♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

erm. .wat should ii saiid today lehhs. hahax. ii oso dunno. everythiing seem liike gettiing beta fer miie n hiim recently, ii realii dunno wat iishx happeniing? ii dunno wat he thiinkiing.
but ii hope to stay liike tiis forever, no more endless waiitiing, endless diisappoiintment lerrs.
everyniite ii will receiive hiis call, althought the tiime we talk on fone iishx not as long as the past but iit's alreadii a biig iimprovement lerrs. ii alreadii verii happii lerrs.
and miie n moii siista all gettiing beta lerrs. wiith xiin oso can soo called ok back lerrs bba. plus got sharon, yong wei they all tiis group of gud frenz always bby moii siide wenever iim feeliing bad. and now ii found one more person tat care n concern miie soo much, stayiing bby moiisiide always oso dde. and tat celest.
thanks to all of euu iincluded tiing, yvonne fer stayiing moii siide fer tat periiod of tiimes, wiithout the support euu all gave to miie, ii dunno wat will happen to miie, how ii will bbe liike. euu are the one tat guiide miie thru tiis path. liighten upp moii liife. show miie moii way to go.
nv regret knowiing euu all.
ii onlii wanna work hard earn more money, treasure wat iim haviing now, treasure the everyone of them.
most iimportant, iif miie n hiim can go back liike the past, ii will treasure hiim, treasure the everythiing, every moment we have. love hiim fer who he iishx, wun request anii changes frm hiim. jus wan to love the true hiim. love hiim as much as ii can.

dubb wanna bbe hiis tuesday n friiday, jus wanna bbe hiis forever, bbe hiis onlii n last one. either euu giive all ur's day to tat two wendy or euu giive iit to aniione of them or euu giive iit to a new giirl or euu giive iit all to miie. dubb wanna share euu wiith aniione else coz ii jus siimply love euu soo much.

That's When I Y0u

6:50 AM

Monday, May 28, 2007

ytd went to terry bez wiith sharon, yong wei they all. dden soo unlucky lorrs. they fiight ii oso tiio. coz jus soo unlucky stand behiide tat guy tat kana beat. dden ii tiio abiit lorrs. lucky meii liing briing miie out of the fiight. ytd, nose bleediing, dden today wake upp head swollen, dden back oso paiin. sobx sobx. kke liian lorrs miie.
today morniing dden reach home siia, coz after tat go 163 meet da boii n wen jun they all dden driink wiith them, kaoz. fuckiing drunk today wen ii get home, straiight lye on moii bed dden slp lerrs. kept vomiit the gas out onlii. the gas make miie feel verii uneasy lorrs.
haiis. unlucky day fer ytd larrs. next tiime ii go terry bez sure wun stand iin the miiddle of the dancefloor lerrs. not soo stupiid liiao.
haiis. the day before ytd went to viiew hiis friiendster n dden liink to wendy's friiendster dden saw her shoutout wriite dunno wat love till the end n wat miiz euu lots lots sumthiing liike tat larrs, cant realii rem liiao dden behiide put dde name iishx ah ho uncle.
still saiid nv patch. but wat tiis siia. dden before ii go ms ytd ii askk hiim abt tiis thiing he saiid he n hiim no lerrs, now iishx other one oso call wendy. dden he always call her dear, aii aii all tiis dde.
dden wen ii waiiting fer cab besiide moii shop sell cloth dden uncle hiis wiife tell miie, recently always got a giirl cum accompany hiim, long haiir quiite beautiful dde. dden ii askk hiim iishx who? he saiid hiis ex, the wendy lorrs he tell miie jus now lorrs. haiis.
dden after ms dde thiing lerrs, ii got tell hiim dden he liike quiite care abt miie but liike not realii, oso dunno wat he thiinkiing. dden tell miie wat one week how manii day accompany the two wendy, dden how day accompany.
fuckk, make miie real angry, real sad lorrs. ii dubb wanna bbe liike tiis. iif he wan he go fiind the two of them. dden after hang upp went back kept driink liike crazy.
but supriizely ii get soo drunk soo fast ytd, iishx iit coz of the bad mood? haiis. dunno larrs.
recently found a song, found iit quiite meaniingful. liike wat realii happen to miie now, wat ii wanna saiid n how ii feel lorrs.
here iishx the lyriic.

don't leave me here by lydia.

i don't wanna feel this pain,
i'm so tired being ashamed,
and my heart is so confused,
coz it still belong to you.
thinking abt those days,
whenever you would call & say
that i would never be alone,
but now i'm here
all on my own.
is it over, is it true
oh. . tell me why.
give my heart a chance to say goodbye.
we don't even talk anymore.
it's been so long
since the last time that you called.
i just don't know, is it me?
or is there sumone else.
if you even care,
if there's still something there,
don't leave me here.

you were my love, my only need,
& it was you that set me free;
but only you could see;
all the pain you bring to me.
you were my light
guid my way;
you turned darkness into day.
said forever we'd be one,
but forever come & gone.
is it over, it it true.
oh. . tell me why
give my heart a chance to say goodbye
we don't even talk anymore
it's been so long
since the last time tat you called
i jus don't know, is it me?
or is there sumone else.
if you even care
if there still something there
don't leave me here.

is it over, is it true
oh. . tell me why
give my heart a chance to goodbye
we don't even talk anymore
it's been so long
since the last time that you called
i jus dunno, is it me?
or is there someone else
if you even care
if there's still somthiing there
don't leave me here
don't leave me here

That's When I Y0u

2:01 AM

Saturday, May 26, 2007

had been alreadii two day tat ii nv saw hiim lerrs. today fiinally get to see hiim but iit's jus a verii short periiod of tiime.
niite, he askk to waiit fer hiim to cum down, waiit lorrs. dunno fer wat oso siia. end upp he cum down lerrs. dden ii askk hiim tiis few day gamble wiin or lose. dden he askk miie go iin to hiis iinternet cafe, dden show miie he nv gamble lerrs.
ther once hiis hp put on the table, dden he talkiing wiith other dden jus niice ii turned over n saw the msg, he dunno wanna send to who dde, type till half way onlii. but the fiirst word was "dear"
thiink properly iishx have new gf lerrs bba.
but dunno why, ii dubb have much feeliing. iishx iit becoz all tiis tat happened now was jus siimply expected dde or moii feeliing fer hiim iishx fadiing??
haiis. dunno larrs. wat ii know now iishx other dden let go, forget, giive upp n put down iishx still let go, forget, giive upp n put down.
there's wun bbe anii miiracle aniimore, iit's the end mean the end lerrs. wat passed can nv turn back. wat lost can nv get iit back.
ytd he called miie iim realii verii happii, seem liike everythiing go back the past. but today after ii saw tat msg, everythiing jus shattered iinto pieces and fiinally realiise wat passed will nv turn back dde. no matter wat thiing wun restart agaiin, wun realii go back the same as the past.

