♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Monday, July 30, 2007

bbeen wiith alviin fer the past few day,
realii enjoyed the every moment wiith hiim
ii realii do treasure iit alots,
and realii feel happii bbeiing wiith hiim.
today was hiis biirthday
and diid spend a few hours wiith hiim.

dear,
sorrii ii diidnt wan to bluff euu
and ii wun want to deny,
at tat moment
iim realii thiinkiing of hiim.
manii tiime ii tot ii had alreadii put hiim down,
but actually all along ii diidnt,
ii still love hiim.
but please trust n believe miie,
although ii still love hiim,
but ii diid love euu too.
but ii hope euu would understand,
iit's alreadii almost 8 month lerrs,
bbeen thru too much wiith hiim,
too much memoriies,
too much thiing happened,
and there's too manii thiing surrounded miie
always remiind miie of hiim.
iit's realii not easy to put hiim down
or maybb moii heart iishx unwilliing to put hiim down.
watever iit iishx.
fer the tiime bbeiing dubb push miie away agaiin,
dubb askk miie to go back,
ii dunno was iit realii as euu saiid,
euu can feel tat he still love miie,
still cant put miie down,
but sumtiime wen sumthiing iishx gonex
iit's verii hard to go back lerrs,
and iin tiis 8 month tiime,
realii too much happen between us,
iit's soo complicated to explaiin
and no1 will realii understand,
sumtiime there's sumthiing even ii oso dubb understand.
always fer miie n hiim,
iit's always too late or too early.
but no matter wat ii will stay bby urside till the day euu go back,
and after tat ii will face back the problem between miie n hiim,
dubb worry,
iif both of miie n hiim realii still love each other,
realii cant put each other down
and we are realii meant to bbe tog,
no matter wat we will still get tog.
iim realii sorrii,
ii triied to love euu wholeheartly,
but ii realii failed to do so,
there always still hiim iin between.
maybb iit's realii take tiime.
iim sorrii iif ii realii cause euu sad
or get hurt over tiis matter,
ii know iit realii too unfaiir to euu,
iim sorrii.
but ii realii diid love euu,
although iit's not as ddeep as hiim,
but the love ii have fer euu iishx oso verii ddeep.
as ii told euu jus now,
iin moii heart,
no1 could ever replace ur's place
n as the same
no1 could ever replace hiis place.
plus ii wun wan to fiind aniione to replace aniione places.
euu are always euu
n he will always bbe hiim.
cant bbe replace.
n lastly,
happii 21st biirthday dear!!
although iim real tiired fer today,
but ii realii hope to accompany euu.
ii know euu dubb miind,
euu dubb matter
but ii realii miind and realii matter
coz ii realii do care n love euu.
hope fer tiis few day,
euu realii enjoyed n feel happii fer the every moment wiith miie.
hope frm now till the the day we go back to surrender,
everyday we will oso pass iit happily,
pass iit wiith joys n laughter.
ii realii miiz euu.
realii love euu.
realii !!!

That's When I Y0u

7:54 AM

Saturday, July 28, 2007

ytd iin the fiirst place moii mood iishx damn bad.
wen ii went to work,
ii triied nt to thiink soo much,
but shafiik cause moii mood to gonex worst.
sumhow ii realii couldnt accept the way tat shafiik do thiing,
he askk miie to go n tell ah boon tat ii wanna meet alviin out,
and wen alviin iishx out to meet miie,
he n hiis frenz will go forward to catch alviin.
yup,
iishx truth at tat moment ii still verii disappoiint and angry wiith alviin,
thiinkiing of breakiing upp wiith hiim
but afterall we are still iin the relatiionshiip,
even iif dubb saiid tat he iishx moii bf,
even jus a person tat ii realii regard hiim as moii frenz,
ii oso wun do such kiind of thiing.

alviin came over to moii pub to look fer miie after work,
we talk alot of thiing out,
coz of aii kiim kept calliing miie,
and alviin told miie now he alreadii had no feeliing wiith her,
the one he love iishx miie,
he onlii wanna accompany miie more.
ii shedded tears fer hiim ytd,
and he shedded tears fer miie too.
ii was shocked seeiing hiim criied.
always was hiim the one who askk miie iishx iit worth fer miie to love hiim
and giive iin.
but ytd iim the one to askk hiim.
ii saiid at lease aii kiim iishx loviing hiim wholeheartly now,
but all along ii had nvr loved hiim wholeheartly,
ii had nvr put xiiangho down before,
and the one ii loved the most still xiiangho,
iishx iit realii worth to love miie but not aii kiim?
he told miie,
all along he know tiis verii clearly,
but he dubb miind at all.
always sayiing miie silly n stupid,
but iisn't hiim oso the same,
doiin the same thiing as miie?
bbeen wanderiing,
iif one day he saw miie cryiing fer xiiangho,
thiink thiing will bbe diifferent lerrs bba.
hiis thiinkiing will changed lerrs bba.
ii even askked hiim,
why love miie but not aii kiim?
as they had realii gonex thru alot tog,
he told miie,
ii can toralate the everythiing tat happened recently to hiim n aii kiim,
but can aii kiim toralate?
ytd,
the everythiing we saiid n react realii verii dramatiic lorrs.
was realii liike a show.
hahas.
dden as fer today,
met hiim around 7 plus dden accompany hiim back to bedok to meet hiis siis n mum.
both hiis siis n mum oso treated miie quiite gud,
verii friiendly oso.
hopefully,
glad tat we could spend our's one month tog.
he saiid after hiis biirthday he would turned hiimself iin,
hope 3 days lata he would realii enjoy hiis biirthday.
we had alreadii ddeciided everythiing we would waiit till he cum out dden say.

xiiangho called miie jus now,
knowiing tat he was siick badly
and ii still out of moii control n concern abt hiim alots.
kept askkiing hiim to rest at home tml,
go n c doc,
not to go work fer tml.
heardiing tat he miight gettiing iin,
ii realii hope he would bbe fiine,
ii dubb wan to c hiim iin anii trouble.
ii know alviin will have to go iin fer sure,
ii dubb wiish tat he go iin oso.
dubb wiish the both of them tat ii love all go iin.
haiis.

That's When I Y0u

4:53 AM

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

haiis.
ytd niite,
stressed moiiself upp agaiin too much,
too much thiing on moii miind,
onlii till 6am dden can get to slp.
slp fer one hours plus wake upp prepare to go fer alviin court.
wen the tiime ii wake upp iishx quiite late lerrs.
rush out n take cab over lorrs.
but end upp wen ii reach dden found out he diidnt turned out fer hiis court
n found out fer the whole niite he was wiith aii kiim.
haiis.
k.
fine.
ii diidnt saiid aniithiing,
jus feel verii uneasy.
waited fer hiim till 11 plus,
dden send sharon down to work
and ii headed home.
verii tiired.
but onlii get to slp around 3 plus
wen ii reached home at 11 plus.

