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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

tiis two days, moii days was liike sooo sux. ii was liike goiin crazy soon. verii moodless, verii xiinku. every miin n every sec iim miissiing hiim soo badly, the tiimes beiing wiith hiim, the memoriies wiith hiim, the everythiing jus kept flashiing on moii miind agaiin n agaiin. jus cant concentrate doiing aniithiing, cant bbe happii. kept keepiing moii self busy, wen iim free, moii miind, moii heart, moii feeliing iishx all iin a mess. realii driiviing miie crazy soon.
ytd reach home damn early, wen ii open moii house door, nobody at all, the liight iishx all swiitched off, verii quiiet. ii dunno why ii feel soo scared, feel liike goiin mad. iit was liike steppiing iinto a world of darkness, and iim the onlii one ther. sooo helpless.
fiirst tiime ii feel soo scared wen iim soo bad mood, soo unhappii n iim all alone. the paiin iishx killiing miie. kept thiinkiing of alot alot of thiing. the moment ii stepped iin moii house, moii mood was realii down to the core. verii unhappii, verii sad. iin the past, tiis kiind of feeliing nv cum across moii liife before.
lucky, yiixiin was there to liisteniing to moii sorrows patiiently, we talked on fone fer verii long, she was ther to console miie, giive miie adviise. askiing to bbe cruel siince ii choose to make tiis deciisiion. but how can ii? moii heart cant get to bbe soo hard and bbe soo cruel. tiis iishx wat everyone know arx. *( but proviided to moii siista n the one ii love onlii larrs )* haiis.
but still thank to her, after the talk to her, ii feel more beta, more calm lerrs.

today wen ii off work lerrs, closiing moii shop, he came out n take cab dden straiight away go off, uncle yong suddenly askk miie "eh, he nv waiit fer euu arx?" ii keep verii silent, ii dunno wat to say. haiis. dden he saiid "aiiya, euu all still a kiid larrs". ii oso keep quiiet. ii thiink he roughly know wat happen to us bba. iit's soo obviious lorrs.
dden after tat all go lerrs, ii still stay ther talk to xiiao tiian, dden one guy always iin iinternet dde cum c fone dden we got talk dden he lii siiao miie go tell ah dii "iif ii wanna siianx her, ok mahhs?"
ah dii repliies "she iishx our bro dde siiao ehx, dubb aniihow."
dden suddenly feel more sad.
dden ii saiid "ah dii, dubb aniihow saiid larrs, miie n ah boii realii nothiing dde lehhs, we oso nv talk liiao"
dden he repliies "nv talk? ii iinsiide got camara dde hors, lata ii go c arx."
dden he go off lerrs.
haiis.
dden tat guy go iin dden jus niice ii was iinsiide.
tat guy askk ah mel "mel, she ah boii siiao ehx arx?"
dden dunno wat ah mel replies, cant heard.
dden ii turn back and saiid "ii alreadii saiid iim not"
dden he lii siiao "euu not, dden follow miie lorrs"
dden ii walk out and saiid "aiiya, dubb wan talk to euu liiao larrs"

today, oso saw viincent, ii was smokiing iin hp shop, he came over lii siiao n saiid,
"mei nu, wat euu doiin huh?"
ii replies "smokiing lorrs, dubb lii siiao miie, bad mood today, haiis"
he repliies "bad mood? quarrel wiith xiiang ho larrs"
dden he walk away, ii oso nv reply, keep silent.

haiis. sot arx. wen iim soo unhappii over miie n hiim dde matter, dden suddenly soo manii ppl cum diisturb miie over miie n hiim. wtf? haiis. sot arx. crazy arx.

today choose not to go home soo early, at fiirst yiixiin suggest to go bq, but as no much ppl wanna go plus ii oso dubb realii feeliing liike goiin, feel liike driinkiing dden at panjang slack lorrs, till 2 plus xiin go home fiirst dden miie n yiing go block downstaiir chat. ii tell her alot of thiing. all moii feeliing till 3 plus dden go home. haiis
why why why?
why onlii until now dden she tell miie everythiing?
now dden ii now all along,
he had bbeen concern abt miie sooo much tat iit more dden wat ii could c.
wen ii throw the straw heart away, he actually diid feel heartaches, feel regret.
everytiime we quarrel he was actually soo concern abt iit n diid tell yiing dde.
all along, he had actually done sooo much coz of miie n was realii soo seriious to miie, iit's all lots more dden wat ii could see n expected. iin the past ii tot he dubb realii care tat much dde.
wen ii heard all tiis, ii was liike goiin crazy. the tears all feel liike droppiing sooo much lorrs. realii feel liike bangiing the wall n diie.
why iim soo stupiid? nv seen a gal soo stupiid liike miie before lorrs. haiis

ii realii feel soooooooooo weak, sooooooo tiired now. haiis.
there's once ii tot we are realii meant to bbe tog dde. ii can realii fiind a gud guy liike hiim but now seem liike iim blowiing iit off wiith moii own hands.
haiis.
iif one more chance will bbe giiven to miie,
iif tiime could ever turn back,
iim sure ii will treasure siince the startiing poiint,
wun let hiim go agaiin.

realii dunno am ii makiing the correct deciisiion or not.
wat iishx riight & wat iishx wrong?
ii realii dunno.

CONFUSED
VEXED!!!

HAPPINESS ALWAYS
SEEM TO BE
SHORT,


WHILE ;


SADNESS ALWAYS
SEEM TO BE
ETERNITY.
That's When I Y0u
5:22 AM