That's When I Y0u

2:47 AM

Thursday, May 24, 2007

today slp till eveniing tiime 7 plus dden wake upp, late fer work today. at fiirst mood alreadii verii bad lerrs, after tat he suddenly call, ii was running and rush out the pub to ans hiis call, but end upp even more bad mood. he told miie he goiin to change to niite shiift lerrs.
ii saiid lerrs, iim leaviing soon lerrs. treasuriing the tiime wiith hiim recently but now he change to niite shiift even lesser tiime to c hiim lerrs.
ii wanna get drunk today, ii driink alot alot. but cant. moii heart was soo paiin. wen ii reach home ii cant get to slp at all. ii dunno why, ii kept cryiing n cryiing. no matter wat ii do, ii oso cryiing. ii realii goiin break down lerrs. sharon tell miie she oso breakiing down lerrs. but at lease she still got shafik ther to love n care fer her soo much. but who ii have?
ya, honestly, ii have alot but they are not who ii wan. the one ii wan iishx onlii hiim. but he wun bbe around fer miie aniimore.
ii told moiiself stop cryiing lerrs, everythiing ended long tiime ago lerrs. no poiint cryiing now, but ii cant, ii realii cant stop moii tears frm droppiing. ii cant stop moii heart frm bleediing, cant stop the paiin of moii heart. ii got no reason, no energy to hang on. ii realii dunno wat to do, wat to saiid.
moii miind, moii heart was iin a mess now. haiis. please stop forciing miie. ii dubb wan to cry or break down iinfront of hiim one day. haiis.

now to miie, sharon understand more dden moii siista do, care fer miie more dden moii siista do. realii thank her soo much. thank her fer stayiing by moii siide n lend miie her liisteniing ears. even she wanna marry wiith shafiik lerrs, oso got thiink of miie, wan miie bbe the ban liiang fer her. hahax. thank sharon.

That's When I Y0u

6:49 AM

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

today wake upp verii early fer tat counselling, lucky the counsellor not verii naggy. around 5 miin tiime dden can go off lerrs. yeah, moii off day tml agaiin. niite loliipop. siianx diiao. but coz of money suan liiao. diie diie oso must work. hahax.
today damn tiired at workplace, fiirst tiime ii can sleep at outsiide plus no pillow, no bed all tiis dde. can c how tiired ii am bba. whole day nv see hiim lerrs, miiz hiim soo much. haiis. dden tml ii off cant c hiim agaiin. afternoon call hiim nv ans, dden he niite call miie. ii soo happii lorrs. but talk awhile onlii. dden he saiid call miie back lata, he go bath. haiis. ii know he now dde "call euu back lata" sure wun call back dde. but ii dunno ii still soo silly waiitiing fer hiis call, verii verii tiired ii oso dubb wanna go slp jus to waiit fer hiis call. haiis. thiink today will still bbe a diisappoiintment niite bba. haiis. suan liiao. used to iit lerrs. numb liiao.
soo silly lorrs, know verii well tat he wun call lerrs, still keep iinsiist to waiit liike tiis. everyday, agaiin n agaiin.

` -[ waiitiing fer a person iishx realii verii paiinful. ]- `

That's When I Y0u

1:57 AM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

jus fiinish eatiing the sleepiing pill ii took frm mummii, hope ii can realii rest well toniite. as ii have to wake upp early iin the morniing tml fer moii last counselliing session, fiinally.
tml he not goiin to work and wed iim not goiin to work, whiich mean we're not able to c each other fer two days. dden today ii onlii get to c hiim awhiile dden he go lerrs. he saiid go bugiis meet gal. haiis. dunno real a not, but thiink iishx truth larrs.
aniiwae, kiiat oso got a niick fer hiim lerrs mahhs ` -[ siio po chee hong boii ]- ` LOLs.
today he told miie he dubb wanna bet on soccer lerrs. he wanna quiit lerrs. ii verii happii wen ii heard tat, but dubb quiite believe coz ii dubb thiink he will realii quiit lorrs. but ii realii hope ii made the wrong guess n he will realii quiit. haiis.
erm. . . today eveniing tiime sharon called to askk miie go terry bez tiis sat, ii had nv went club wiith them before lorrs, but thiink iit's will sure bbe verii fun dde bba. plus sat moii siista they all sure will go down dde. and ii oso got askk celest along, realii lookiing forward fer tiis day lorrs.
wow, the mediicine realii effectiive wors, feeliing verii tiired now lerrs. gotta go slp lerrs. update agaiin tml. niite niite.

That's When I Y0u

3:22 AM

Monday, May 21, 2007

lately realii sufferiing frm iinsomniia, no matter how tiired ii am ii jus cant get to slp. at fiirst depend on moii mediicatiion to get moiiself to slp. but soon after the mediicatiion still cant get to slp. and now moii mediiciine had fiiniished lerrs. get even more hardest to get to slp lerrs. iif tiis case contiinue thiink sooner or later ii niid take sleepiing pill frm moii mum to get moiiself to slp lerrs. haiis. there still alot of thiing iin moii miind. flashiing agaiin n agaiin. cant stop moiiself frm thiinkiing. now even at pub work after driinkiing lots oso cant get to slp. everyday morniing 7 plus or 8 plus dden can get to slp. but cant slp well oso, dunno everyday ii waken upp how manii tiimes iin between the sleepiing tiime of miine. haiis.

sO lOsT,
sO wEak,
sO heLpLeSs.
tIrEd oF mOii sMiLe,
iiT's jUs sO fAke.
sEaRcHiiNg vErii hArD fOr mOii lOnG lOsT LaUgHtEr,
tRyiiNg vErii hArD tO sMiLe LikE nOtHiiNg hApPeN,
tRyiiNg vErii hArD tO aCt aS ii'm OkAy.
tO cOvErEd tHe tRuTh,
tAt aCtUaLly ii'm hEaVenLy bRoKeN.
ii cAn'T teLl wHo ii aM aNiimOrE,
jUs wIsH yOu wILl hErE.
wAntEd tO tReAsUrE oUr's tImEs tOg rEcEntLy,
bUt ii't jUs sO hArD.
ii mIgHt bbE lEaViiNg oUr's wOrkpLaCe sOoN,
ii rEaLii dUnNo hOw lOnG cAn wE sTiLl gEt tO sEe eAcH oThEr eVeRyDay.
bReAkiiNg dOwN iin pRoCeSs. . . .
kEep mOiiSeLf bUsy fEr wOrk iiShx tHe OnLii wAy tO sToP mOiiseLf fRm tHiinkiing.

all the promise we've make,
all the empty words ii've prayed,
all the hope faded away day after day.

