Monday, April 21, 2008
today xiangho called miie ,
suprised tat he would called after u stopped contact fer several months .
jus normal chat ,
talk to miie alots of thiing iin the past .
but now iit's all jus memoriies ,
now miie n hiim iishx haviing two different life ,
iim so happii wiith alviin now ,
n he seem to enjoy hiis liife beiing siingle now ,
iin facts ii felt iit so meaniingless talkiing all those past now .
the feeliing will nvr bbe back agaiin ,
iim confirm wiith tiis .
iit's riite tat once ii loved hiim verii deeply ,
but now the one ii loved deeply
iishx no longer hiim .
weather iin the past ,
he n wendy diid break upp or not
to miie now iishx alreadii not important at all ,
ii no longer have the urge to know the ans .
what most important to miie now ,
iishx to lead moii liife happily wiith alviin ,
n how to keep tiis relationship long .
today he saiid ,
ii could becoz alviin askk miie dubb work pub dden quit ,
but last time he did saiid ,
ii oso nvr quit .
but ii would realii askk ,
could he did do the same as alviin diid fer miie ,
when the tiime ii still loved hiim ,
alviin could waiited so long fer miie to love hiim ,
n siince we tog till now ,
he loved , doted n protected miie so much .
could he do the same thing oso ?
ii confirm he cant .
ii felt iishx so worth fer miie to love alviin .
fer miie n hiim ,
we could onlii maiintaiin as frenz ,
no matter what iit's wun turned back to the past aniimore .
let iit bbe jus a memoriies .
ii dubb wanted to mention iit agaiin .
now ,
whoever pls jus talk to miie abt moii new life ,
coz iim no longer the same as the past .
That's When I
Y0u
5:28 AM
Thursday, April 10, 2008
after tat day of quarrel ,
we realii live so happily fer tiis few day ,
but today we quarrel agaiin .
jus coz of the game ,
ii didnt say iim angry wiith hiim ,
ii jus say ii dont like her .
jus cox ii scold her bitch ,
n he scolded miie so badly .
fer the first time ,
he scolded miie bitch ,
u know how hurtiing tiis word was to miie
when ii heard tiis .
when ii talk to hiim iin game ,
unexpectedly ,
he askk miie diiam .
ii realii dubb wan anii quarrel ,
ii had nvr thiink before ,
he will coz of a girl iin game n quarrel wiith miie
n scolded miie until like tat .
what had ii done wrong ?
ii realii nvr attitude ,
ii realii tryiin moii best to change lerrs ,
why he still wanted to treat miie tiis way ?
ii realii feel soo hurt soo hurt .
ii so afraid now he would say break again .
ii goiin to break down soon ,
pls dubb treat miie iin tiis way .
frm the start till now ,
ii dubb even know the gal jus 12 yr old ,
until he told miie jus now ,
iif ii had know iit earlier ,
ii wun even bother ,
coz she jus kid .
but ii dubb even know tat
n why iishx iit moii fault agaiin ?
why must he scold miie wiith tiis kiind of hurtiing words !
n he said he wanna go home now ,
ii know iif he had go home ,
he wun cm back agaiin .
n soon he will leave miie ,
he will said break .
ii dubb wan ,
ii realii dubb wan .
can aniione feel the paiin iin moii heart ?
now ii closiing moiiself iin room ,
ii so afraiid tat he wanna pack hiis thiing n go .
ii realii dubb wan to face aniithiing .
ii dunno why ,
ii realii got a feeliing of goiin to die .
plssss . .
dubb treat miie tiis way ,
dubb hurts miie ,
ii realii goiin break down .
ii jus wanna bbe tog wiith hiim happily ,
jus like last few day .
why cant we ?
iim changiing ,
realii changiing .
why still treat miie tiis way ?
iif he realii wanna end tiis relationship
ii rather die .
ii realii dubb wan tiis relationship to end ,
take iit all moii fault ,
ii saiid sry ,
pls dubb say break agaiin ,
pls dubb leave miie alone larrs .
