♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

iim soo down recently. haiis. too much problem fer miie to face n settle.
let start frm sat.
sat,
was oso a busy day fer miie.
after alviin play back drug dde matter.
moii mood was soo bad all along.
sat he nvr contact miie at all.
haiis.
tat two day driink alot.
but jus cant get to let moiiself drunk.
after work went to geylang n have moii supper wiith moii customer at 8teen.
dden went over to look fer darliing.
tot ii bbe happiiler iif ii see hiim,
but turned out to bbe worst.
coz wen ii was there,
ii thiink back of alot iin the past.
too much memoriies wiith hiim there.
dden thiink of our's relationship now iishx soo bad.
haiis.
at fiirst wanna waiit fer kiiat to cum down dde.
but waiit till 9 plus ii realii cnt stand iit lerrs.
dden go back home lorrs.
slp at around 10 plus.
but suddenly wake upp around 2 plus.
haiis.
now wenever ii stress moiiself upp too much,
ii cant get to slp long lerrs.
wen ii wake upp,
ii jus kept thiinkiing abt all the problem tat iim faciing now.
thiink of all the past.
thiink of xiiangho n alviin.
but triied verii hard to force moiiself to slp coz got to work at niite.
dubb wiish to hang over or get too tiired.
checked on moii friendster wen ii woke upp n fiind out he dropped a comment to miie.
sayiing he dubb wanna bbe selfiish all tiis.
coz he goiin iin lerrs.
dden ii repliies a comment to hiim too.
ii askked hiim to realii go n make clear
wat he realii wan n who he realii love.
n lastly ii told hiim to thiink abt our's relationshiip,
wanna go on or end here.
ii leave iit fer hiim to decide.
before he decide ii wan hiim to thiink clearly who he realii love.
wen ii reached home after work on sun niite.
he chatted wiith miie iin msn,
and told he got a ans lerrs.
he saiid both miie n aii kiim oso dubb wan
and dden we talk alot abt tiis matter.
but he still didnt giive miie the ans fer our's relationship dden ii askked hiim,
now we still tog or break lerrs.
he told miie tat he dunno,
dden ii askk hiim how,
dden he saiid he oso dunno how.
and dden our's relationshiip still continued.
ytd went to meet hiim at tiong,
been wiith hiim fer the whole niite.
iin the fiirst place ii realii enjoyed,
realii verii happii.
but wenever we talk abt aii kiim ii feel soo uneasy,
but ii kept askking hiim to treat her beta,
as hiis tiime outsiide left not much lerrs.
actually ii realii diisliike her,
can ever saiid as ii hate her.
but why am ii still doiin soo,
coz ii know he still love her.
ytd,
siince the moment ah boon brought her down to meet us.
ii realii feel verii xiinku,
realii sufferiing.
wen ii saw her,
moii mood realii bad to the core,
dden jus after not long siince she came down,
she piicked upp a quarrel wiith alviin,
ii help her upp,
and askk alvin to go
n nt to angry.
kept avoiidiing anii close contact wiith alvin.
but she keep do alot of thiing to spoilt moii mood,
ii kept toralate her,
kept silent.
she talk to miie,
iindeed ii dubb realii dubb feel liike answeriing her,
but ii still force moiiself to ans.
alreadii verii got manner to her liiao.
plus ii dubb wan ah boon n alvin iin diifficult position.
but she even sniff glue iinfront of miie.
all tiis abt drug dde thiing iishx ii hate alot dde lorrs.
wat siia.
moii patience had iit's liimiit dde lorrs.
haiis.
manii tiimes ii realii feel liike jus go off lorrs.
haiis.
although ii realii hate her lots,
but ii still choose avoiid close contact wiith alvin
coz afterall ii realii understand tiis kiind of feeliing
wen euu saw the one euu still love deeply,
soo close wiith another giirl.
iit's rather hurtiing n heart paiin.
coz ii had bbeen thru all tiis before.
ii know how paiin iit's iishx.
tiis oso the reason why ii askk alviin to treat her niicer.
coz always quarrel wiith the one tat once treated euu verii niice,
and the one tat euu loved soo much
iishx oso verii paiin.
sumtiime ii do piity her,
coz actually lots of thiing we realii seem aliike.
once there sumone loved n care fer us soo much,
but we dunno how to treasure,
onlii wen he's gonex,
we started to regret n suffer frm all those sadness,
dropped uncountable tears
n hope he would cum back to euu
but heard hiim telliing euu tat iit's all too late.
and lefted us alone wiith endless waiitiing, sadness, misses
n uncountable tears.
but sumhow ii realii more lucky dden her
as miie n xiiangho not as bad as she n alviin,
as lease we still keep iin contact n we are still iin the relatiionshiip of darliing.
but they dubb even look liike frenz lorrs.
but sum way she iishx luckier dden miie,
as there once she had ever get a chance to step iinto a relationshiip wiith alviin,
but ii had nvr get tiis chance wiith xiiangho.
overall ii realii hate her,
but ii know tiis kiind of sadness iishx realii unbearable
n will realii get ppl to gonex crazy.
ii jus hope to reduce the hurt tat will briing to her.
as all along ii nvr thiink of fiightiing aniithiing wiith her at all arx.
iif those thiing iin the past nvr happened,
actually miie n her can bbe frenz dde larrs.
but now forget iit bba.