7 plus ah boon fiinally called miie,
ii askk hiim where he n alviin go ytd niite.
he saiid he went home at around 12 plus.
dden ii askk hiim dden who he wiith fer the whole niite.
he told miie tat he dunno.
dden ii saiid ii know he whole niite wiith aii kiim but still got wiith who mahhs.
dden he fiinally tell miie everythiing.
he saiid alviin overslept tiis morniing,
dden aii kiim nvr wake hiim upp,
coz she tot hiis court iishx 4.30.

haiis.
ii dunno wat to saiid lorrs.
tiis morniing,
not eluff slp oso went down to hiis court
end upp cant find hiim.
ii alreadii verii tiired, verii headache, verii fan liiao,
still must console sharon abt shafik n her dde thiing
n comfort her fer alviin bail thiing,
dden still niid busy lookiing fer alviin,
plus verii worry abt hiim,
scare aniithiing happen to hiim,
dden still must stop moiiself frm thiinkiing abt aii kiim thiing.
dden end upp wat siia?
let miie found out they not jus whole day two person tog alone onlii,
still go other ppl house slp.

all along ii know alviin still love her,
everythiing ii jus treat as ii dubb know,
keep quiiet.
ii dubb wanna hurt both of them,
dubb wan them coz of aniithiing abt miie unhappii.
but now currently miie n alviin still haven break off yet lorrs,
shouldnt them at lease shown miie the basiic respect?
respect ii still iin the name of alviin's gf.
overall ii'm oso a giirl lehhs,
oso will jealous dde,
oso will feel uneasy dde lehhs.

ytd actually ii thiink alot,
all meanwhiile ii kept leave the deciisiion fer alviin to deciide,
but till now still no ans.
ii thiink of endiing tiis relatiionshiip liiao,
after we break off,
he n aii kiim wan patch or wat upp to them to deciide,
but at lease wiithout miie,
they will bbe beta,
none of them will get hurt.
but sumhow,
still do feel verii unbearable,
as we had bbeen tog fer 1 mth lerrs mahhs.
haiis.
ii realii dunno wat to do iin tiis relatiionshiip lerrs.
diisappoiinted tat alviin will diisappoint miie iin tiis way.

ii thiink we should break off lerrs.
waiit he contact miie ii will tell hiim,
ii realii verii tiired lerrs.
ii dubb wanna tangle iin tiis triiangle aniimore,
dubb wanna always iindiirectly hurtiing aii kiim
n seem liike tryiing to fiight aniithiing wiith her.
dubb ever wan to c her agaiin or talk to her agaiin,
not iin liife.
let miie n alviin remaiin as frenz,
hiis court ii thiink ii will still goiin as a frenz.
take care.

as fer miie now,
after tiis relatiionshiip,
not goiin back to aniione or go to a new guy.
sumtiime wen thiing are gonex,
iishx hard to go back lerrs.
still rem once alviin told miie iif iishx tiime fer miie to go back to xiiangho dden go back,
but wen iishx the riight tiime to go back?
or should ii askk iishx ther still chance to go back.
wat he told miie tat tiime,
had nvr forget.
0% lerrs!
miie n hiim iishx alreadii hiistory lerrs,
there's no correct tiimiing fer miie to go back aniimore coz there no more chance.
as fer a new guy.
forget iit bba.
worked out iin the startiing of a relatiionshiip verii hard dde,
must understand each other,
dden must work out to stable the relatiionshiip,
tiis n tat,
soo manii thiing,
suan lerrs bba.
hahas.
soo tiriing.

That's When I Y0u

9:58 PM

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

iim soo down recently. haiis. too much problem fer miie to face n settle.
let start frm sat.
sat,
was oso a busy day fer miie.
after alviin play back drug dde matter.
moii mood was soo bad all along.
sat he nvr contact miie at all.
haiis.
tat two day driink alot.
but jus cant get to let moiiself drunk.
after work went to geylang n have moii supper wiith moii customer at 8teen.
dden went over to look fer darliing.
tot ii bbe happiiler iif ii see hiim,
but turned out to bbe worst.
coz wen ii was there,
ii thiink back of alot iin the past.
too much memoriies wiith hiim there.
dden thiink of our's relationship now iishx soo bad.
haiis.
at fiirst wanna waiit fer kiiat to cum down dde.
but waiit till 9 plus ii realii cnt stand iit lerrs.
dden go back home lorrs.
slp at around 10 plus.
but suddenly wake upp around 2 plus.
haiis.
now wenever ii stress moiiself upp too much,
ii cant get to slp long lerrs.
wen ii wake upp,
ii jus kept thiinkiing abt all the problem tat iim faciing now.
thiink of all the past.
thiink of xiiangho n alviin.
but triied verii hard to force moiiself to slp coz got to work at niite.
dubb wiish to hang over or get too tiired.
checked on moii friendster wen ii woke upp n fiind out he dropped a comment to miie.
sayiing he dubb wanna bbe selfiish all tiis.
coz he goiin iin lerrs.
dden ii repliies a comment to hiim too.
ii askked hiim to realii go n make clear
wat he realii wan n who he realii love.
n lastly ii told hiim to thiink abt our's relationshiip,
wanna go on or end here.
ii leave iit fer hiim to decide.
before he decide ii wan hiim to thiink clearly who he realii love.
wen ii reached home after work on sun niite.
he chatted wiith miie iin msn,
and told he got a ans lerrs.
he saiid both miie n aii kiim oso dubb wan
and dden we talk alot abt tiis matter.
but he still didnt giive miie the ans fer our's relationship dden ii askked hiim,
now we still tog or break lerrs.
he told miie tat he dunno,
dden ii askk hiim how,
dden he saiid he oso dunno how.
and dden our's relationshiip still continued.
ytd went to meet hiim at tiong,
been wiith hiim fer the whole niite.
iin the fiirst place ii realii enjoyed,
realii verii happii.
but wenever we talk abt aii kiim ii feel soo uneasy,
but ii kept askking hiim to treat her beta,
as hiis tiime outsiide left not much lerrs.
actually ii realii diisliike her,
can ever saiid as ii hate her.
but why am ii still doiin soo,
coz ii know he still love her.
ytd,
siince the moment ah boon brought her down to meet us.
ii realii feel verii xiinku,
realii sufferiing.
wen ii saw her,
moii mood realii bad to the core,
dden jus after not long siince she came down,
she piicked upp a quarrel wiith alviin,
ii help her upp,
and askk alvin to go
n nt to angry.
kept avoiidiing anii close contact wiith alvin.
but she keep do alot of thiing to spoilt moii mood,
ii kept toralate her,
kept silent.
she talk to miie,
iindeed ii dubb realii dubb feel liike answeriing her,
but ii still force moiiself to ans.
alreadii verii got manner to her liiao.
plus ii dubb wan ah boon n alvin iin diifficult position.
but she even sniff glue iinfront of miie.
all tiis abt drug dde thiing iishx ii hate alot dde lorrs.
wat siia.
moii patience had iit's liimiit dde lorrs.
haiis.
manii tiimes ii realii feel liike jus go off lorrs.
haiis.
although ii realii hate her lots,
but ii still choose avoiid close contact wiith alvin
coz afterall ii realii understand tiis kiind of feeliing
wen euu saw the one euu still love deeply,
soo close wiith another giirl.
iit's rather hurtiing n heart paiin.
coz ii had bbeen thru all tiis before.
ii know how paiin iit's iishx.
tiis oso the reason why ii askk alviin to treat her niicer.
coz always quarrel wiith the one tat once treated euu verii niice,
and the one tat euu loved soo much
iishx oso verii paiin.
sumtiime ii do piity her,
coz actually lots of thiing we realii seem aliike.
once there sumone loved n care fer us soo much,
but we dunno how to treasure,
onlii wen he's gonex,
we started to regret n suffer frm all those sadness,
dropped uncountable tears
n hope he would cum back to euu
but heard hiim telliing euu tat iit's all too late.
and lefted us alone wiith endless waiitiing, sadness, misses
n uncountable tears.
but sumhow ii realii more lucky dden her
as miie n xiiangho not as bad as she n alviin,
as lease we still keep iin contact n we are still iin the relatiionshiip of darliing.
but they dubb even look liike frenz lorrs.
but sum way she iishx luckier dden miie,
as there once she had ever get a chance to step iinto a relationshiip wiith alviin,
but ii had nvr get tiis chance wiith xiiangho.
overall ii realii hate her,
but ii know tiis kiind of sadness iishx realii unbearable
n will realii get ppl to gonex crazy.
ii jus hope to reduce the hurt tat will briing to her.
as all along ii nvr thiink of fiightiing aniithiing wiith her at all arx.
iif those thiing iin the past nvr happened,
actually miie n her can bbe frenz dde larrs.
but now forget iit bba.