That's When I
Y0u
5:15 AM
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
ever since the quarrel tat day
tat nearly cause tiis relationship gonex to the end ,
our relationship seem to had much more improvement ,
our had nvr quarrel since tat day .
ii found the feeliing tat we used to had iin the first place ,
so sweet n loviing .
ii wiish tiis could continue all the way .
wiith hiim bby moii siide ,
ii jus feel so happii n blessed ,
ii truely hope he feel tiis way too .
no matter what had happened ,
everytiime ,
jus a small kiss n hug frm hiim ,
iit will realii calm moii heart .
wiith hiim around ,
ii knew iim beiing protected ,
beiing loved .
ii realii hope he will always bbe there
to protect n love miie
till we old ,
till we die . . . . .
That's When I
Y0u
2:57 AM
Sunday, April 06, 2008
after all thiing had alreadii gonex back to normal .
but today when ii was workiing ,
whenever ii thiink of thoses hurtiing words ,
moii tears still feel liike droppiing down .
when ii reach home ,
ii dunno why hiis attitude to miie
still so cold .
he seem like doesnt wan to care aniithiing abt miie !
iin moii heart now ,
ii gettiing more n more afraid .
so afraid soon he would say break to miie again .
what should i do now ?
ii realii dunno .
moii heart totally iin a mess ,
so scare ,
so afraid .
ii realii dubb wanna lose hiim ,
dubb wan hiim to bbe out of moii life ,
ii realii feel so hurt when he treat miie tiis cold .
haiis .
think back ,
iishx alreadii verii gud tat he jus treat miie cold ,
but at lease he still bby moii siide .
haiis . . . . . . .
dubb leave miie all alone here ,
dubb jus get out of moii life .
That's When I
Y0u
1:10 AM
Saturday, April 05, 2008
iit's been so long ii had stop blogging .
today ,
moii mood will realii so down .
jus feel like writiing down all moii feeling .
goiin 10 mths with alviin on tiis 27th le .
ii nvr expect he will said break .
iin the previous 9 mths ,
so manii thing ever happened ,
he had nvr say break ,
but today he had said .
on tat moment i jus totally blank ,
ii dubb even know how to react .
moii tears jus blurst out like the tap ,
moii heart realii shattered iinto pieces
n could realii feel the pain .
ii dunno what to do .
totally lost !!!!
once he had ever promised ,
nvr will he said tiis word .
but haiis .
hiis word follow by
realii liike push miie to the bottom .
he said he was sianx of relationship !!
ii could mend back for tiis tiime ,
dden what abt the other tiime ?
iif he gotta say tat word again ,
what should ii do ?
iim so afraid ,
so afraid he would say iit once agaiin .
ii had realii forgotton
how manii hrs ii had cried .
moii head now was jus fking pain
liike iit's goiin to blurst .
iim afraid to fall aslp ,
iim afraid when the next day ii opened moii eyes ,
he iishx alreadii gonex .
ii dunno how to descript how ii feel now .
jus know moii heart iishx paiin liike hell .
suddenly ii recalled another hurtiing words frm hiim jus now ,
sayiing he could bear to leave "her",
he could do the same thiing to miie .
he know ii doesnt like to be compared wiith her ,
but he did iit today ,
whiich iishx the past few mths he doesnt do iit b4 de .
what had happened ?
everythiing goiin so worst .
ii dubb wan iit to bbe tiis way ,
ii wan iit to bbe the relationship tat last till the end .
ii had even thiink of waiitiing hiim out
n tog agaiin .
even he always say wun contact miie iif he out
but what ii will do iishx gotta find him out .
but now can everything still be possible ?
seem liike faded far far frm miie alreadii .
moii tears had dried ,
but moii heart still bleediing so badly .
thiinkiing of the past ,
so hard but so sweet ,
so manii problem but still so loviing ,
finally iit's all peace ,
but the sweetness n loviing iishx no longer here between us .
can we still be like the past ?
ii realii dunno .
iim so afraid beiing lefted over by hiim ,
so afraid he would jus step out of moii life aniitime .
10 mths of love ,
iif one day ,
he realii leave ,
how can ii jus let go so easily ?
how can ii get over all tiis ?
ii gotta bbreak down bby dden !!
all along ,
he jus standiing miie till soo xinku ,
realii so failed iin beiing a gf .
listeniing to bei ji xing de yan lei ,
still rem what he had said ,
iif he not around ,
listen to tiis song n thiink of hiim .
iif one day he realii leave ,
ii thiink ii wun ever listen to tiis song agin .
at tiis moment ,
ii seriiously hate moiiself ,
feeliing so sux .
ii got no mood to continue aniimore .
stop here bba!!!!!
That's When I
Y0u
3:20 AM
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