer miie to put hiim down completely. get hiim out of moii miind. and thiink iishx tiime fer miie to start a new relatiionshiip lerrs.
back to work lerrs. stop here wors.

That's When I Y0u

5:47 PM

Monday, March 26, 2007

went to boat quey agaiin wiith moii dearest baobeii jiieyiing, ah kiiat kor kor and moii cute darliing. hahax. went to es to fiinish the balance lorrs. was quiite siianx ytd. as nobody dde.
he msg miie sayiing wat last tiime ii got a dream now finally cum true lerrs. still say wat last tiime he say wun but now realii cum true lerrs. dunno wat tat lorrs. ii realii got no iidea. he still say dunno why he msg wiith miie n other gal dde frenz dde feeliing not the same. maybb he still treat miie as stead bba. he saiid iishx not love or still have feeliing wiith miie bba. thiink iishx the feeliing he diid sumthiing wrong, nv cheriish miie. haiis. dunno wat to say oso.
why onlii wen ii let go lerrs dden he saiid such kiind of thiing. haiis.
but thiink now all iishx too late lerrs. coz ii know moii feeliing fer hiim gettiing lesser n lesser lerrs.
but seem liike the feeliing fer tat "sumone" iishx gettiing more n more lehhs. haiiya. ii oso dunno. cant make moii feeliing clear.
stop here bba. goiin back to work lerrs.

That's When I Y0u

5:53 PM

Sunday, March 25, 2007

been at boat quey fer the past 2 day. haiis. iim realii verii confused lorrs. dunno wat should ii do. tot he had alreadii forget miie, no longer loviing miie lerrs. tot iin hiis heart already dubb haf miie lerrs. but why still wanna know moii heart still got hiim mahhs? still calliing miie laopo? haiis. he say iif he forget a person he wun contact wiith her lerrs. but why iin the fiirst place he wanna flirt around wiith tat suzana n eileen? he saiid wanna forget unhappiiness thiing but end upp oso dubb wan? wat unhappiiness thiing he wanna forget? why end upp dubb wan?
why he saiid tat the riing iishx iimp to hiim, he dubb wanna lost iit?
haiis. why onlii wen iim startiing to recovered frm tiis relatiionshiip n start a new liife wiithout hiim n he came back wiith all thiis to mess upp moii liife n moii heart. haiis.
super confused wiith moii feeliing now. haiis.
ytd jus had a quarrel wiith moii darliing at es. haiis. super angry lorrs, quarrel wiith hiim, quarrel wiith darliing. super bad mood. but dunno why ii will criied coz quarreliing wiith darliing. haiis.
now ii realii dunno wat ii wan. realii confused larrs. dunno who ii wan. dunno wat to do lorrs. giive miie sum more tiimes to consiider bba. but ii know all moii siista wan miie to choose moii darliing dden patchiing wiith hiim. hahax. darliing got more supporter wors. got moii 7 siista support. hahax.
stop here bba. gonna go back to work.

That's When I Y0u

5:47 PM

Thursday, March 22, 2007

here to update blog agaiin. hahax. ytd niite went to boat quey wiith darliing n kiiat kor kor. dden fiirst went upp to piink lounge to look fer moii nelson kor kor they all fiirst dden after went to cloud niine.
wow. piink lounge iishx damn niice lorrs. iishx all piink dde lehhs. hahax. ii love iit soo much lorrs. how ii wiish tat moii room will bbe liike ther lorrs. hahax. at ther liike our house lorrs. all automatiic dde. hahax.
ytd niite cloud niine iishx damn boriing lorrs. no ppl dde. hahax.
reach home around 5 plus. cant slp siia. bored lorrs.
recently everyday msg wiith hiim oso msg till almost quarrel lorrs. haiis. dunno why lorrs. break liiao still quarrel wat siia? haiis.
dunno wat to wriite lerrs larrs. jus gettiing super boriing now. tat y cum n update moii blog lorrs. bleahx.