dden after tat we went over to coffee shop,
coz alviin frenz askking over fer driinkiing.
after a few cup of beer,
alviin mood suddenly realii changed.
he becum like verii down.
ii know he iishx thiinkiing abt hiis case.
seeiing hiim liike tat,
ii realii heart paiin lorrs.
ii almost criied out,
but ii know ii cant drop a tears iinfront of hiim at tat moment,
tiis will onlii cause hiim more sad, down n stress.
ii kept bear wiith iit
n try to force moiiself to smile iinfront of hiim.
kept holdiing on to hiis hand.
ii dubb wiish talk much,
jus hope to shown hiim bby moii actiion
tat no matter wat iim always there fer hiim,
hope tat he dubb thiink too much.
hope he could understand moii meaniing bba..
but oso at tat moment,
ii fiinally know the ans to the question ii askk hiim.
bby hiis actiion n everythiing,
ii get the ans.
all along he saiid tat he dunno.
now ii could tell hiim the ans.
the one he realii love iishx still aii kiim.
all hiis actiion proviing to miie lerrs.
haiis.
ytd at the coffee shop.
ii realii bear moii tears till ii wanna crazy lorrs.
dden ii deciided to go fiirst,
coz ii afraiid ii will burst iinto tears.

goiin thru soo manii upp n down recently,
make miie always look back to the past.
thiink alot.
haiis.
manii words to saiid to both alviin n xiiangho.
jus let miie saiid iit here bba.
coz ii realii dunno how to saiid iin face to face larrs.
ii dunno will they stand a chance to c tiis.
but iit's ok larrs.
let fate deciide bba.

ALVIN CHUA
siince the day ii deciide to bbe wiith euu,
ii nvr expect euu to giive miie aniithiing.
the endiing ii alreadii expected dde.
ii had nvr blame euu.
so pls dubb ever saiid sorrii to miie agaiin lerrs.
ii dubb niid anii sorrii.
iin love no riight or wrong,
ii had nvr regret bbe wiith euu before.
ii know long ago tat tiis relatiionshiip wun last due to ur's case.
but ii still deciide to bbe wiith euu
coz ii had nvr askk fer forever,
ii dubb believe iin wat eternity or wat everlastiing love.
ii go bby moii feeliing,
love who dden bbe wiith who.
wun go thiink of wat euu could giive miie,
will iit have a gud endiing.
or wat so ever.
ii onlii hope to happily tog wiith euu fer tiis periiod of tiime.
leave sum sweet n happii memoriies fer us to memorize.
by the way,
all along thanks fer ur's understandiing,
all along ii had nvr loved euu wholeheartly,
all along iin moii heart he still exiist,
but euu had nvr ever quarrel wiith miie over tiis,
euu dubb ever miind tat ii went to meet hiim n stay iin contact wiith hiim.
iif realii wanna saiid sorrii,
ii oso niid to saiid sorrii to euu.
although all along ii still love hiim,
he still the one ii love the most,
doesnt mean ii nvr love euu at all,
ii love euu too.
euu oso iimp to miie.
euu oso realii a verii gud bf
i'll nvr forget euu dde
wen euu are iinsiide,
ii promiise ii will wriite letter to euu often dde.
and as euu saiid ytd,
wen euu cum out dden saiid bba.
let fate deciide fer us.
dubb niid worry fer miie too,
euu know dde.
ii can take verii gud care of moiiself.
plus ii still got moii siista they all to take care fer miie arx.
aniiway,
realii thanks fer the happii memoriies tat euu had gave miie,
i'll always kept iinsiide moii heart n nvr forget dde.
take care.
ii love euu dear.
and lastly,
treat her niicer iin ur's remaiiniing days,
iit's truth tat sumtiime she realii get kiinda bad temper n kiinda overboard,
but overall she still love euu n euu still love her.
she miight bbe realii overboard iin the past,
tat she diid too manii thiing unfaithful to euu n realii hurt euu lots,
but euu left not much tiime outsiide,
jus try to forgiive n forget,
sumtiime jus toralate abiit lorrs.
aniiway iin the past euu oso toralate her before arx.
treasure the tiime wiith her,
at lease iin the future euu wun had anii regret.
and
ii had alreadii know the ans fer the questiion lerrs.
but deciisiion still giive euu deciide bba.
now wanna break or wan continue till the day euu sentence.
ii aniithiing dde.
let miie know wen euu got the ans.

