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Sunday, June 24, 2007

iit's alreadii 9.20 iin the morniing, ii still cant get to bed yet. moii mood iishx soo down, ii feel soo miiserable. diidnt wan to go to bed coz ii was afraiid to miiss hiis call or sms. but fer the whole niite tat iim waiiting moii fone diidnt even rang at all. was still wanderiing iishx moii hp spoilt alreadii or ii swiitched to siilent mode but nv lehhs. today iishx cumiing to the 3rd day we diidnt contact each other lerrs. ii dunno wat iishx happeniing to miie now, dunno wat am ii doiin n thiinkiing now. been haviing a verii strong feeliing tat tiis tiime round we will realii stop contact forever. he realii gotta let moii hang off n step out of moii liife completely. perhaps, euu all will bbe sayiing tat iim thiinkiing too much, but tiis was wat tat properly will happen. the percentage of tiis endiing dden all other outcum iishx alot more hiigher.
ii had alreadii forgotten iit's been how manii day we diidnt get to c each other lerrs. wat iishx happeniing? all meanwhile we been fine, we diidnt quarrel or wat arx, but why suddenly thiing changes soo much? out of one niite, he changes to day to darkness, he changes moii heaven to hell.
iim soo confused iin tiis whole matter, haven even make aniithiing clear n yet he iishx driiftiing away frm miie.
iim soo lost now, ii dunno wat can ii do. ii hate moiiself fer sheddiing tears day n niite. ii hate moiiself been always sheddiing tears while iim siittiing riight iinfront of the com,updatiing moii blog. ii hate moiiself fer beiing soo silly, all meanwhile actually that soo much thiing there to prove tat he had a new gf or wat lerrs, but everytiime, no matter wat he explaiin, ii jus choose to believe agaiin n agaiin. kept fiindiing excuse to make moiiself believe wat he had saiid. bluff moiiself agaiin n agaiin. kept giiviing moiiself hope wen miie moiiself know iit verii clearly, there wun bbe anii turniing back lerrs.

eventually, iim afraiid tat ii would fall iin love wiith sumone recently. he had been treatiing miie quiite gud n was tat kiind of guy ii liike. ii tot tat iif ii triied not to thiink or talk abt hiim n try to thiink n talk abt tat sumone, ii would soon forget hiim. but actually, ii cant controll moii miind to who ii will thiink of n misses. iim still here cryiing soo badly over hiim, still here waiiting silly fer hiis call or sms all bby moii own.
iim feeliing soo tiired of guessiing wat he wan n thiinkiing,
iim feeliing soo weak to continue faciing all these problem,
iim feeliing soo confused coz moii heart iishx still wiith hiim.
That's When I Y0u
9:21 AM