That's When I Y0u

6:50 AM

Sunday, May 20, 2007

ii had seem to changed soo much iin tiis few week tiimes. been feeliing verii down tiis few day, haiis. recently, got no mood to do aniithiing or go aniiwher. jus always feel liike beiing alone iin a quiiet place wiithout aniione there to bother miie wiith anii problem.
been thiinkiing of lots of thiing tiis few days. jus wanna liive happiily, but iit's jus soo hard. memoriies, thought n miisses jus kept surroundiing miie.
ii should realii saiid goodbye fer now,
even iif ii realii dubb wiish to,
but do ii still have the choiice to choose?
tiis iishx actually wat ii should do long tiime ago,
runaway fer soo long lerrs,
lyiing to moiiself fer soo long lerrs.
iit's tiime fer miie to wake upp
&
accept the fact.

today the short diistance of road tat ii had walked tog wiith hiim iishx the happiiness moment ever siince the last tiime we played n joked till liike tiis.
today alot of thiing happen iishx liike the past. iit's had been a long tiime ii diidnt realii laugh soo truely n happiily liike today.
thanks fer today. ii thiink ii can realii saiid goodbye n leave wiith no regret now lerrs bba.
will bbe treasuriing the every moment wiith hiim fer the tiimes beiing now coz ii dunno how long can we still get to see each other everyday liike now.
perhaps, iim leaviing soon due to sum reason.

That's When I Y0u

6:01 AM

Saturday, May 19, 2007

fiinally found a blogskiins ii liike, but iit's jus soo iimperfects. too small. haiis. soo tired to continue to search lerrs. soo use back the old one, but make sum changes to iit, changed the profiles of moii blog, the wordiing siize, the content iin the front page and the song. tml dden continue searchiing agaiin slowly bba.
haiis. actually today yiing n tiing they all jiio miie go clubbiing dde, dden althought ii had alreadii wear those clubbiing clothiing out but actually still consiideriing weather ii wanna go anot. until the niite at fiirst planned not to go lerrs, dden yiing called to persuade miie to go. at fiirst change moii miind lerrs, but dden she told miie tat the one ii diisliike iishx goiin oso dden ii dubb wanna go lerrs.
today all along moii mood iishx soo gud, had a gud tiimes jokiing and playiing wiith hiim but until 9 plus moii mood changed, coz seeiing hiim talkiing on fone. as how much ii understand hiim, the one he talkiing to should bbe a giirl bba. dden after tat he liike quarrel wiith sumone dden heard sum sound liike he hiittiing the table or watever, thiink iit's must bbe quarreliing wiith a giirl he love now bba. haiis.
realii soo heartaches, suddenly moii tears all jus feel liike droppiing, dubb feel liike talkiing to aniione, moii smile all gonex iin a sudden. dden no matter wat ii do liike all wrong, forget tiis n tat. make miistakes here n there. haiis.
dden bad mood till realii feel liike goiin to club, goiin to driink. go make upp and at fiirst planned to go ms look fer yiing they all dde.
but wen ii get on the cab ii thiink alots, and ii tell the cab driiver to go back to bukit panjang dubb go ms lerrs.
coz last tiime, ii always go club, go driink wenever iim feeliing damn sad, and ended upp ii blowed the everythiing between miie n hiim coz of tiis.
ii dubb wanna commiit the same miistake agaiin, fulfilliing a promiises tat ii diidnt do soo iin the past, after wat ii had saw today, ii c even more clearly tat iit's all iimpossiible to turn back aniithiing lerrs, iit's all too late to fulfill the promiises now, iit's all poiintless lerrs. but ii jus dubb wanna bbe liike the past lerrs. ii jus hope the miissJAC iin the past.
last tiime ii always chiiong, ii flirt liike hell soo wat? end upp wat ii get? nothiing. onlii ended upp lose the one who treated miie soo gud n the one ii love. and get myself soo regretted now.
haiis. ii know everything had ended long tiime ago, but all along ii still bluffiing moiiself, still dubb wanna accept the fact even until now. but recently wat ii saw, wat ii heard n wat ii can feel iishx telliing miie more clearly tat everythiing had alreadii ended, no more turniing back lerrs and he had alreadii gonex frm moii liife fer verii long lerrs.
haiis. jus now tiing was telliing miie tat she feel tat iim still beta dden her, at lease ii can get to c hiim almost everyday, sumtiimes he will still call miie or sms miie.
but iishx iit realii soo? ii rather miie n tiing exchange lorrs. the more ii get to c hiim, the more paiinful n hurtful to miie, the more hard fer miie to put hiim down. to forget hiim. haiis. nobody will know such kiind of feeliing until you have realii try iit before. last tiime ii oso hope to c the one ii love more. but wen now ii get to go thru such kiind of liife, ii feel the diifferent way.
haiis. no mood to continue lerrs, aniiwae niid go slp oso lerrs. dunno wat tiime gotta let hiim wake miie upp agaiin. post tml bba.

That's When I Y0u

6:33 AM

Friday, May 18, 2007

planned to get moii blogspot background changed, searchiing onliine fer soo manii hours, soo tiired and iit's alreadii 7 plus iin the morniing now yet cant fiind one tat ii realii liike. fiinally deciided to giive upp fer today and continue tml. haas, but dunno wanna cancell moii clubbiing n cum home to search fer moii blogskiin a not lehhs. soo headache. haas.
today iim soo happii, at called miie. and iit's had been a verii long tiime we diidnt chat on the fone fer soo long lerrs. haas. miissed the past.
but today fer the whole day, he seem soo diifferent. liike weiird weiird dde. but jus cant fiigure out wat's wrong. am ii realii thiinkiing too much? or there's realii sumthiing botheriing hiim jus tat he claimed nothiing??
haiis. perhaps iim thiinkiing too much bba. forget iit. dubb thiink too much lerrs. feel real tiiriing now. iit's tiime fer miie to go to bed n rest lerrs. moii backbone was soo paiin after a few hours siittiing iinfront the com.
will get moii blogskiin changed as fast as possible. coz iim siick n tiired of the current blogskiin.