dden after tat we went over to coffee shop,
coz alviin frenz askking over fer driinkiing.
after a few cup of beer,
alviin mood suddenly realii changed.
he becum like verii down.
ii know he iishx thiinkiing abt hiis case.
seeiing hiim liike tat,
ii realii heart paiin lorrs.
ii almost criied out,
but ii know ii cant drop a tears iinfront of hiim at tat moment,
tiis will onlii cause hiim more sad, down n stress.
ii kept bear wiith iit
n try to force moiiself to smile iinfront of hiim.
kept holdiing on to hiis hand.
ii dubb wiish talk much,
jus hope to shown hiim bby moii actiion
tat no matter wat iim always there fer hiim,
hope tat he dubb thiink too much.
hope he could understand moii meaniing bba..
but oso at tat moment,
ii fiinally know the ans to the question ii askk hiim.
bby hiis actiion n everythiing,
ii get the ans.
all along he saiid tat he dunno.
now ii could tell hiim the ans.
the one he realii love iishx still aii kiim.
all hiis actiion proviing to miie lerrs.
haiis.
ytd at the coffee shop.
ii realii bear moii tears till ii wanna crazy lorrs.
dden ii deciided to go fiirst,
coz ii afraiid ii will burst iinto tears.

goiin thru soo manii upp n down recently,
make miie always look back to the past.
thiink alot.
haiis.
manii words to saiid to both alviin n xiiangho.
jus let miie saiid iit here bba.
coz ii realii dunno how to saiid iin face to face larrs.
ii dunno will they stand a chance to c tiis.
but iit's ok larrs.
let fate deciide bba.

ALVIN CHUA
siince the day ii deciide to bbe wiith euu,
ii nvr expect euu to giive miie aniithiing.
the endiing ii alreadii expected dde.
ii had nvr blame euu.
so pls dubb ever saiid sorrii to miie agaiin lerrs.
ii dubb niid anii sorrii.
iin love no riight or wrong,
ii had nvr regret bbe wiith euu before.
ii know long ago tat tiis relatiionshiip wun last due to ur's case.
but ii still deciide to bbe wiith euu
coz ii had nvr askk fer forever,
ii dubb believe iin wat eternity or wat everlastiing love.
ii go bby moii feeliing,
love who dden bbe wiith who.
wun go thiink of wat euu could giive miie,
will iit have a gud endiing.
or wat so ever.
ii onlii hope to happily tog wiith euu fer tiis periiod of tiime.
leave sum sweet n happii memoriies fer us to memorize.
by the way,
all along thanks fer ur's understandiing,
all along ii had nvr loved euu wholeheartly,
all along iin moii heart he still exiist,
but euu had nvr ever quarrel wiith miie over tiis,
euu dubb ever miind tat ii went to meet hiim n stay iin contact wiith hiim.
iif realii wanna saiid sorrii,
ii oso niid to saiid sorrii to euu.
although all along ii still love hiim,
he still the one ii love the most,
doesnt mean ii nvr love euu at all,
ii love euu too.
euu oso iimp to miie.
euu oso realii a verii gud bf
i'll nvr forget euu dde
wen euu are iinsiide,
ii promiise ii will wriite letter to euu often dde.
and as euu saiid ytd,
wen euu cum out dden saiid bba.
let fate deciide fer us.
dubb niid worry fer miie too,
euu know dde.
ii can take verii gud care of moiiself.
plus ii still got moii siista they all to take care fer miie arx.
aniiway,
realii thanks fer the happii memoriies tat euu had gave miie,
i'll always kept iinsiide moii heart n nvr forget dde.
take care.
ii love euu dear.
and lastly,
treat her niicer iin ur's remaiiniing days,
iit's truth tat sumtiime she realii get kiinda bad temper n kiinda overboard,
but overall she still love euu n euu still love her.
she miight bbe realii overboard iin the past,
tat she diid too manii thiing unfaithful to euu n realii hurt euu lots,
but euu left not much tiime outsiide,
jus try to forgiive n forget,
sumtiime jus toralate abiit lorrs.
aniiway iin the past euu oso toralate her before arx.
treasure the tiime wiith her,
at lease iin the future euu wun had anii regret.
and
ii had alreadii know the ans fer the questiion lerrs.
but deciisiion still giive euu deciide bba.
now wanna break or wan continue till the day euu sentence.
ii aniithiing dde.
let miie know wen euu got the ans.