LENG XIANG HO,
bbeen always thiink back of the every moment wiith euu iin the past,
now dden ii realiise,
wen thiink of the all memoriies wiith the one tat euu dubb wiish to lose iit
but had alreadii gonex frm ur liife n seem liike nvr gotta cum back to euu,
even the memoriies tat we quarrel iin the past oso seem to bbe soo beautiful,
although iit's realii damn hurt at tat tiime.
everytiime wen ii went back to geylang
or to those place tat we had ever been there tog,
wen ii heard the song tat euu love
or song tat had memoriies,
wen see the foto we had taken tog,
n wenever ii saw the riing n liighter,
iit's will always let miie recall of euu.
sumtiime ii was realii so silly n thiinkiing,
iishx there sumthiing
or sumwhere will ever make euu recall of miie.
everythiing we had ever went thru,
do euu still realii rem?
and oso been thiinkiing,
iif one day ii wiith sum other guy n wen euu find out tat not realii as euu thiink
tat iim verii happii wiith moii liife wiith tat guy,
and iindeed iim sufferiing,
will euu ever once had tat thiinkiing of tat
euu would rather miie bbeiing wiith euu,
at lease ii will bbe more happiler
fer maybb jus tat one second.
hahas.
real stupiid thiinkiing of all tiis riite.
realii liike a iidiiot.
even until now,
everytiime ii feel sad,
the fiirst one ii thiink of iishx still euu.
onlii hope to call euu n talk to euu.
always thiinkiing,
iin tiis half year tiimes,
iif there no euu,
ii dunno how ii will bbe liike.
how iim goiin to go thru all the upp n down.
haiis.
ii still feel verii regret,
onlii wen ii had lose euu,
dden ii fiinally realiise,
iit's can actually bbe soo paiin missiing n waiitiing fer a person
sumtiime wen iim alone iin the sleepless niite,
thiinkiing of euu.
ii will still criied.
wen euu askk miie out
ii will realii feel verii happii,
tat kiind of happiiness can last moii smile fer the whole day.
wen euu called,
although everytiime we will always argue,
but ii still feel happii,
coz frm the past till now
we used to always argue arx,
realii liike briingiing miie back to the past.
wen euu msg,
tell miie not to msg or call euu.
ii know euu must bbe meetiing giirl agaiin,
ii realii feel verii down,
verii unhappii.
but realii had no riight to angry wiith euu or saiid aniithiing,
but the jealousy realii make miie out of control
and always liike to tell euu wat
go fiind ur giirl lorrs,
wat soo ever.
all tiis nonsense larrs.
all tiis periiod of tiime,
ii bbeen tryiing verii hard to forget euu,
ii triied not to contact euu soo much,
triied not to talk abt the stuff tat related to euu.
but ii always cant control n called or msg euu,
and always will suddenly talk abt euu.
realii cant forget euu at all,
still love euu much.
manii ppl told miie,
iit's easy to forget a person,
but iit's jus depend on wheather euu wan or not.
perhaps ii realii dubb wiish to forget euu bba.
but ii had nvr forget wat euu had told miie on the day wen euu know ii tog wiith alviin lerrs.
soo ii nvr hold on to anii hope now lerrs.
iif euu realii meet a gud giirl do treasure n treat her gud,
dubb always happii happii dden msg them,
arbo dubb ever ans or replies theiir call n msg larrs.
euu miight seem verii flirt,
miight seem liike not a verii gud bf,
iishx liike those wun care abt gf dde.
but ii know iif euu realii love a person,
euu will actually a verii verii gud bf,
as long as the giirl iishx a gud wan,
reasonable dde n most iimp will giive euu face outsiide,
euu will sure love, care n dote her alot dde.
euu realii a verii gud guy.
bbeen always thiinkiing why last tiime ii was soo stupiid dunno how to treasure euu,
iif not euu will bbe miine now.
hahas.
kiiddiing larrs.
all along iin the past,
euu saiid euu dubb wanna go fiind a new gf coz euu dubb wan to hurt miie.
thanks soo much.
but now dubb niid to care abt moii feeliing lerrs larrs,
go fiind ur's happiiness,
fiind a gud giirl,
iit's truth ii will still get verii hurt,
verii sad iif one day ii heard tat euu got new gf lerrs,
ii miight still cry.
but ii cant let euu stay on the spot fer sumone tat dunno how to treasure euu.
euu have to move on dde.
hahas.
erm. .
seem liike iit's too extra sayiing all tiis.
ii beliieve fer now euu oso not coz of cariing abt moii feeliing dden nvr fiind gf lerrs bba.
hahas.
liike gettiing abiit too bhb.
thiinkiing too much lerrs.
hahas.
but aniiway,
realii hope there sumone could help miie realii take gud care of euu larrs.
hope euu will always stay happii.
iif realii got new gf must let miie know k?
hahas.
dubb worry,
iif realii feel sad,
wanna cry,
oso wun cry iinfront of euu dde.
hahas.
aniiway,
thanks fer lettiing miie c tat euu still weariing the riing,
wen ii went down on sat.
to euu miight meant nothiing.
to miie iit's soo meaniingful.
hahas.
keep iin contact!
take gud care moii cute n lovely darliing.
free dden meet euu out bba.

memoriise was always so beautiful.
all the memoriies wiith both of euu iishx so memorable.
ii will nvr forget tat the both of euu had once cum across moii liife,
brighten upp moii liife,
brought joys n laughter to moii liife
n showered miie wiith loves n cares.

That's When I Y0u

8:17 PM

Saturday, July 21, 2007

iin one day, alviin could do two thiing tat realii break moii heart.
fiirst, he break hiis promiise.
sec, he play back drug.
he promiised miie tat he wun play back drug agaiin but now?
all iishx jus liie lorrs.
ii shouldnt had belief iin promiises agaiin.
ii should had realiise tat promiises are all rubbiish long tiime ago.
promiises are always nonsense.
ii shouldnt had belief iin love, iin relationshiip n iin guys.
all iishx jus a liie.
fall iin love n get iinto relatiionshiip dden end upp briing myself sadness n unhappiiness.
wat a stupiid thiing siia.

haiis.
he break wat other promiise maybb ii oso can jus easily forgive n forget.
but why must he do the thiing ii hated the most.
tat cant bbe forgiive n forget easily dde?
haiis.
iim not sad nor angry.
but iim diisappointed.
tryiing to belief iin promiises once agaiin.
but end upp iit's still disappoint miie iin the same way.