That's When I Y0u

7:07 AM

Thursday, May 17, 2007

today beiing waken upp bby yiing at 5am iin the morniing, telliing miie abt miichelle n robiin thiing. dden saiid she verii angry wiith robiin, but as fer miie, iim verii diisappoiinted wiith hiim larrs. haiis. ii tot he will realii treat her gud but end upp. haiis.
dden chat wiith her on fone till 9 plus iin the morniing, dden verii bored lorrs. called hiim, at fiirst onlii hope he will ans dden diisturb hiim. dden suddenly puttiing hiim lots lots of miissed call cum to moii miind, dden yiing giive miie iidea askk miie put 18 miissed call n 18 msg each on both hiis fone. hahax. dden ii realii do so lorrs. soo stupiid larrs. send stupiid msg. hahax.
but tiis oso let miie thiink of the past tat he send miie 18 same msg jus to wake miie upp. dden 12 plus he called miie dden get scolded. hahax. dden 5 plus wake upp called hiim back dden he saiid he not free lata call miie back, haiis. waiited hiis call or sms fer whole niite. but he oso nv call or sms miie. haiis. agaiin waiitiing fer nothiing. diisappoiinted agaiin. haiis.
wen will all tiis cum to the end? everyday liike tat ii realii will crazy dde larrs. today whole day nv c hiim, ii miiz hiim liike hell lorrs. kept thiinkiing of hiim n the past lorrs. haiis. cant c hiim today jus hope can talk to hiim on fone fer awhile lorrs, even jus fer a few miin ii oso verii happii lerrs but end upp still the same 1 sec oso dubb have lorrs. haiis. sadded.
haiis. recently hiis iinternet cafe always niid to close fer half day, sumtiime even close fer whole day, ii realii worry aniithiing will happen to hiim one day. ii dubb wanna the thiing happen last tiime to happen agaiin. tat tiime was soo worry lorrs, whole niite cant slp kept waiitiing fer hiis call. wen morniing he fiinally call, faster wake upp prepare dden rush out to hiis house downstaiir meet hiim dden go work tog.
haiis. pls dubb let aniithiing happen to hiim agaiin. haiis.

he iishx a regret to miie,
regretted ii had nv realii treasure hiim iin the past.
as day passes by,
ii realiise ii realii love hiim alot alot.
iit's more dden wat ii can feel iin the past.

That's When I Y0u

5:07 AM

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

today wake upp verii early, soo tiired, went fer tat stupiid counselliing. haiis. next tue one more sessiion of counselliing and iim free after tat. gud gud.
today jus dunno why iim soo soo soo bad mood, maybb iishx coz too tiired bba. keep thiinkiing of xiin thiing. haiis. dunno why they treat miie liike tiis, ii still verii worrii of them, scare they beiing hurt. wan help cannot help, coz iit's a promiise. iim jus siimply soo soft hearted lorrs. why should ii care siia, wen tat person nv realii care abt miie at all plus all along we oso not tat gud dde. plus wat happen recently.
but ii still feel worrii, suan lerrs larrs. let fate deciide fer them larrs, ii dunno lerrs. hand off.
today, feel verii uneasy fer wat ii had seen n heard fer the whole day lorrs. cause moii mood realii gonex worst n started to show moii temper. haiis. aiiya. dunno wat iim thiinkiing larrs. dunno wat happen to miie oso. jus feel soo pek chye n bad mood lorrs.
haiis. tiired lerrs, wanna go slp lerrs. stop here bba.

laogong zaii? lao ur head arx. crazy arx? everyone oso ur laogong arx?
meii meii? who wanna bbe ur siister siia? ii fuckkiing dubb wanna bbe ur meii meii lorrs. who oso can bbe moii kor but onlii euu cannot larrs. ii dubb liike larrs, fuckkiing hate to bbe ur meii meii
larrs.

HATE IT.
HATE IT.
HATE IT.
HATE IT.
HATE MOII SOFT HEARTED.
HATE WAT II SAW N HEARD TODAY.
HATE EVERYTHING LARRS.
HATE IT.
HATE IT.
HATE IT.
HATE IT.
FUCKING HATE IT.

That's When I Y0u

10:20 PM

Monday, May 14, 2007

back to post lerrs, recently alot of thiing happen iin moii liife. ii goiin to break down soon, 12 of may, went to ciine kbox to attend a frenz biirthday celebratiion party. get to know alot of new frenz ther, everyone of them iishx treatiing miie verii gud n care alot fer miie. half way thru the party, ii went down to ms terry bez to look fer tiing they all, the maiin propose ii went down iishx not to club, iishx to askk fer an ans frm xiin, before ii stepped iinto terry bez, ii hope tat the ans ii heard frm xiin iishx no, hiis god bro iishx bluffiing miie, but end upp the ans jus not wat ii wan. her's god bro iishx sayiing all the truth. ii dunno why, ii felt verii sad. ii criied n criied non stop outsiide terry bez, she can jus hate miie wiithout a reason out of a sudden, jus few week ago, we are still soo gud, wen iim sad she gave miie advise and console miie but why? ii diidnt do aniithiing wrong nor ii diid thiing to hurt her. why she jus hate miie out of no reason. haiis.
ii dunno why, wen iim cryiing soo badly, ii jus suddenly take out moii fone n called hiim, even through ii know he iishx sleepiing at tat tiime, at tat moment, ii jus hope tat he will piick upp. suddenly he realii piick upp, iim soo shock and he was oso at ms tat tiime doiing sumthiing. he askk miie why ii criied soo badly, dden before he hang upp he saiid sayang, dubb cry lerrs.
erm. can ii call tiis as a miiracle? to miie iit's was. dden realii feel liike meetiing hiim soo much but end upp iit all too late, he had alreadii went back. quiite diisappointed and went back to ciine.
wen ii reach ther, ii kept driinkiing non stop. and jus soo sad. end upp tat a giirl call sharon, she askk miie out of the room and askk miie wat happen, ii told her n ii criied. she jus stay bby moiisiide to console n take care of miie.
tat tiime ii realii feel even more diisappointed, wen a giirl tat we get to know each other not long care n concern abt miie more dden moii siista fer soo manii yr do. wat should ii saiid? nothiing. speechless.
forget iit ii alreadii had fiinally see the true colour of everyone of them, who realii do care abt miie n who dubb, they had alreadii gave miie the ans tat niite lerrs. ii wouldnt wan to care n thiink abt tiis matter lerrs.
jus let everythiing pass n let tiis matter rest. ii hope ii could still hang on fer the tiimes beiing and slowly receovered frm everythiing bba.
no matter wat, here to saiid thank to:
tiing tiing - you will always bbe moii siista till the end of tiime.
biin xiin - althought we seldom talk but thank fer consoliing miie tat niite. and let miie know tat ther still sumone cariing fer miie.
sharon - thank soo much as we jus get to know each other fer not long yet euu care n concern soo much abt miie.

