♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Monday, May 07, 2007

today at fiirst meet liincoln, yazii n yiing go eat breakfast dde. but end upp coz ytd ii realii verii bad mood keep cant get to slp lorrs,thiinkiing of alots of thiing. end upp slp at around 7 plus. soo too tiired lerrs dden nv go lerrs. haiis. bad mood go work today.
wen ii reach not long he go off lerrs, dunno why today hiis iinternet cafe nv open larrs. dden got askk hiim abt wendy, he saiid nv patch at all larrs. dunno real or not larrs. haiis. realii dubb wanna go thiink liiao, onlii will moiiself more confused n vexed.
wat riight do ii have to care? totally no, aniiway he got gf or no gf the outcome fer miie n hiim iishx still the same dde lorrs. haiis.
but hope he patch wiith wendy beta larrs, she treat hiim soo gud. care fer hiim soo much. hope he tiis tiime iif realii patch wiith her can realii treat her gud n treasure her lorrs, fiirst tiime can saiid iishx moii fault to cause them break off, tiis tiime iif they realii patch back, sure wun cause them break agaiin. tat tiime iindiirectly cause them break alreadii damn guilty liiao lorrs, tiis tiime iif they can patch back, ii will giive all moii blessiing to hiim.
today whole day at hp shop, niite tiime soo busy, ii realii busy till ii totally no tiime fer miie to thiink too much, but jus niice wen ii jus get to bbe free, he called, askk miie got go take the riing frm hiim not, ii saiid no lorrs, ii gotta cum daddii here fiind daddii. dden hang upp lerrs.
called hiim back to askk sumthiing dde, but end upp both hiis hp oso nv switch on lorrs, get soo worry lorrs.
end up he called miie sayiing hiis hp low batt dden fiinally fang xiin lerrs. dden he told miie he nv work ther lerrs, kaoz. the feeliing verii sux lorrs,dunno how to saiid siia. dden he saiid he nv work ii can continue work ther lerrs mahhs, ii askk hiim why lehhs, dden he saiid ii not coz dubb wanna c hiim dden wanna quiit dde mehhs? dden ii saiid who saiid dde siia? dden he saiid he thiink soo lorrs.
haiis, all along ii iishx coz of hiim dden continue work lorrs, wat coz dubb wan c hiim dden wan quiit siia. rubbiish. now iif he realii nv work lerrs, ii oso dubb wanna work lerrs larrs.

jus now at msn chat wiith eddy, haiis. dunno why suddenly ii will go askk hiim why iin the past ii love hiim soo much and yet he blow iit all off wiith hiis own hand, dden he fiinally told miie the real reason,
1. he wan miie hate hiim.
2. he know he not a gud bf.
3. he dunno he still can continue study iin siingapore mahhs.
4. he dunno we can last mahhs.
ii repliies hiim,
1. he fail to do so coz ii jus siimply love hiim soo much, ii had nv hate hiim before even until now.
2. gud or not, iishx not upp to hiim to saiid. iim the one tat know the most clearly afterall.
3. ii told hiim before, no matter can or not, ii will still waiit as long as ii know hiis heart iishx wiith miie.
4. can last or not, iishx we work hard n gonex thru everythiing tog to get everythiing dde.

why must hiim always deciide fer miie agaiin n agaiin, wen he nv even asked miie once wat ii realii wan. he saiid he know wat ii wan, but the fact he dunno at all.
iif he realii know he wun choose to do so. he say he know, iif we continue tog, he will hurt miie agaiin n agaiin dde. but he dunno, actually hiis deciisiion of leaviing miie iishx the greatest hurt he brought to miie.
diidnt ii told hiim before several tiime, as long as he was bby moii siide, ii can giive upp everythiing, ii wun care aniithiing dde. as long as ii know hiis heart iishx wiith miie, iim not afraiid to walk thru everythiing wiith hiim no matter how hard or how tough iit iishx. as long as ii know he love miie, there wun bbe hurts n sadness iin moii world, everythiing iin moii world will all seem to bbe wonderful, seem to bbe perfect.
wat ii wan iishx jus hiim bby my siide. but he choose to leave. and ii could tell hiim now, hiis deciisiion are all wrong.
ii criied out of control fer wat he had saiid n told miie today.

askkiing miie weather ii wanna patch wiith hiim or not? how am ii goiin to ans hiis questiion now out of a sudden? soo wat iif we patched? euu are goiin to leave to australia lerrs. why still askk fer patch?

jus fiiniish our talk on fone, suddenly make miie recalled back of the memoriies tat we both shared, the moment we spended, the every words we saiid, the every promiises we both made. ii miisses the tiimes we are tog, why must he leave? why must he blow iit all off?

iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will make the hiistory repeat agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will left miie iin a corner alone agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will giive upp everythiing tat we had went thru tog agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will deciide everythiing fer miie agaiin.
iif euu gotta tell miie,
euu will act as euu dubb love miie n walk away agaiin.
ii rather we dubb patch.
tat tiime the hurts iishx too much more dden wat ii can take iit lerrs.
ii cant afford to fall iin love wiith euu agaiin,
love euu soo deeply agaiin,
dden end upp lose euu agaiin,
after tat c euu walkiing away frm miie agaiin,
and walk further n further away frm moii liife agaiin.

who iishx the one tat are leaviing? who iishx the one tat realii stayiing bby moii siide?
iin the fiirst place, eddy iishx the one seem to bbe leaviing, and he was the one seem to stay. but now eddy seem liike the one tat was stayiing and sumtiimes seem liike leaviing, and he seem liike the one leaviing but sumtiimes seem liike stayiing.
wat both of euu wan siia? pls giive miie a ans can? ii dubb wanna guess lerrs. ii got no energy to guess lerrs.

iim feeliing real tiired, wen can all tiis cum to a endiing siia? realii verii xiinku lorrs. one thiing by one thiing kept cumiing non stop, kept driiviing miie crazy.
iishx the god testiing how strong ii can bbe, how long can ii hang on,how manii thiing ii can take iin,how much tears ii can hold back?
tot ii realii soo strong as to take iin soo much, hang on soo long, hold back soo manii tears arx?
the day tat ii goiin to break down iishx gettiing more n more near lerrs lorrs. haiis.

STOP IT LARRS.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LORRS,
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER LERRS,
WAT YOU REALLY WAN SIA?
WAT YOU REALLY WAN TO DO SIA?
STOP FOOLING ME AROUND LIAO,
PLEASE LET ME OFF,
GIVE ME A ANSWER.
STUPID BLOODLY GOD!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH,
YOU JUST SO SUX SIA.

That's When I Y0u

11:20 PM