That's When I Y0u

3:43 PM

Thursday, July 19, 2007

ytd went over to tiong at around 9 plus to meet moii alvin n ah boon.
been tog wiith them fer two days lerrs.
realii verii happii wiith hiim.
enjoyed every moment wiith hiim.
but dunno why,
ytd suddenly ii got lotsa of thiing iin moii miind,
thiink back all of the past.
included eddy n xiiangho.
n oso thiing between miie n alviin.
ii shocked tat,
wen ii thiinkiing of all the past,
alviin came n askked miie,
wat am ii thiinkiing abt?
thiinkiing abt the past huh?
even ii deny,
but he jus seem liike seeiing thru moii heart n moii miind.
today was hiis court day,
wake upp verii early fer hiis court,
hopefully,
iit's beiing postponed.
but straight after the court,
he was being bring back to tanglin bby hiis io.
fer takiing statement.
as fer miie,
went over to tiong wiith ah boon they all,
had moii lunch over there.
slack awhile at there.
dden he called,
askk miie out fer a moviie at ps.
he wanted to watch transformer,
but the show started at 3.40pm,
and by the time we reached iishx onlii 1 plus.
dden peii hiim go archard play game.
verii funnii lorrs,
he was liike feel losiing lorrs.
and today,
he told miie sumthiing,
tat make miie laugh non stop lorrs.
he saiid he know how to play piano.
still know how to play huang hun.
dden ii askk hiim,
hiis huang hun iishx tat kiind of can play till all the glasses break dde arx?
after the show,
wen we on our's way walkiing out of ps.
he showed miie a msg,
iishx a msg frm a giirl.
sayiing tat she dunno why he always happii happii dden call or msg hiim,
arbo nv even wan to piick upp her call or reply her msg.
ii dunno why he wanna show miie tat,
but ii oso dunno why ii will poped out a sentence liike tiis.
" aiiyo, treat giirl beta larrs. dubb always liike tat "
perhaps tiis was oso wat ii had gone thru iin the past.
but ii can actually consiider as the most lucky wan bba.
coz most of the tiime ii called or msg hiim he oso got ans or reply,
dden sumtiime he bo liiao still will call miie to argue
or
jus to wake miie upp.
hahas.
after tat went down to geylang wiith hiim to look fer ah kiat.
almost whole day wiith hiim.
today realii enjoyed moiiself wiith hiim.
everythiing n every moment today,
was moii biiggest wiish iin the past.
wiithiin tiis one month plus tiimes,
thiink today was the day he treated miie most gud bba.

ii called yiing,
ii told her,
ii verii fan lorrs.
haiis.
last tiime dubb wanna grant moii wiish,
onlii until ii wiith other lerrs,
dden moii wiish iin the past granted one bby one.
last tiime iim soo regret,
try moii best to mend back everythiing,
but he jus seem to fuck care abt miie.
dden kept pushiing miie away,
askk miie go fiind new wan.
haiis.
dden suddenly today treated miie soo gud.
iif nvr meet hiim today,
ii would had tot tat ii had totally forgotten hiim,
but wen today wiith hiim,
the feeliing wiith hiim iishx still the same.
still haven forget hiim at all lorrs.
dden yiing saiid.
" dubb wan alvin larrs, wan mummii larrs. "
ii was diiao.
talk to her will vomiit blood dde siia.
dden ii tell her lorrs.
ii dubb thiink miie n hiim still possiible,
iif realii still possiible,
long tiime ago alreadii tog lerrs.
maybb today he treat miie gud,
jus as a normal frenz dde gud bba.
maybb now he oso got new gf or got sumone he love dde liiao lehhs.
plus once he saiid before dde.
siince the day miie wiith alviin,
even iif ii break wiith alvin lerrs,
how gud ii treat hiim
or how much ii love hiim
we oso wun ever bbe tog lerrs.
ii nvr hold anii hope tat we will bbe tog lerrs.

both of the one ii love,
both oso treated miie soo gud.
haiis.
wat should ii do.

am ii gettiing beta iin tiis kiind of liifestyle?
am ii realii liviing happiily now?
iif tat soo,
why am moii smile still look soo fake?
why am ii still stayiing iin the memoriies of the past?
afterall,
ii had nv moved on before.

That's When I Y0u

12:12 PM

Monday, July 16, 2007

today went over ciine to meet marcus to catch a movie at evening tiime,
watch harry potter.
bored till death!
iisnt moii type of show.
after tat go n have our's sushii diinner,
yummy!!
around 9 plus at fiirst goiin to lollipop to meet up wiith yong wei they all,
but suddenly alvin msg miie,
askking miie over to kiim seng n look fer hiim,
dden marcus accompany miie to take cab over to kiim seng plaza.
meet upp wiith alvin n ah boon there,
shocked to c tiing's ex bf allen there wiith alvin n ahboon.
omg!
they know each other wors,
plus alvin last few days missiing was at hiis house lorrs.
hahas.
the world iishx soo small.
after their pool session,
we went over to chinatown,
ii go over to lollipop to paiid a viisit to iirene n vivi they all.
but stay fer awhile onlii,
dden went off to accompany moii lovely bf alvin.
stay till around 3 plus dden ii went home lerrs.
wen ii jus reached home,
da boii called,
askk miie out to 163 fer driinkiing.
agaiin,
we drank beer,
sux lorrs.
no choice but to entertain them.
till morniing 8 plus dden iim able to bbe released home bby them.

today can called iit as a happii day fer miie.
ii enjoyed the every moment wiith hiim.

within tiis few days,
ii found out lotsa of thiing abt aii kiim tiis giirl,
she used to pretend as sumone who in the same lock upp wiith alvin,
and was alvin's best frenz,
passiing a soo called msg frm alvin.
tat day wen police went upp to alvin house on friday,
actually iishx she the one who called hiim,
but she claimed tat was alvin the one who called her upp.
ii realii cant understand wat the purpose fer her to do all tiis kiinda stuff.
alvin told miie,
he just scolded hiim few day ago.
feel quiite happii,
but diid piity her oso.
but sumtiime ii do envy her,
coz at lease she could have last a long term relationship with alvin,
wen they are still tog,
almost everyday they meet upp wiith each other.
spend most of the tiime tog.
but aniiway,
even our's relationshiip was jus a short term wan,
but no matter wat will happen iin the future,
ii will nv regret makiing a deciision of startiing a relationship wiith hiim.
although we cant last,
but at lease once he had brought love n care to miie.
sumhow brighten a part of moii liife.
although we couldnt always bbe tog,
but at lease there's still sum memoriies we both shared,
those memoriies wiith laughter n happiiness was the best present he gave miie.
everythiing iishx soo memorable.

no matter wat happen, wher ii am, who ii wiith.
ii will nv forget,
there's hiim had once cumiing across moii liife.
he miight jus bbe a passerby,
but at lease there's once we had loved each other soo truely.

dubb matter abt forever,
wat matter most was
euu did had iit once.