recently, kept thiinkiing back of the past wiith all moii siista, the tiimes we always ton, always go plaza till morning, the tiimes we always get screen bby police, the tiimes we lii siiao those passerby at niite. every moment we spend tog.
&
the tiimes wiith hiim, the tiimes wen he jus work there. always lii siiao miie. askk stupiid questiion, saiid stupiid thiing liike euu eat alreadii? moii frenz wan to know euu. askk miie dubb soo dao lehhs, ii maii dao dde arx? dubb fall down all tiis stupiid thiing.
and ii c hiis friiendster askk hiim bugiis siiao dde arx? dden wen he askk miie, dden ii repliies hiim stupiid thiing, askk hiim he wan wher dde? dden tell hiim moii dad, moii ex, moii bf, moii frenz, moii bro, moii mum dde dden askk hiim wan wher dde. and lots more larrs.
now thiink back of everythiing wiith all moii siista n hiim soo stupiid lorrs, but iit's was realii verii happii n fun at tat periiod of tiime. ii will nv forget larrs. realii miiz the past.

soo manii thiing happened at a tiime, ii breakiing down soon. all ii niid now iishx onlii hiim stayiing bby moiisiide liike the tiimes eddy left miie. but iishx iit possiible? will there bbe a miiracle once agaiin? haiis. thiink the percentage iishx as low as 0.01 percent bba.

ppls always thiink tat the past iishx beta dden now,
coz wat past iishx pass,
we can nv turn back the tiime nor;
go back to the past.

memoriies are meant fer us to kept iin our heart,
memoriies are meant fer us to turn back n c wat had happened iin our liife iin the past,
but memoriies are also meant fer us to regret fer not treasuriing the thiing we used to had iin the past.
memoriies can bbe beautiful at tiimes,
but memoriies can oso bbe hurtful at tiimes.

ii finally know our's friendship fer the past 6 yrs can actually break soo easily,
euu the onlii one iim soo diisappoiinted wiith.

will there bbe a miiracle once agaiin?

all ii niid now iishx just euu.

That's When I Y0u

6:53 PM

Thursday, May 10, 2007

missjac.blogspot.com can say gotta close down fer a periiod of tiimes, not gotta update anii new post recently until ii feel liike postiing.
dubb realii wanna want to let aniione know how ii feel n wat happen iin moii liife recently, soo wun bbe updatiing fer a periiod of tiimes. thanks.

That's When I Y0u

5:11 AM

Monday, May 07, 2007

today at fiirst meet liincoln, yazii n yiing go eat breakfast dde. but end upp coz ytd ii realii verii bad mood keep cant get to slp lorrs,thiinkiing of alots of thiing. end upp slp at around 7 plus. soo too tiired lerrs dden nv go lerrs. haiis. bad mood go work today.
wen ii reach not long he go off lerrs, dunno why today hiis iinternet cafe nv open larrs. dden got askk hiim abt wendy, he saiid nv patch at all larrs. dunno real or not larrs. haiis. realii dubb wanna go thiink liiao, onlii will moiiself more confused n vexed.
wat riight do ii have to care? totally no, aniiway he got gf or no gf the outcome fer miie n hiim iishx still the same dde lorrs. haiis.
but hope he patch wiith wendy beta larrs, she treat hiim soo gud. care fer hiim soo much. hope he tiis tiime iif realii patch wiith her can realii treat her gud n treasure her lorrs, fiirst tiime can saiid iishx moii fault to cause them break off, tiis tiime iif they realii patch back, sure wun cause them break agaiin. tat tiime iindiirectly cause them break alreadii damn guilty liiao lorrs, tiis tiime iif they can patch back, ii will giive all moii blessiing to hiim.
today whole day at hp shop, niite tiime soo busy, ii realii busy till ii totally no tiime fer miie to thiink too much, but jus niice wen ii jus get to bbe free, he called, askk miie got go take the riing frm hiim not, ii saiid no lorrs, ii gotta cum daddii here fiind daddii. dden hang upp lerrs.
called hiim back to askk sumthiing dde, but end upp both hiis hp oso nv switch on lorrs, get soo worry lorrs.
end up he called miie sayiing hiis hp low batt dden fiinally fang xiin lerrs. dden he told miie he nv work ther lerrs, kaoz. the feeliing verii sux lorrs,dunno how to saiid siia. dden he saiid he nv work ii can continue work ther lerrs mahhs, ii askk hiim why lehhs, dden he saiid ii not coz dubb wanna c hiim dden wanna quiit dde mehhs? dden ii saiid who saiid dde siia? dden he saiid he thiink soo lorrs.
haiis, all along ii iishx coz of hiim dden continue work lorrs, wat coz dubb wan c hiim dden wan quiit siia. rubbiish. now iif he realii nv work lerrs, ii oso dubb wanna work lerrs larrs.

jus now at msn chat wiith eddy, haiis. dunno why suddenly ii will go askk hiim why iin the past ii love hiim soo much and yet he blow iit all off wiith hiis own hand, dden he fiinally told miie the real reason,
1. he wan miie hate hiim.
2. he know he not a gud bf.
3. he dunno he still can continue study iin siingapore mahhs.
4. he dunno we can last mahhs.
ii repliies hiim,
1. he fail to do so coz ii jus siimply love hiim soo much, ii had nv hate hiim before even until now.
2. gud or not, iishx not upp to hiim to saiid. iim the one tat know the most clearly afterall.
3. ii told hiim before, no matter can or not, ii will still waiit as long as ii know hiis heart iishx wiith miie.
4. can last or not, iishx we work hard n gonex thru everythiing tog to get everythiing dde.

why must hiim always deciide fer miie agaiin n agaiin, wen he nv even asked miie once wat ii realii wan. he saiid he know wat ii wan, but the fact he dunno at all.
iif he realii know he wun choose to do so. he say he know, iif we continue tog, he will hurt miie agaiin n agaiin dde. but he dunno, actually hiis deciisiion of leaviing miie iishx the greatest hurt he brought to miie.
diidnt ii told hiim before several tiime, as long as he was bby moii siide, ii can giive upp everythiing, ii wun care aniithiing dde. as long as ii know hiis heart iishx wiith miie, iim not afraiid to walk thru everythiing wiith hiim no matter how hard or how tough iit iishx. as long as ii know he love miie, there wun bbe hurts n sadness iin moii world, everythiing iin moii world will all seem to bbe wonderful, seem to bbe perfect.
wat ii wan iishx jus hiim bby my siide. but he choose to leave. and ii could tell hiim now, hiis deciisiion are all wrong.
ii criied out of control fer wat he had saiid n told miie today.