That's When I Y0u

7:17 PM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

today, should say iishx a bad day fer miie bba. everythiing seem sooo bad. moii mood was siimply sooo bad. ii was jus soo fed upp. ii dunno why. quarrel wiith darliing today, erm. cannot say quarrel bba. should saiid iim angry wiith hiim bba. but actually he diid nothiing wrong, iim the one who diid thiing wrong bba. sorrii ar dar. actually, diidnt angry euu at all larrs. jus dubb feel liike talkiing to aniione.
today jef n siimon iishx soo gud, came all the way down frm batok to look fer miie at moii work place. touch siia.
today, they briing back both of us dde memoriies to miie. kept talkiing abt hiim. feeliing soo sux. haiis. but wat euu all wan miie to do now? everythiing had alreadii ended, the hurts iishx alreadii ther. ii realii cant forget. ii realii verii tiired iin tiis relatiionshiip lerrs, ii realii verii xiinku. siince the day he go back tiis tiime, almost everyday ii went down to boat quey, everyday ii driink. jus to numb moii self, jus to stop moii self frm thiinkiing. fiinally, iim sliightly recovered lerrs but ii still not yet prepare fer a new relatiionshiip or back to tiis relatiionshiip.
ii leave hiim n nv wanted to patch back not becoz of ii fall fer moii darliing or aniione else. iishx tat moii heart realii break throughly tiis tiime lerrs.
iimagiine how hurt, how paiin iit iishx wen the one euu love soo much, quarrel wiith euu over maple, angry wiith euu coz of maple. treat euu sumtiimes cold, sumtiimes warm, betray euu agaiin n agaiin wen euu forgiive hiim agaiin n agaiin. end upp still say till as iin he diidnt do aniithiing wrong, and turn over to suspect tat euu n hiis bro betray hiim. dden euu fiinally found out, all along euu giive iin sooo manii trust to hiim, but he diidnt giive iin anii trust to euu at all. haiis. perhaps, break iishx beta bba. he saiid now dde hiim feel more relax n happii lerrs. gud fer hiim lorrs.
lastly, ii would like to tell euu all, ii nv liike moii darliing, althought we are verii close liike stead. but iindeed we are jus purely frenz n gan darliing. now ii jus wanna bbe siingle. ii realii verii tiired lerrs, still not yet prepared fer relatiionshiip, jus wan to rest. haiis. waiit ii cum back frm hong kong dden say bba. let fate deciide.
today, msg wiith hiim he say wat wanna siien miie. haiis. he take iit verii fun but to miie verii hurt lorrs. haiis. dunno wat to say lerrs larrs. stop here bba.

That's When I Y0u

1:11 AM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

now at darliing dde iinternet cafe. feeliing sooo tiired riight now. whole niite nv go home. at ah kiiat kor kor house. hahax. at fiirst saiid wanna play mahjong end upp eat fiinish lerrs. all run to slp lorrs. soo tiired siia. slp few hours niia.
ytd went to sii waii fetch ah kiiat kor kor. pass by hiis house ther. suddenly all memoriies cum to miind. the tiimes we spend tog at ther. all soo sweet larrs.
ytd sophiia called miie upp. askkiing miie wat happen to miie n hiim. haiis. agaiin ii niid to repeat the story. agaiin cause miie thiinkiing back how he treat miie na. yuckks. the feeliing not gud larrs.
haiis. ytd boii jiio miie patch. ii rejected agaiin.
sophiia tell miie maybb after soo manii thiing between miie n hiim, ii should thiink back who iishx the one tat treat miie most gud, iishx boii.
but no matter wat iit iimpossiible fer us to patch back lerrs. as the feeliing iishx not ther lerrs. patch back oso no use lerrs.
hope he could fiind sumone beta. stop doiin stupiid thiing lerrs.
ii miight bbe soo cruel lerrs, ended our's 2 yr relatiionshiip jus liike tiis. even until now tat ii had alreadii break wiith hiim ii still dubb wanna giive hiim one more chance. causiing hiim soo sad.
but boii, euu should know miie well dde. ii leave lerrs, mean no turniing back, moii feeliing fer euu gonex lerrs, mean ii wun turn back lerrs. and go by moii rulex, ii wun patch back wiith moii ex dde. coz of hiim ii break moii rulex once. ii wun break iit once agaiin.
he will bbe the fiirst n the last one ii will patch dde. even iin the future, ii wanna turn back, oso turn back to hiim, one person niia.
now dde miie had alreadii changed, will becum more n more cruel n heartless to aniione. except hiim. now, nothiing iishx iimportant to miie, recently, ii fiinally see alot of thiing n ppl clearly lerrs. giiviing upp on alot of thiing now. even moii self iishx tiired of handliing sooo much thiing, no longer wanna bbe a xiiao meii meii lerrs. been lookiing back on moii past, how much miistakes ii had committed. iit's countless. cumiing 17 tiis yr lerrs, should know how to thiing lerrs.