不在乎天长地久,
只在乎噌经拥有。

That's When I Y0u

8:03 PM

Sunday, July 15, 2007

agaiin a sleepless niite fer miie, haiis. recently always cant get to slp. even slp lerrs oso few hours onlii. even iif iim awake lerrs, but jus dubb wiish to respond to anii call nor anii sms. feel iit kiinda iirratatiing. onlii will respond to sum ppls call n sms. eg. moii bf, hiim n moii siista!!
haiis. suddenly he was like missiing agaiin, the last call ii receiive frm hiim was ytd niite around 1 plus askkiing miie wat tiime ii goiin to knock off frm work dden ii saiid not sure yet. ii knock off will contact hiim thru ah boon but he saiid he dunno lata still got wiith boon or not. dden he saiid he will contact miie but end upp oso nv all the way until now still no news frm hiim. haiis.
ytd eveniing aii kiim called miie telliing miie the police go upp to hiis house to escort hiim back to tanglin fer report. haiis. dden she askk miie not to tell hiim tat she told miie tiis iif not next tiime they tell her aniithiing she oso wun tell miie lerrs.
haiis. after ii heard tat ii was soo worry n angry lorrs. now he, alvin chua's gf iishx miie lehhs, not aii kiim lehhs, but when sumthiing happened to hiim the one he called iishx her but not miie. dden wen she called, her's attitude was jus liike showiing off wiith miie lorrs. more n more thiing seem liike proviing to miie the one he still love n loved the most iishx still her lorrs. iishx tat was the case dden he can go back to her, dubb waste aniione tiime lerrs coz liike tat iishx realii verii poiintless tog lorrs.
tat moment ii was realii verii angry but wen suddenly moii fone rang, private num. dden ii ans n heard hiis voiice dden telliing miie wat happened to hiim dden all moii anger gonex. haiis. been always liike tat damn soft hearted no matter to hiim or to alvin. althrough, iim not angry lerrs, but still feel damn bad lorrs.
and one more thiing was he always saiid meet end upp oso nv dde. haiis. dden after tat will suddenly gonex miissiing fer one or two day. haiis.
ii realii verii tiired, ii thiink iishx realii the tiime fer miie to seriously thiink abt our's relationship, should continue or should ii ended or should ii accompany hiim fer hiis remaiiniing days?

honestly, been thru tiis two week iin a relatiionshiip wiith alviin, realii see thru alot n realised the best one was still hiim. no1 can realii ever giive miie the feeliing tat he gave miie, no1 can realii ever treat miie as gud as he diid. no matter iin the past or now, he seem liike to bbe the onlii guy tat can treat miie soo gud, n gave miie tat speciial feeliing, make miie falled soo deeply fer hiim lorrs. but everythiing iishx too late larrs.

That's When I Y0u

9:32 AM

Friday, July 13, 2007

quite a few day nv update blog lerrs, been busy workiing. haiis. tiis few day full of happiiness n sadness. mood lot of upp n down. haiis.

tuesday, after work went to bugiis n meet hiim. dden after eatiing we went to mustafa. dden to hiis house nearby dde block downstaiir chiit chat. everythiing realii let miie thiink of alot of thiing iin the past wher we used to do all tiis iin the past. ii had nv expect tat we will bbe liike tiis agaiin. ii tot forever iin moii liife there we wun bbe goiin out agaiin liike thiis lerrs. iim soo happii tat niite.

tiis two day feeliing liike fuck larrs. haiis.

wednesday, saiid ii after work he will call miie but end upp never, forget iit. aniiway tat day ii oso verii tiired, ii fell aslp verii fast tat niite.

dden wednesday afternoon, he told miie wanna go out tog on thursday. but thursday ii waiited fer the whole day jus fer hiis call, but end upp no call at all. nv even online iin msn. happii fer nothiing. end upp whole day sleepiing at home. haiis. realii feel diisappointed n down.

haiis. realii dunno how to express moii feeliing now. haiis. verii tiired. ii realii tiired over all tiis feel realii verii xiinku. ii realii dunno wat to do.

iishx iit ii had nv been iin a relationshiip fer too long, and now ii alreadii dunno how to handle a relationshiip lerrs. or we actually jus dubb meant to bbe tog? haiis. sharon askk miie to told hiim how ii feel. but ii dubb wiish to add on to hiis pressure, make miie more stress n unhappii, coz ii know he alreadii coz of hiis case dde thiing verii uphappii n stress lerrs. soo haiis. ii rather keep iit to moiiself.

tiis two guy gotta get miie iinto crazy one day dde. haiis. realii sufferiing siia. yiing told miie she still felt tat her mummii treat miie beta dden alviin. but iindeed, actually iin manii way, xiangho realii treat miie beta dden alviin. but iin sum few way, alviin treat miie beta dden hiim.

haiis. wanna crazy lerrs larrs. wo hao xiin ku arx. who can save miie? who can teach miie wat to do?

recently, ii liike crazy lorrs, no matter how tiired ii am ii jus onlii can slp a few hours dden will auto wake upp liiao dden after tat cannot slp back lerrs. haiis. dunno wat iishx happeniing, sharon say ii too stress lerrs. maybb bba.

aniione can teach miie wat to do? haiis. wo hao xiin ku arx.

That's When I Y0u

10:11 AM

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

today jus slp fer 1 hour dden went to tiong bahru plaza to meet sharon n ah boon dden went to sub court to bail alvin out. haiis. dden end upp must wait till 4pm. dden we went back to tiong bahru plaza to accompany sharon go find job. hahas. hopefully she found a job ytd at tiong dde shoe shop as a sales assistance.
after tat iit's still early, dden we went fer a lunch. we went to restuartant. coz ii wanna eat xiiao rong bao. hahas. but the food there iishx super awful lorrs. the xiiao rong bao there oso not niice at all dde.
xiiao rong bao make miie thiink of hiim. so lame iin the past lorrs.
erm. dden aii kiim cum down, nv realii wanna talk to her, wen she talk to miie dden ii replies lorrs. tat all. coz honestly ii still quiite angry wiith her, but ii dubb wan to cause ah boon iin a diifficult position plus at tat moment ii jus worry abt alviin, jus worry weather can he bbe bail out anot.
4pm we reach sub court and dden hopefully he can bbe bail out. fiinally realii fang xiin lerrs. wen saw hiim walkiing upp the staiir iim soo happii, tiiredness seem to had gonex completely.
but tiis iishx oso wen moii angryness, jealousy, worriies n unhappiiness started.
haiis. wen he cum out, didnt expect tat hiis fiirst word was not talkiing to miie. all along he jus walk super fast iinfront. haiis. nv realii bother abt miie. seeiing hiim talkiing to aii kiim ii was realii jealous, wanderiing who iishx realii hiis gf?? haiis. dden after still tell miie coz sumone shoot alots of hiis thiing out, he wanna go fiind hiim.
ii realii verii angry, he jus get to bail out dden he wan cause trouble agaiin, as iif liike he beaten hiim upp lerrs dden the judge will drop one or two of hiis case. no wat. but iif tat person go shoot out agaiin, he will tiio more case lorrs. plus he iishx now on bail lehhs. he cant tiio anii case liiao lorrs.
dden he know ii angry lerrs, oso nv realii cum talk to miie, all along talk damn fast. even ii jus go off liike tiis he oso nv even bother. not even a call or sms siia. onlii aii kiim gave miie a call askkiing where am ii. haiis.
frm the fiirst place, wen ah boon told miie alviin askk hiim to take care of aii kiim ii alreadii verii jealous lerrs, but ii kept quiet. dden plus he cum out liiao all along do hiis own thiingy, nv realii bother abt miie much, more angry liiao, still kept quiiet dden heard hiim wanna fiind trouble agaiin, kaoz. realii buey tahan liiao dden he oso nv realii care, dden frm ii on the way home till ii reach home dden to ii slp dden to ii wake upp.
ii expect ii will receive a call or a sms hiim frm hiim but no lorrs. jus at msn told miie sorrii coz he too happii seeiing all of us wait fer hiim to cum out, dden he know iim angry but he too happii liiao. sorrii.
haiis. realii wanderiing am ii realii hiis gf siia. liike totally stand no place iin hiis heart larrs. super angry lorrs. iif ii know will end upp liike tiis, ii will surely not go dde, miight as well at home slp dubb niid tiired moiiself. wen he iinsiide, worry fer hiim soo much lorrs, miiz hiim soo much lorrs. dden still must accept aii kiim they all giive miie dde pressure n stress, dden still must liisten to those awful word n fuckiing attitude tat aii kiim had saiid n gave. ii oso nv saiid aniithiing lorrs. haiis.
iif he wan liike tat askk hiim go fiind back hiis aii kiim larrs. super super super angry larrs. aniiway heard tat aii kiim liike still liike hiim mahhs. ARRGHS!!!!!!!!!!!