askkiing miie weather ii wanna patch wiith hiim or not? how am ii goiin to ans hiis questiion now out of a sudden? soo wat iif we patched? euu are goiin to leave to australia lerrs. why still askk fer patch?

jus fiiniish our talk on fone, suddenly make miie recalled back of the memoriies tat we both shared, the moment we spended, the every words we saiid, the every promiises we both made. ii miisses the tiimes we are tog, why must he leave? why must he blow iit all off?

iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will make the hiistory repeat agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will left miie iin a corner alone agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will giive upp everythiing tat we had went thru tog agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will deciide everythiing fer miie agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will act as euu dubb love miie n walk away agaiin.
ii rather we dubb patch.
tat tiime the hurts iishx too much more dden wat ii can take iit lerrs.
ii cant afford to fall iin love wiith euu agaiin,
love euu soo deeply agaiin,
dden end upp lose euu agaiin,
after tat c euu walkiing away frm miie agaiin,
and walk further n further away frm moii liife agaiin.

who iishx the one tat are leaviing? who iishx the one tat realii stayiing bby moii siide?
iin the fiirst place, eddy iishx the one seem to bbe leaviing, and he was the one seem to stay. but now eddy seem liike the one tat was stayiing and sumtiimes seem liike leaviing, and he seem liike the one leaviing but sumtiimes seem liike stayiing.
wat both of euu wan siia? pls giive miie a ans can? ii dubb wanna guess lerrs. ii got no energy to guess lerrs.

iim feeliing real tiired, wen can all tiis cum to a endiing siia? realii verii xiinku lorrs. one thiing by one thiing kept cumiing non stop, kept driiviing miie crazy.
iishx the god testiing how strong ii can bbe, how long can ii hang on,how manii thiing ii can take iin,how much tears ii can hold back?
tot ii realii soo strong as to take iin soo much, hang on soo long, hold back soo manii tears arx?
the day tat ii goiin to break down iishx gettiing more n more near lerrs lorrs. haiis.

STOP IT LARRS.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LORRS,
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER LERRS,
WAT YOU REALLY WAN SIA?
WAT YOU REALLY WAN TO DO SIA?
STOP FOOLING ME AROUND LIAO,
PLEASE LET ME OFF,
GIVE ME A ANSWER.
STUPID BLOODLY GOD!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH,
YOU JUST SO SUX SIA.

That's When I Y0u

11:20 PM

haiis, ii wun waiit lerrs, ii wun hold on lerrs, coz ii just went to viiew hiis friiendster profile, and found out he liike deleted miie frm one of hiis account, and frm hiis another acc ii saw the testii hiis ex wendy wrote fer hiim on 5th of may, sayiing tat she love hiim, muackks. such kiind of thiing. thiink they patched back lerrs bba.
tiime fer miie to really stepped out, realii giive upp n put hiim down, tml ii thiink ii will briing the two liighter n the riing down to return hiim, now all tiis are meaniingless lerrs.
jus now at workplace he saiid wen sumone treasure miie soo much, love miie soo much, care fer miie soo much, dote on miie soo much, ii dunno how to treasure, kept chiiong n hong, now tat the person alreadii bo keng eng liiao dden ii regret. ii know wat he mean.
as ii saiid wat done cannot bbe undone, tiime cannot go back dde, forget iit bba, he alreadii dubb niid miie iin hiis liife liiao. ii will stepped out, ii will gonex frm hiis liife. siince now he alreadii back wiith wendy, ii giive hiim moii blessiing, hope he will bbe happii wiith her, ii beliieve she can really treat hiim gud dde and love hiim wholeheartly dde n take care of hiim dde. jus wanted c hiim liive happii tat all.
now realii poiintless fer miie to work ther lerrs, thiink ii will quiit lerrs, go to lolipop work bba. soo long lerrs, all along ii kept thiinkiing of quiittiing but iishx coz of hiim, ii stay. now poiintless lerrs. haiis.
ii realii dunno wat to saiid, realii dunno how to express moii feeliing now. verii verii paiin iin moii heart. like a thousand kifne stab iinto moii heart larrs. lucky ii saw the testii iishx at moii dad ktv saw iit dde, iif at home, ii thiinkk ii will sure burst iinto tears. haiis.
love can bbe crazy,
love can bbe sweet,
love can bbe sad,
can bbe hurts.
love a person iishx jus soo hard.
ii cant blame aniione bba.
jus can onlii blame moiiself. haiis.

EVERYTHING ENDED!!
BYE BYE!!
TAKE CARE OF URSELF,
&
STAY HAPPY ALWAYS.

I'M WILL STEP OUT.

That's When I Y0u

11:20 PM

haiis, fiinally slightly recovered frm moii siickness lerrs, dden straight go back to work lerrs, soo ke liian siia. haiis. ytd at fiirst wanna update blog dde, but feeliing verii pek chye dden nv update lorrs.
actually can choose not to cum today dde larrs, but iinsisted to cum coz miisses sumone too much. hahax. and tat iishx moii uncle. hahax. no larrs. sumone else larrs.
haiis. recovered frm siickness, but not frm sadness. haiis. gonex thru dunno how manii endless waiitiing niite, endless diisappointment niite.
haiis. realii tiired, always been waiitiing fer sumone. frm eddy to hiim. ii dunno how long ii waiited. realii wanted to have a gud rest lerrs, realii feeliing so weak, so tiired lerrs. ii realii cant hang on lerrs. haiis. enough of crazy, enough of chiong all tiis, iit tiime fer miie to stop everythiing, and have a gud rest lerrs.
haiis. slowly forget, slowly let go, slowly put down.