to all moii dearest siista,
thiink frm now on, ii seldom will contact wiith euu all lerrs. jus rem take care lorrs. and everyone of us always saiid sooo manii thiing wen thiing happen, sayiing tat we know how to thiink lerrs. but wen thiing happen on us, all becum rubbiish. we commiitted the same miistakes oso ar. must know how to thiink lerrs ar. wat ah liian, fiight all no use lerrs lehhs. work n study more iimp lorrs. especiially, LAI JIE YING, euu tot euu still young ar. 19 liiao lehhs. still dunno how to thiink. study hard larrs.

That's When I Y0u

2:30 PM

Saturday, March 17, 2007

now at moii stupiid darliing dde iinternet cafe lorrs, waiitiing fer hiim to knock off frm work. soo bored larrs. hahax. he ar, sittiing besiide miie seeiing wat ii type n at ther kpkb, dubb wanna go work. hahax.
erm. ytd dden fiinally realiise, ya. ii still love hiim but not as much as last tiime. the feeliing no longer the same lerrs. at the same tiime ii realiise tat, wen sumthiing happen to moii darliing, ii will feel worry n will miiz hiim dde lorrs. hahax.
was soo confused now oso. wanderiing diid ii fall fer hiim lorrs. actually he realii verii gud lorrs, treatiing miie verii gud, dote on miie alot oso lorrs. but now iishx not the tiime fer miie to start a new relatiionshiip lorrs. should bbe after ii totally forget abt hiim bba n after ii cum back frm hong kong bba.
between eddy n moii darliing, ii know ii had to choose one. nv expect to patch wiith eddy now oso, nv expect moii darliing to waiit fer miie oso.
let fate deciide bba. c wen ii cum back tat tiime, who iishx the one still waiitiing bba. maybb both oso dubb wan, stay siingle. hahax.
now, ii tiired of relatiionshiip oso lerrs, ii realii niid rest lerrs.

recently, he realii changed alot. wat iishx goiin on wiith hiim. seeiing hiim liike thiis, iindeed ii will still worriied. iindeed ii still care fer hiim bba. but he iishx the one to cause everythiing ended upp liike tiis. who to blame?
maybb all along loviing hiim iishx a miistakes, or should ii say, our relatiionshiip started at the wrong tiime. fiinally beliieve wat other's saiid. leopard wun change iit spot. a flirt will always bbe a flirt.
iin tiis 5 month tiimes, ii could onlii saiid, the everythiing ii gave iin, the everythiing ii diid, the trust ii gave hiim iishx all a waste. ther once ii tot ii cant liive wiithout hiim, but now ii fiinally realiise, wiithout hiim, moii liife could still carry on happiiler dden the past.
thiink we can onlii remaiin as frenz forever bba. no more turniing back fer our relatiionshiip lerrs. iit's the end.
aii nii sii yii ge cuo wu dde jue diing!!!! wo dde xiin yii jiin sii lerrs!!!! ii will let moii hand go lerrs. never will ii contiinue to hold on to euu lerrs!!!
there once ii love euu truely n deeply frm moii heart, iishx euu the one to choose tiis path dde.
never saiid euu regretted and turn back agaiin, end upp turn back makiing the hiistory repeat agaiin.

darling,
ytd wen sumthiing happen to euu, honestly, ii realii worriied abt euu lorrs, miiz euu soo much. wiithout euu, liike sumthiing iishx miissiing lorrs. feel soo weiird, feel sooo uneasy. next tiime euu make miie worry agaiin ii sure kill euu dde ar. got one thiing today whole day ii nv tell euu dde. ytd, got worriied fer euu till almost cry lorrs. bleahx. love euu, miiz euu. muackks. hehex.