dunno why wen iim soo angry, ii thiink back of sumthiing iin the past. wen tat time he kana caught, he called miie straight wen he get out, dden straiight away meet miie lerrs. at cab know ii worry n angry, still will sayang miie n hong miie lorrs.
last tiime wiith hiim wen ii super angry, he will dunno called miie how manii tiime n send how manii msg to saiid sorrii to miie, dden will hong miie dde. everytiime goiin out wiith hiim he will nv leave miie alone even until now.
sorrii. iim not tryiing to compare the both of them. jus suddenly thiink of the thiing wiith hiim iin the past.
but he today oso make miie super angry.
angry + angry = blurst + crazy!!!
wake upp saw hiis msg, agaiin the same. dubb msg or call till tml. thank. dubb niid reply!!
wtf. he happii he call miie, msg miie dden meet giirl liiao askk miie dubb call or msg hiim. treat miie as wat siia? fuck larrs. forever wun contact hiim liiao larrs. lata dunno wen he will bbe wiith giirl agaiin siia. waiit he call dden ii ans lorrs, he msg dden ii reply lorrs. arrghs.

That's When I Y0u

7:41 AM

Sunday, July 08, 2007

within a day, moii life was full wiith tears, laughter, happiness, sadness. so mani thing happen, went to lollipop n work, feel so tired, so boring.
den albert call asking miie go over to help, coz short of waitress. after moii dinner, find a excuse n went over to 8teen. ii smile wen ii work there, ii find iit more confortable n enjoyable workiing at studio 8teen.
drink till so high. den stay back till 6 plus with albert. chiit chatting. dden back to panjang & meet ying fer breakfast, went to mac.
dden alvin ex gf called, askking miie weather am ii goiin down to alviin court. ii told her no due to sumthiing on. dden we quarrel over the fone, ii was soo angry. ii dunno why moii tears jus scroll down moii cheek suddenly. OMG! ii criied, why am ii cryiing? coz iim too angry or ii realii miiz hiim n worry abt hiim?
ii realii hope to c hiim, but other dden ii got sumthiing on, iim afraiid tat ii saw hiim iin the court, dden realii sentence bby tat day, wat should ii do? iim afraiid ii will cry. but ii know he wouldnt wan to c miie cryiing. he wouldnt wan to c miie sad.

iif iim gotta saiid he get caught ii got no much feeling, saiid ii wun worry, wun miiz miie, wun wan to c hiim iishx all a liie to moiiself n other larrs.
yup, although until now, ii still cant put hiim down, ii still love hiim. but iif sumone gotta askk miie do ii love alviin, iif ii replies no, the ans will sure bbe jus a liie.
iif ii dubb love hiim at all, ii wun bbe wiith hiim at all. thiis few day, realii iin a bad mood, realii miiz hiim alot, realii verii worry fer hiim, almost everyniite oso driink till verii hiigh.
wen today, he told miie he beaten sumone upp at bugiis, dunno why, ii feel realii scare. iim realii soo afraiid tat aniithiing will happen to hiim, tiis kiind of feeliing had nv cum to miie before dde. the two ppls ii love now, alviin n xiiangho.
alviin alreadii beiing caught lerrs, ii dubb hope aniithiing will happen to hiim oso. tiis kiind of feeliing ii realii dunno how to descriipt, verii helpless, verii scare.

feel real angry, feel alviin ex look more liike alviin gf dden ii do. she speak louder dden miie, she know hiim more well dden miie, she ever get to know hiis mum n siista all tiis, wen alvin iin trouble she seem to bbe more worry dden ii do. maybb she still love alvin? haiis. iif tat soo hope alviin n her can get back tog bba coz ii know iin alvin heart there still her. he still love her more dden he love miie. jus liike ii love hiim more dden alvin.

after hiis court, dden waiit sharon they all cum down bill hiim alreadii too late lerrs, after the tiime, soo must wait till monday, haiis. iim goiin on monday fer sure but ii jus realii dubb wiish to c hiis ex. lata alviin cum out lerrs, dden wiith miie n hiis ex. oso dunno how ii should react lorrs. plus ii realii diisliike hiis ex alot. aiiyo. jus dubb liike tiis kiind of feeliing larrs.

after tat, went down to look fer hiim n ah kiiat, verii happii, but diidnt realii talk to hiim, coz bby tat tiime ii alreadii verii tiired n feel verii unwell lerrs. after awhile dden go back home lerrs.
ii realii oso miiz hiim alot recently. but recently, the relatiionshiip wiith hiim realii not tat gud lerrs. jealousy iishx goiin to driive miie to death liiao, coz recently he always went out n meet giirls, feel soo angry n soo jealous. seem liike he had alreadii forgotten there still miie tiis darliing liiao siia.
wen the moment ii saw hiim, moii feeliing soo complicated. jealous, angry, sad, happii. haiis. all along, ii had nv put hiim down at all, ii still love hiim as much as the past. ii had nv forgotten hiim at all, not even jus one sec.

看到你的那一刻，
才发现
原来我是那么的爱你，
从来就没有放下过你，
没有把你忘掉。

感觉一点都不像他的女朋友，
感觉好失败哦！
她好像比我还像他的女朋友。
好想念他，
好担心他。

是否应该帮他们重新在回一起？
他们好像比较适合对方。
我知道他还爱她，
心里还有他，
她好像也还爱着他。
haiis. . . .