That's When I Y0u

5:31 PM

Sunday, May 06, 2007

today was soo siick wen ii wake upp, fever cum back, 38.6. feel soo weak, kept sleepiing until 12 plus he called. dden faster wake upp go bath all tiis, feel realii weak, realii siick but still go down coz ii jus simply miiz hiim real badly. at fiirst goiin back home at 5 dde but coz realii hope to c n peii hiim longer dden stay, soo siick still hang on to work.
seeiing hiim gamble agaiin today, haiis. ii realii dunno wat to saiid lerrs, he had been losiing alot recently lerrs, iishx more dden a thousand dde lorrs. last tiime kept quarreliing wiith hiim over tiis, control hiim end upp still gamble, now tat ii realii dubb care lerrs, now iishx ah kiiat turn to say hiim but he still dubb liisten lorrs. haiis. dunno wat to do, dunno wat to say oso. jus can pray hard fer hiim to wiin back bba. today realii feel liike sayiing hiim lorrs, but thiink back, wat riight do ii have now to say hiim? wat relatiionshiip do we have now? plus tat tiime he alreadii saiid soo clearly lerrs, next tiime no matter wat he do dubb go kp hiim lerrs, coz iishx none of moii busiiness liiao. haiis. soo ii hold back wiith all moii words. haiis.
haiis. everyday, everyniite, been kept waiitiing n waiitiing fer hiis call, or one sms frm hiim. everytiime moii fone riing, realii hope will bbe a call or sms frm hiim lorrs, but everytiime iit's jus happened to bbe sumone else.
waiitiing sec by sec, miin by miin, hour by hour, day by day, niite by niite. diisappoiinted agaiin n agaiin. the waiitiing jus seem to bbe endless, the thiing ii waiited fer soo manii day jus nv seem to happened. everyniite, iim falliing aslp wiith the fullest of diisappoiintment. realii diisliike tiis kiind of feeliing siia.
tot of walkiing back, tot of startiing everythiing all over agaiin but thiing jus couldnt bbe totally the same as the past, tiimes still the same, cant turn back at all.
ii should bbe angry, ii should had hate hiim after ii know all the thiing, but why am ii still loviing hiim? still waiitiing fer hiis call or sms day by day, niite by niite? still missiing hiim every miin, every sec? still thiinkiing back of the memoriies we both shared? still cariing soo much fer hiim? still botheriing abt hiis thiing soo much?
ii dunno wat iim doiing now. neither do ii know wat ii should do now.
where the flirt jac had gonex to? last tiime dde miie, wun fall iin love wiith a guys soo easily dde, wun ever get confused, vexed fer a guy dde, wun coz of a guy get moii liife soo miisarable dde, wun criied fer anii guys, wun used chiiong, used driink, used hong, used work or used play to numb moiiself, to runaway n to stop moiiself frm thiinkiing dde.
last tiime dde jac jus nv put anii guy iin her's eyes, wun ever giive a damn to anii guy dde. but now, all changed. sayiing tat ii wanna flirt, but watever ii thiink of hiim, ii jus push all guy away. agaiin n agaiin. haiis.
wen jus broke off wiith boii, ii saiid ii wanna go back to the flirt gal tat ii used to bbe iin the past, but end upp ii fall soo deeply iin love wiith eddy, scarify soo manii thiing fer hiim, waiited fer hiim agaiin n agaiin.
after ii broke off wiith eddy, ii saiid the same thiing once agaiin, but end up ii was now fell soo deeply n blindly iin love hiim, was oso waiitiing now, waiitiing blindly whiile ii dunno wat iim waiitiing fer. hahax. soo funnii lorrs. haiis.

WAITING. . . .
SEC BY SEC,
MIN BY MIN,
HOUR BY HOUR,
DAY BY DAY,
NIGHT BY NIGHT.
WAITING. . . .

DISAPPOINTMENT. . .
AGAIN & AGAIN,
EVERYDAY,
EVERY NIGHT,
EVERYTIME.
DISAPPOINTMENT. . .

ENDLESS WAITING,
ENDLESS DISAPPOINTMENT,
ENDLESS SADNESS.

IT'S JUST NEVER HAPPENED AS I WISH.

That's When I Y0u

12:50 AM

Saturday, May 05, 2007

ytd niite talk to eddy on fone fer quiite long, thank fer lettiing miie know euu still do care abt miie, thank fer lettiing miie know there once ii stand a iimp stand iin ur heart. but sorrii to saiid tiis, too late, everythiing iishx too late, iin the fiirst place ii love euu soo much, keep holdiing on to tiis relatiionshiip n yet euu blow iit all off wiith ur own hand.
now tat moii heart iishx no longer wiith euu lerrs, no longer loviing euu lerrs. iin moii heart, onlii one person exiist now, and euu should know who iit iishx, ii told euu ytd lerrs.
iif euu saiid all tiis earliier, ther miight still bbe turniing back. but now moii heart iishx completely wiith hiim lerrs.
but between miie n hiim thiink iishx totally iimpossiible lerrs bba, euu askk miie to walk back, but can ii? can miie n hiim start everythiing all over agaiin? thiink iishx jus siimply iimpossiible bba. no matter how ii walk back, tiime still diidnt turn back at all.
let fate deciide bba, deciide fer miie n euu, or deciide fer miie n hiim. wat done jus siimply cannot bbe undone.
tot ii realii dunno how to thiink mehhs? iishx ii choose not to. choose to runaway frm everythiing. euu should know, euu n hiim jus siimply the one tat understand miie verii well. haiis.
go australiia study hard bba, dubb worry fer miie, ii know euu verii diisappoiinted wiith miie, jus dubb care bba. jus care abt urself n ur future. tat all. dubb look back lerrs larrs, wat over iishx over. iishx the end lerrs. all the best to euu.
ii promiise to liive happiiler wiithout euu, will take care of moiiself, soon, ii miight quiit moii pub work n chiiong liife.
euu must promiise to take care of urself n liive as happii as euu can, go fiind a gud gal n treat her gud. study hard. tat all ii can saiid.