` miissJAC `

That's When I Y0u

2:08 AM

Friday, March 16, 2007

tiis few day lots of thiing happen. on the 7th of march, miie n hiim break upp lerrs. our's story finally cum to the end lerrs. ii could forgiive the fiirst tiime, the sec tiime doesnt mean ii could forgiive the thiird tiime. on the 11th of march ii thrown away our riing. the riing once represent our's love, our's promise. once iit's meant alot to miie. but now, iit's all becum nothiing, iit's onlii represent a promiise tat beiing broken too manii tiimes and the hurts he gave miie.
now ii cant cry lerrs. moii tears had driied lerrs bba. thiink tiis will bbe our's last tiime patchiing n breakiing lerrs bba. wen ii saiid break, he seem ok. all along perhaps ii had nv stand a place iin hiis heart bba.
ii never hate euu even until now, even after euu shown miie how much euu dubb trust miie. ii was jus feeliing soo heartaches n heartbroken, all along ii had gave euu sooo much trust, even after beiing betrayed bby euu sooo manii tiimes, ii still forgiive n forget, still gave iin moii trust to euu, but end upp euu betray iit agaiin n agaiin. euu take iit fer granted.
whiile euu are the one who nv gave miie anii of ur trust, giiviing miie a reason tat ii break moii promiise fer not driinkiing aniimore, tat cause euu not to trust miie, suspect tat ii betrayed euu.
ii would realii liike to askk, who iishx the one who cause miie usiing liiquors to numb moiiself? who iishx the one who break the promise most, who iishx the one who break the promiise more seriiously? iishx iit miie? iishx iit moii fault? wat ii had done wrong to deserve all tiis?
how paiin moii heart was, how hurt ii am? no one could understand.
"sorrii, hurt euu agaiin" tiis iishx not the word ii wanna heard frm euu. ur sorrii always becum nothiing. how much trust, how much love, how much ii gave iin, iishx iit all useless? iin ur heart iishx all tiis jus meant nothiing? even those tiimes we shared tog oso meant nothiing to euu? ii triied to forget but ii cant.
look at urself, how much euu changed? now, euu are no longer who ii know iin the fiirst place. now ur bro, ur erzii, ur everythiing euu oso dubb wan lerrs mahhs? euu realii can coz of maple break all relationshiip wiith all of them? wake upp pls. euu know how much ppl worry of euu mahhs? no one wan to c euu liike tiis lorrs. ii truely diisappoiinted iin euu. ii know now the everythiing euu do, iishx not wat euu do iit frm ur heart, iit all do iit purposely dde. why must euu do tat?
but aniiway still thanks fer giiviing miie a beautiiful love story. ii will always rem the happii n perfect moment wiith euu dde.
now tat ii awake frm tiis beautiiful dream lerrs. hopiing to start a new liife wiithout euu, but can ii? wanderiing.
ii had changed alots iin tiis short periiod of tiimes, recently almost everyniite ii was at boat quey, driinkiing n driinkiing. flirtiing n flirtiing.
started to have a verii biig gap wiith almost all moii siista lerrs, except yiing n xiin bba. seem liike we are driiftiing away frm each other lerrs. ii liike no longer part of them lerrs, anii event, ii seem to out of iit, as no one iinform miie, or get to know onlii at the last miin dde.
always iim the one calliing them, they wun call miie dde lorrs. haiis. feeliing quiite sad abt tiis. ii had jus lost moii relatiionshiip now seem liike ii goiin to lost moii siista oso lerrs.
haiis. maybb iim too busy over work? maybb iim changed to sumone they couldnt accept? haiis.
now everyday moii liife was jus abt morniing slp, afternoon work, niite boat quey wiith moii gan darliing n moii gan kor lorrs.
work wiith them, boat quey wiith them, eat wiith them, play wiith them. the tiimes wiith them iishx realii verii happii lorrs. they dote on miie alots. hehex.
but tiimes wiithout moii siista iishx realii not used to iit. sumtiime realii miiss them lots, wiish to askk them out, but most of the tiimes, they got theiir own stuff to do. haiis.

iim always iin the world of darkness. . . .