That's When I Y0u

8:55 AM

Friday, July 06, 2007

been nv update moii blog fer 4 days lerrs, once ii told sumone before tat iif one day he diidnt c miie updatiing moii blog mean iim dead, but now iim still alive jus due to iim too busy wiith moii work. but aniiway, iim no diifferent frm dead. iin tiis 4 day too manii thiing happen, there happiiness, there sadness.
o2.o7.o7 [Monday]
woke upp at 3 plus n went down to moii workplace and get moii pay frm moii uncle. dden went to bugiis wiith yiing. went to biig biird fiirst, saw meii liing, yiixiin & jiiang sii there dden after they go off lerrs, we have our lunch there. dden went to village. SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING TIME!!!! dden spend around 200 bucks. dden after tat went to lollipop. WORK TIME!!! but iishx rather quiiet dden closed earliier, and ii went to studio 8teen. INTERVIEW TIME!!! dden after tat alvert [ studio 8teen boss ] sent miie back home. end of moii day dden.

o3.o7.o7 [ Tuesday ]
woke upp at 12 plus dden went down to ciine to meet dennis dden went to catch a movie [ 13 GAME OF DEATH ], iit's a thaii show, iit's rather lame & funnii, but jus not scary at all. iisnt liike the name soo scary lorrs.
after the show, went to yoshinoya to had our's lunch, dden waiit fer yong weii to come down. dden went to heeren dden to plaza siingapura dden lollipop.
erm. . went out wiith denniis iishx fun wors, he a joker lorrs. been laughiing non-stop fer the whole day. hahas.
saw quite a lot of ppl iin a day, saw xueliing at ciine, dden saw xiiao liing [ moii real dasao(ex) ] at plaza siing dde miinii toons, and liincoln at plaza siingapura dde archard.
here cum the unhappiiness part of the day,
went to lollipop, feel soo tiired, soo cold but both of the waiitress tat day was not workiing at all, dden iirene was soo drunk, viivii was soo angry n busy handle bar counter n outsiide.
ii helped out, but end upp was liike becumiing ii fiiniish all the job wen iim not on duty. feel soo pek chye, dden after tat one of the ex waiitress [ sandra ] was soo drunk and came over here. dden the 3D [ drink drank drunk ] dunno manager or boss came over lollipop to cause trouble, had a fiight. dden all went outsiide of lollipop dden ii alone niid help them handle the whole lollipop. plus the fiight even more pekchye.
dden after lollipop iishx closed, dden stay back to helped out to pack the stuff dden one of the guy frm 3D came back to fiind trouble agaiin, he even beaten iirene. haiis. after everythiing dden dennis sent miie home. end of moii day dden.

o4.o7.o7 [ Wednesday ]
workiing at lollipop agaiin, nothiing speciial happen, after work went home and slp. tat all.

o5.o7.o6 [ Thursday ]
workiing agaiin but at STUDIO 8TEEN fer today, fiirst day. quiite fun. everyone there iishx soo niice. love workiing at there. love the ppls there. dden one of their regular customer [ samuel ] brought miie to had our's supper at east coast dden went to seasiide.
haiis. a best place fer miie today. rather bad mood. ii wear a smile mask iinfront of samuel but moii mood jus soo down. haiis.
ah boon called miie today telliing miie tat moii dear dear today get caught. haiis. ii blank lorrs. dunno wat to do. iit's shouldn't bbe soo fast lorrs, we saiid hao liiao one month dde. now jus tog 8 days onlii. everythiing cum n gonex soo sudden. we started iin a sudden now ended iin a sudden. haiis. ii realii miiz hiim n realii worry fer hiim soo much. ii rather hope all tiis iishx jus a joke frm ah boon they all. haiis.
dden ii msg hiim n tell hiim, saw hiim reply, ii expect he will at lease lii siiao miie to cheer miie abiit upp. but wat ii saw was, he dubb even care. he reply wat, please dubb call or msg hiim, wiith gals. tml he will call miie. thanks. dubb niid reply. haiis.
feel even more fuckiing bad mood lorrs. recently we alreadii contact each other lesser n lesser lerrs. dden now he tryiing to show miie how much more iimp other giirl meant to her. haiis. fuckiing bad mood larrs. ii gotta gonex crazy.

That's When I Y0u

6:53 AM

Monday, July 02, 2007

everythiing seem to gonex smooth between miie n alviin. he told miie alot of hiis feeliing ytd niite. and told miie jus wan miie to bbe wiith hiim fer tiis month. haiis. he even told miie he wiish miie n xiiangho can get tog. wiish us all the best.
erm. iishx tiis still possiible? realii dunno. realii feel soo diifferent, realii not used to iit. haiis. seem liike the whole world onlii miie lefted over. ii seem liike all alone. haiis. till tiis miin, ii still cant put hiim down at all, not even abit. the love fer hiim still there, still missiing hiim alot now. haiis.
feel soo lost, realii dunno wat to do? been cryiing fer all those day. haiis. everyday wake upp heart still ache, still bleediing, tears still drop, sadness still surroundiing miie. haiis.
tml goiin down to take moii pay, c we got fate to meet a not lorrs. dden askked yiing along to go shopping, dden niite goiin back to lollipop to work lerrs.
liife seem to still go on the same, but days wiithout hiim seem liike sumthiing iishx miissiing, seem liike soo iimperfect.
ii hope tml moii mood will get beta coz iim afraiid iif moii mood iishx soo bad, ii will driink alot and iif ii driink alot ii confirm ii will sure cry verii badly dde.

sorrii, been kept typiing iin chiinese. coz got alot of thiing ii wanted type iin chiinese coz he dunno how to read mahhs.

思念的折磨，
让我的心不停的痛，
眼泪还是不停的掉下。
虽然我的生活还是跟平常一样的过下去，
可是在没有他的日子里，
我的生命仿拂好像少了一些东西，
好像一点也不完整。
承偌过要放弃，
但是我一点也做不到，
越想忘记他，
越忘不了，
越想忘记他，
我的心就越痛。

一只以来，
明知道爱上他是一个错，
可是却偏偏选择继续错下去，
不顾一切的爱下去。
千百次想要把他忘掉，
却始终一次都做不到。

只有他，
能为我黑暗的世界，
点燃一丝的光芒。
只有他，
才能让我露出我最真挚的笑容。

在某一个角落，
有个我每天为了已过去的爱情
而心痛掉泪，
每天真心祈祷，
期望和等待爱情回来的那一天。
好希望如果这段爱情真有回来的一天，
那将是我的真爱，
我的幸福，
我的一辈子，
我也会成为他的真爱，
他的幸福，
他的唯一，
我的一辈子，
从此不要再分开。

真的有可能发生吗？
我的祈祷上天真的听得到吗？
我的愿望真的会实现吗？

That's When I Y0u

12:48 AM