That's When I Y0u

4:24 PM

2nd of may, start moii fiirst day of work at lolipop, wiith the effect frm 2nd may onward, every wed ii will bbe workiing at lolipop, pls kiindly cum down to support miie ya, c euu guy around ya. *ONLI EVERY WEDNESDAY*
workiing ther iishx quiite relaxiing larrs. other dden earniing more money, at lease can let miie pass moii tiime easiiler, not to thiink too much.
haiis. siick fer alot of day lerrs, keep hangiing on, until thursday fiinally bth lerrs, fever till 38.5. haiis. dden rest at home fer tiis two day, today morniing mum briing miie to c doctor, still the same old words, rest more, driink more water, eat medicine on tiime bla bla bla. liisten till siianx lorrs. haiis.
thiis two day alot of ppl msg miie n call miie, but all along, iim jus waiitiing fer hiis call n sms. but hiis call jus seem to bbe soo less. sms, not even one. haiis. wen he call miie ii realii verii happii, no matter how tiired, how weak ii am ii will still wake upp n ans hiis call. but now everythiing iishx jus soo diifferent.
the tiimes we talk on the fone iishx jus soo short, the thiing we talk abt iishx jus soo diifferent frm the past.
thiinkiing back of the past, ther once ii oso fever, headache, cough, sore throat stay at home rest, he called miie alot of tiime iin a day, kept askiing miie to go n c doctor, driink more water, rest more. jus care n concern miie soo much. and will peii miie chat on fone verii long. but now. . . haiis. dunno wat to saiid. thiing are jus diifferent.
today eveniing tiime he called miie, actually ii jus fell aslp, but ii saw hiim calliing iim soo happii faster wake upp n ans, but haiis. he seem liike calliing to argue wiith miie lorrs. dden suddenly dunno why talk abt tat two giirl ii was soo soo soo unhappii. haiis. he saiid call miie back lata, end upp untiil now he still never lorrs, he saiid ii nv call hiim, jus now once ii wake upp 10 plus, ii call hiim, he jus seem soo busy, talk not even 30 sec he straiight saiid bye bye liiao. haiis.
WTF. not even iim siick, moii heart iishx siick too. the paiin iishx torturiing miie every miin, every sec. iit's killiing miie. feel sooo weak now, the feeliing was jus liike dyiing soon.
iit's jus soo hard to love a person. soo hard to forget a person, soo hard to erase the memoriies tat we both shared, soo hard to face the person euu love everyday whiile euu are tryiing to forget.
ther once ii can giive upp thiing fer hiim, fulfilled moii promiise, but why at tat tiime let miie found out soo manii, realii wanderiing iishx he jus fooliing wiith miie even until now. haiis.
iif he realii dubb wan miie to work at pub, ii will stop workiing, unless he can show miie he realii love miie, care n concern abt miie n watever he saiid or do, he realii meant iit. he know wat ii wan, wat ii need verii well dde. he jus siimply understand miie too well.
iif he jus siimply fooliing miie, jus siimply dubb love miie, or diidnt love miie before, dden jus dubb care abt miie. even iif ii diie, jus siimply dubb care.

EITHER YOU
HOLD ME BACK
OR YOU
LET ME GO.

EITHER YOU
HOLD MY HAND TIGHT
OR YOU
LET MY HAND OFF

EITHER YOU
LOVE ME
OR YOU
LEAVE ME

IF YOU REALLY MEANT WAT YOU SAY,
I WILL MEANT WAT I SAY.

IF YOU REALLY MEANT IT BY SAYING YOU LOVE ME,
I WILL TELL YOU ACTUALLY DEEP IN MY HEART,
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

IF YOU LOVE ME TRUELY FRM UR HEART,
YOU WILL SEE WAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

WAT IS THE MEANING BEHIDE THE RING HE GAVE ME?

I'M SICK,
MY HEART IS SICK TOO.
HEARTBREAKING,
LITTLE BY LITTLE,
DAY BY DAY.
HEART BLEEDING,
BIT BY BIT,
DAY BY DAY.
THE FEELING JUS LIKE I'M DYING SOON.

That's When I Y0u

1:23 AM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

ytd liincoln cum fetch miie frm work dden go bq meet yazii n hiis frenz, was ther siince 11 plus, runniing here n there, coz robiin they all was at es, ediison oso at es dden went ther to acc them awhile dden went back to frenz place. dden es, dden frenz place. soo busy. hahax. 2 pub, 3 table. at fiirst was quiite happii dde, but wen we leaviing, sumthiing happen. dden after tat went to sambawang meet a secret person, had our's breakfast, chat fer awhile, dden go home lerrs. 8.40 dden reach home siia, after fiinish doiin moii stuff, iit's alreadii 9 plus lorrs, soo tiired, straiight away went to slp lorrs.
3 plus ah kiiat called miie n wake miie up, sayiing tat hiis fone almost get stolen, dden after the talk went to bath straiight dden go work lerrs.
today talk to hiim quiite alots, dden tell hiim ii super heart paiin, lose moii diice diice liighter tat ii brought last two day, leave iit at frenz place, forgotten to take wen ii leave lorrs. dden suddenly at niite tiime, he go buy one more diice diice liighter giive miie lorrs, ii shock lorrs, suddenly buy fer miie, iit's look quiite aliike to the fiirst one he brought to miie, but tiis iishx smaller n iishx two diice diice stack upp dde. but after tat he took moii riing agaiin.
dden after work went to hiis house ther to take back moii riing, before ii go, ii called hiim, ii askk hiim to return all the two riing to miie, he saiid ok lorrs. ii stunted lorrs, wander how cum suddenly he williing to return all to miie.
wen ii reach, ii waiited fer hiim downstaiir, dden he go home take the riing n bath. wen he cum down, he askk miie turn moii face over, dden he help miie put on the riing, tat tiime ii can feel tat was not moii real diamond riing, but ii tot was the other one, tat moment was thiinkiing tat he sure onlii briing one riing down. but wen ii turn over and ii c the riing he putted on fer miie iishx frm moii shop dde, iishx oso totally same as the one tat he iishx weariing now. ii more shocked lorrs, more stunted lorrs.
ii know the one he weariing iishx he saiid he liike dden ii free fer hiim dde, but ii realii dubb know wen he took the another one lorrs.
today, saw the black colour straw heart was still iin hiis wallet, SHOCK. still tot tat he had been throwiing iit away long tiime ago liiao.

recently, we liike realii go back to the past lorrs, the tiime wen we jus get to know each other. everythiing iishx realii all the same lorrs, the way we talk to each other, the way we play, we joke. tat tiime, ii always go chiiong, go pub wiith frenz, now oso same. even moii cough oso cum back lorrs, been stop coughiing fer verii long lerrs. still rem tat tiime wen we jus get to know each other, moii cough last fer a verii long periiod of tiime, and cough verii badly lorrs, dden tat tiime, he kept stop miie frm driinkiing cold driink.
the onlii thiing tat sliightly diifferent was, tat tiime, everyday ii will make one straw heart fer hiim dde, dden he will put all around the counter, but now dubb have lerrs. coz no more colours straw lerrs. hahax. dotx.

althrough, we are back liike last tiime, but overall the facts iishx still tat the tiimes nv turn back at all. wat done cannot bbe undone, wat happened cant take iit as iit's had nv happened bbefore, both of us will still rem the quarrel, every broken promiises tat happened iin the few month. n actually until now, ii still diidnt get the reason, why iishx he hiidiing soo manii thiing frm miie. haiis. dunno wat to do. moii heart had gonex more n more softer fer hiim as days passes bby. realii damn confused now, verii vexed arx. haiis.

now oso verii stress, today jus 1st of may, moii paiid almost spend fiinish, how to survive siia? diie lorrs. how siia?

CAN WE REALLY STILL BE SO HAPPY LIKE THE PAST?
CAN EVERYTHING REALLY START ALL OVER AGAIN?
IS IT POSSIBLE??

That's When I Y0u

1:54 AM