<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/34811518?origin\x3dhttp://missjac.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Sunday, May 06, 2007

today was soo siick wen ii wake upp, fever cum back, 38.6. feel soo weak, kept sleepiing until 12 plus he called. dden faster wake upp go bath all tiis, feel realii weak, realii siick but still go down coz ii jus simply miiz hiim real badly. at fiirst goiin back home at 5 dde but coz realii hope to c n peii hiim longer dden stay, soo siick still hang on to work.
seeiing hiim gamble agaiin today, haiis. ii realii dunno wat to saiid lerrs, he had been losiing alot recently lerrs, iishx more dden a thousand dde lorrs. last tiime kept quarreliing wiith hiim over tiis, control hiim end upp still gamble, now tat ii realii dubb care lerrs, now iishx ah kiiat turn to say hiim but he still dubb liisten lorrs. haiis. dunno wat to do, dunno wat to say oso. jus can pray hard fer hiim to wiin back bba. today realii feel liike sayiing hiim lorrs, but thiink back, wat riight do ii have now to say hiim? wat relatiionshiip do we have now? plus tat tiime he alreadii saiid soo clearly lerrs, next tiime no matter wat he do dubb go kp hiim lerrs, coz iishx none of moii busiiness liiao. haiis. soo ii hold back wiith all moii words. haiis.
haiis. everyday, everyniite, been kept waiitiing n waiitiing fer hiis call, or one sms frm hiim. everytiime moii fone riing, realii hope will bbe a call or sms frm hiim lorrs, but everytiime iit's jus happened to bbe sumone else.
waiitiing sec by sec, miin by miin, hour by hour, day by day, niite by niite. diisappoiinted agaiin n agaiin. the waiitiing jus seem to bbe endless, the thiing ii waiited fer soo manii day jus nv seem to happened. everyniite, iim falliing aslp wiith the fullest of diisappoiintment. realii diisliike tiis kiind of feeliing siia.
tot of walkiing back, tot of startiing everythiing all over agaiin but thiing jus couldnt bbe totally the same as the past, tiimes still the same, cant turn back at all.
ii should bbe angry, ii should had hate hiim after ii know all the thiing, but why am ii still loviing hiim? still waiitiing fer hiis call or sms day by day, niite by niite? still missiing hiim every miin, every sec? still thiinkiing back of the memoriies we both shared? still cariing soo much fer hiim? still botheriing abt hiis thiing soo much?
ii dunno wat iim doiing now. neither do ii know wat ii should do now.
where the flirt jac had gonex to? last tiime dde miie, wun fall iin love wiith a guys soo easily dde, wun ever get confused, vexed fer a guy dde, wun coz of a guy get moii liife soo miisarable dde, wun criied fer anii guys, wun used chiiong, used driink, used hong, used work or used play to numb moiiself, to runaway n to stop moiiself frm thiinkiing dde.
last tiime dde jac jus nv put anii guy iin her's eyes, wun ever giive a damn to anii guy dde. but now, all changed. sayiing tat ii wanna flirt, but watever ii thiink of hiim, ii jus push all guy away. agaiin n agaiin. haiis.
wen jus broke off wiith boii, ii saiid ii wanna go back to the flirt gal tat ii used to bbe iin the past, but end upp ii fall soo deeply iin love wiith eddy, scarify soo manii thiing fer hiim, waiited fer hiim agaiin n agaiin.
after ii broke off wiith eddy, ii saiid the same thiing once agaiin, but end up ii was now fell soo deeply n blindly iin love hiim, was oso waiitiing now, waiitiing blindly whiile ii dunno wat iim waiitiing fer. hahax. soo funnii lorrs. haiis.

WAITING. . . .
SEC BY SEC,
MIN BY MIN,
HOUR BY HOUR,
DAY BY DAY,
NIGHT BY NIGHT.
WAITING. . . .

DISAPPOINTMENT. . .
AGAIN & AGAIN,
EVERYDAY,
EVERY NIGHT,
EVERYTIME.
DISAPPOINTMENT. . .

ENDLESS WAITING,
ENDLESS DISAPPOINTMENT,
ENDLESS SADNESS.

IT'S JUST NEVER HAPPENED AS I WISH.
That's When I Y0u
12:50 AM