That's When I Y0u

3:21 AM

Thursday, March 08, 2007

been at boat quey fer the past 3 days lerrs. sooo manii thiing happen at boat quey tiis few day.
4 of feb - went down to ES. helpiing mummii out, serve the customer, driink wiith customer. table 7 dde customer soo guofen, kept jiio miie driink but wen ii fiiniish driinkiing n walk away lerrs, he nv fiinish hiis lorrs. but one of hiis frenz treat miie verii gud lorrs, concern abt miie, and still wanted to driink fer miie. quiite handsome oso. hahax. forget to take number. hahax. jkjk. dden wen closiing almost fiight lorrs. dden after tat miie, xiin n yiing went to moii gan darliing house ther to meet hiim till morniing 6 plus dden go home. wen on the way back, xiin n yiing tell miie lot of thiing abt miie n hiim dde, ii criied soo badly. keep soo xiinku n tiired over tiis relatiionshiip or should ii say xiinku n tiired over how he treat miie. haiis. now dde us was liike gettiing more n more bu xiiang boy,girl frenz lorrs.
3 of feb, he was angry wiith miie jus coz of ii dubb wanna help hiim make maple thiing. but tat day wen ii reach home ii was feeliing sooo unwell lorrs. ii explain to hiim. but he still angry, at tat moment, ya iim angry. but moii heartbroken, heartache more dden angry. iit was liike now maple iishx much more imp dden ii siick. and ii had been siick fer soo manii day lerrs, he know iit, but diidnt shown anii concern at all. whiile the one who concern n care fer miie more dde, iishx moii gan darliing but not moii bf. iit all verii diifferent frm last tiime lerrs.
ii thiink ii properly stand no place iin hiis heart lerrs bba. no longer iimp to hiim lerrs.

nowaday, we always quarrel over small matter, lame problem. siince the day he iishx back till now, ii realii gone verii crazy lerrs. everyday driink n driink n driink. even iim siick or haviing a bad gastriic paiin. ii still go n driink. iim numbiing moiiself bba. now dde miie, do thiings tat the old miie wun do. everythiing ii do, ii realii dunno wat iim doiin. ii realii crazy lerrs. frm 14 of feb moii liife was gettiing on wiith no soul. ii totally cant rem wat ii had diid iin the past few week. even iishx the thiing ii diid iin the past few day, moii memoriies toward was sooo blur. even the day ii diidnt went to boat quey, stayiing at home, the memoriies iishx oso verii blur. iim no longer who ii am.

dunno why, moii darliing care n concern more dden moii bf do, moii darliing understand miie more dden he do. moii darliing treat miie beta more dden he do.
every small liittle thiing abt miie, moii darliing all know dde. liike everytiime ii driink soft driink must take straw dde.soo he everytiime buy driink fer miie oso help miie take straw dde. he even can saiid out, wat kiind of bf ii wan, how ii wan moii bf to treat miie. how ii feel over tiis relatiionshiip, he can jus siimply saiid everythiing out wen ii diidnt tell hiim aniithiing at all. but although he kept lii siiao askk miie wen wan bbe hiis gf, but he diid seriiously tell miie once, iif can, hao hao wiith moii bf. he realii verii gud lorrs.
but iin moii heart still love eddy sooo much, but iif tiis case continue, how long can ii hold on?? or will ii gonex even more craziier dden now? haiis. wat should ii do?
sumtiime thiink tat dyiing iishx more beta dden liiviing.

ii had fallen back to the world of darkness long ago lerrs.

That's When I Y0u

3:40 AM

Thursday, March 01, 2007

boat quey agaiin. hehex. go wiith jef honey n xiiang xiing erzii. went to ES look fer jiie yiing. driink beer ther. hahax.
ii enjoy n happii iin the fiirst place dde. but end upp ii feel soo moodless, soo unhappii. quarrel wiith hiim agaiin. siick n tiired. quarrel almost everyday.
siitted down quiietly,listen to song. never walk around liike the tiime ii jus reached ther. feel liike cryiing lerrs. jef kept jokiing around tryiing to make miie laugh. but out of ten sentences, 9 sentences iinclude hiis name. end upp still criied. haiis.
after tat we went over sumwher around explanade. all the way frm boat quey till we went home. jef kept jokiing around makiing miie n erzii laugh.

jef,
euu was sooo lame tat day lorrs. wun forget how lame euu are dde, and the everythiing euu saiid.but thanks alots fer makiing us laugh. iif euu wasnt ther, thiink ii will bbe cryiin non stop tat niite bba. ur effort iishx not wasted lorrs, coz euu realii diid change moii mood to the beta. thanks sooo much.

erzii,
dubb thiink too much k? jus hope euu will bbe fiine. let nature make iit's course. mama will always bbe ther fer euu dde. even iif 1 day miie n ur papa break lerrs, euu dubb regard miie as mama lerrs, but ii will still regard euu as erzii dde.

That's When I Y0u

3:23 AM