LENG XIANG HO,
bbeen always thiink back of the every moment wiith euu iin the past,
now dden ii realiise,
wen thiink of the all memoriies wiith the one tat euu dubb wiish to lose iit
but had alreadii gonex frm ur liife n seem liike nvr gotta cum back to euu,
even the memoriies tat we quarrel iin the past oso seem to bbe soo beautiful,
although iit's realii damn hurt at tat tiime.
everytiime wen ii went back to geylang
or to those place tat we had ever been there tog,
wen ii heard the song tat euu love
or song tat had memoriies,
wen see the foto we had taken tog,
n wenever ii saw the riing n liighter,
iit's will always let miie recall of euu.
sumtiime ii was realii so silly n thiinkiing,
iishx there sumthiing
or sumwhere will ever make euu recall of miie.
everythiing we had ever went thru,
do euu still realii rem?
and oso been thiinkiing,
iif one day ii wiith sum other guy n wen euu find out tat not realii as euu thiink
tat iim verii happii wiith moii liife wiith tat guy,
and iindeed iim sufferiing,
will euu ever once had tat thiinkiing of tat
euu would rather miie bbeiing wiith euu,
at lease ii will bbe more happiler
fer maybb jus tat one second.
hahas.
real stupiid thiinkiing of all tiis riite.
realii liike a iidiiot.
even until now,
everytiime ii feel sad,
the fiirst one ii thiink of iishx still euu.
onlii hope to call euu n talk to euu.
always thiinkiing,
iin tiis half year tiimes,
iif there no euu,
ii dunno how ii will bbe liike.
how iim goiin to go thru all the upp n down.
haiis.
ii still feel verii regret,
onlii wen ii had lose euu,
dden ii fiinally realiise,
iit's can actually bbe soo paiin missiing n waiitiing fer a person
sumtiime wen iim alone iin the sleepless niite,
thiinkiing of euu.
ii will still criied.
wen euu askk miie out
ii will realii feel verii happii,
tat kiind of happiiness can last moii smile fer the whole day.
wen euu called,
although everytiime we will always argue,
but ii still feel happii,
coz frm the past till now
we used to always argue arx,
realii liike briingiing miie back to the past.
wen euu msg,
tell miie not to msg or call euu.
ii know euu must bbe meetiing giirl agaiin,
ii realii feel verii down,
verii unhappii.
but realii had no riight to angry wiith euu or saiid aniithiing,
but the jealousy realii make miie out of control
and always liike to tell euu wat
go fiind ur giirl lorrs,
wat soo ever.
all tiis nonsense larrs.
all tiis periiod of tiime,
ii bbeen tryiing verii hard to forget euu,
ii triied not to contact euu soo much,
triied not to talk abt the stuff tat related to euu.
but ii always cant control n called or msg euu,
and always will suddenly talk abt euu.
realii cant forget euu at all,
still love euu much.
manii ppl told miie,
iit's easy to forget a person,
but iit's jus depend on wheather euu wan or not.
perhaps ii realii dubb wiish to forget euu bba.
but ii had nvr forget wat euu had told miie on the day wen euu know ii tog wiith alviin lerrs.
soo ii nvr hold on to anii hope now lerrs.
iif euu realii meet a gud giirl do treasure n treat her gud,
dubb always happii happii dden msg them,
arbo dubb ever ans or replies theiir call n msg larrs.
euu miight seem verii flirt,
miight seem liike not a verii gud bf,
iishx liike those wun care abt gf dde.
but ii know iif euu realii love a person,
euu will actually a verii verii gud bf,
as long as the giirl iishx a gud wan,
reasonable dde n most iimp will giive euu face outsiide,
euu will sure love, care n dote her alot dde.
euu realii a verii gud guy.
bbeen always thiinkiing why last tiime ii was soo stupiid dunno how to treasure euu,
iif not euu will bbe miine now.
hahas.
kiiddiing larrs.
all along iin the past,
euu saiid euu dubb wanna go fiind a new gf coz euu dubb wan to hurt miie.
thanks soo much.
but now dubb niid to care abt moii feeliing lerrs larrs,
go fiind ur's happiiness,
fiind a gud giirl,
iit's truth ii will still get verii hurt,
verii sad iif one day ii heard tat euu got new gf lerrs,
ii miight still cry.
but ii cant let euu stay on the spot fer sumone tat dunno how to treasure euu.
euu have to move on dde.
hahas.
erm. .
seem liike iit's too extra sayiing all tiis.
ii beliieve fer now euu oso not coz of cariing abt moii feeliing dden nvr fiind gf lerrs bba.
hahas.
liike gettiing abiit too bhb.
thiinkiing too much lerrs.
hahas.
but aniiway,
realii hope there sumone could help miie realii take gud care of euu larrs.
hope euu will always stay happii.
iif realii got new gf must let miie know k?
hahas.
dubb worry,
iif realii feel sad,
wanna cry,
oso wun cry iinfront of euu dde.
hahas.
aniiway,
thanks fer lettiing miie c tat euu still weariing the riing,
wen ii went down on sat.
to euu miight meant nothiing.
to miie iit's soo meaniingful.
hahas.
keep iin contact!
take gud care moii cute n lovely darliing.
free dden meet euu out bba.

memoriise was always so beautiful.
all the memoriies wiith both of euu iishx so memorable.
ii will nvr forget tat the both of euu had once cum across moii liife,
brighten upp moii liife,
brought joys n laughter to moii liife
n showered miie wiith loves n cares.

That's When I Y0u

8:17 PM