♥ I L0ve Y0u , Endlessly ♥

Friday, May 30, 2008

27 of may ,
we was out to diit pub to celebrate our birthday .
ii wasnt verii happii siince the moment ii reach home ,
whatever ii askk hiim ,
he was showiing miie hiis attitude ,
but ii keep quiet ,
ii told moiiself ,
must bbe understandiing ,
coz he's too tired n not eluff slp .

can say thru out the whole niite ,
at first iishx still ok .
until ii saw jolin ,
was talkiing to her ,
suddenly her's fone rang ,
n askked miie to talk to her's frenz first
whiich iishx oso customer last time at studio pub .
after tat ,
he saw n he get so angry wiith miie ,
ii dubb wanna quarrel ,
so ii go say sry to hiim ,
but end up iit's get even more worst .

after tat when we at cab we goiin to other place ,
iit's seem peace agaiin ,
when ii reach tat place ,
ii told hiim not to driink too much
iif not lata he vomiit agaiin ,
end upp he reply miie was ,
" ni guan wo "

after tat when ii was outsiide talkiing wiith diit ,
suddenly he msg miie n told miie
he go to ho meng house n askk miie go home moiiself .
ii ran over to chase hiim ,
he saw miie n yet he still went upp the cab ,
ii realii didnt expect ,
he would throw miie alone at one place .
after tat we msg-ing all along ,
he told miie not to act ,
ii nvr expect ,
moii sadness ,
moii tears
n moii heartbroken
to hiim iishx jus actiing ,
iishx jus a way to make all hiis frenz sympathize miie .
he askked miie ,
do ii know how ii treat hiim iin thiis one yr ,
half of hiis feeliing fer miie alreadii faded ,
n he realii wanna break off wiith miie .

when ii was readiing all those msg ,
moii tears dropped down ,
ii cant tell how paiin iit iishx ,
ii cant tell how hurt iit iishx ,
but ii could tell tat moii heart realii broken ,
realii shattered iinto pieces .
ii dunno what to do ,
what ii know was jus criied n criied .
ii begged ho meng to giive miie hiis address ,
but he didnt wan to ,
at tat tiime ii feel so helpless .

ii went down to jalan ho swee ,
searchiing all over to fiind ho meng block ,
ii dunno how long ii walked ,
at tat moment ,
ii realii feel so afraiid ,
ii was at a place iim not familar ,
ii dunno whiich way to go ,
ii jus walk n walk .
especiially when ii started to feel so weak
n ii realii feel ii cant breath .
ii get more n more afraid ,
at tat moment ,
ii was feel like ii faiintiing aniitiime .
fiinally ,
ii found ho meng block ,
n when ii saw hiim ,
iim realii calm down ,
but he jus pass miie the fone
n he went off .
when ii walk upp ii realii fall down ,
but when ii look at hiim ,
he didnt even turned back n take a look at miie .
moii heart was even more pain .

ii realii dubb wan thiis relationshiip to end ,
forget iit ,
ii let go of aniithiing ,
ii let go of moii control to hiim .
as long as he beside miie ,
ii williing to let of everythiing .
even he realii have another gf ,
ii will jus act as dunno n accept iit ,
as long as he tog wiith miie .

ii dubb wanna another break lerrs ,
ii dubb wanna to lost hiim agaiin .

until now ,
ii still cant forget the pain
n the hurts .
ii jus wan to bbe happii tog wiith hiim ,
iishx iit so hard ?
Or perhaps iishx all moii fault ,
ii shouldnt have treat hiim iin thiis way .
he told miie iif realii wan hiim to happii ,
ii should let hiim go.
should ii realii let hiim go ?
ii dunno ,
ii realii dunno .
can ii realii williing to let hiim go ?
ii know ii cant do iit .
iishx he realii so unhappii beiing wiith miie ?
lettiing go iishx iit our's relationship onlii way out ?

why thiing gonex so worst ?
all along ii had been thiinkiing ,
we realii verii tough fer us to get tog ,
thiis relationshiip will bbe verii strong
as we had gonex thru so much tog ,
but how cum thiis relationshiip jus so weak ?

" iif one day ,
we realii break upp ,
will euu ever thiink of miie ?
will euu ever thiink of to mend back ?
will euu ever thiink of the happiiest moment we shared ?
will euu keep miie iinsiide ur heart ?
will euu ever shed a tear jus fer miie ?
ii realii wanna know how important am ii iin ur heart ? "

iif moii leaviing ,
will make u live happier ,
dden jus let miie bear all pain n hurts ...

That's When I Y0u

3:35 AM

Monday, May 26, 2008

心中的恐惧
快把我逼疯。
每当想起你对我说分手的情景
和你当时说过的话，
我的眼泪也只能强忍下来。
以前的我们
有甜也有苦，
但是为什么现在的我们
总是苦多过甜？
我真的希望这段爱情
永远不会有画上句号的一天，
真的有那么难吗？
我好怕，
我真的好怕，
好怕这段爱情就快结束，
好怕我爱的人，
不再爱我，
好怕他又想要把我丢下。
我不想，
真的不想放手，
不想结束。
经过了那么多的事，
我已经不再像以前那么的坚强。
现在害怕被伤害，
害怕被欺骗。

我的笑容背后的悲伤与眼泪，
有谁真的了解？
他是我唯一能让我觉得
快乐与幸福的人，
请不要把他从我身边带走。
如果失去了他，
我也失去了我的快乐与幸福。

That's When I Y0u

2:54 AM

erm ,
what word should ii use to descript moii life recently ?
erm ,
can saiid tat iim happii
but wiith some worriies
n sadness .
recently ,
at tiimes ii felt he loved miie so deeply
n doted miie so much ,
but at tiimes ii felt hiis love fer miie
seem liike faded alots .
n at tiimes he would suddenly throw hiis temper on miie
when ii didnt even diid aniithiing wrong .
at tiimes ii felt so happii n blessed,
at tiimes ii felt so sad n worry .
iim afraiid tat soon
hiis love fer miie will faded totally .
iim afraiid he would say break once agaiin soon .
ii realii hope nvr agaiin he would say thiis word ,
the last tiime tat he saiid thiis word ,
ii almost goiin to break down ,
almost gonex crazy .
ii couldnt take iit one more tiime .
hope iit's realii wont happen agaiin .

secondly ,
ii realii feel sry fer moii suspect toward hiim .
ii triied not to bbe so sensative ,
ii triied not to check hiis fone ,
but ii realii failed to do so .
all along ,
iim some one tat verii sensative ,
small little actiion ii will get suspect ,
n will thiink lots .
since ii had met the 3 guys iin the past ,
ii get even more sensatiive .
first xiiaoboii ,
beiing wiith hiim fer 2 yrs ,
iit's truth tat he didnt betray miie before ,
but behide moii back ,
he was msg-ing wiith lots of giirl ,
when he iishx back to moii house,
he would deleted all the msgs ,
onlii until ii checked hiis call log ,
dden ii would get to know .
secondly iishx eddy ,
beiing tog wiith hiim 5~6 mths ,
behide moii back ,
how manii tiimes he had betrayed miie ?
not jus 1~2 tiimes ,
but iishx 4 tiimes .
fiirst jerica ,
the first day we tog ,
he could still use candle
to make a heart shape&i love u word fer miie ,
n still huggiing miie telliing miie tat
he's serious wiith miie .
the sec day ,
he's end upp meetiing jerica wiith jef behide moii back .
third day ,
early iin the morniing he alreadii wiith jerica ,
went fer their breakfast .
dden eveniing telliing miie break .
until the day we patch ,
he told miie ,
he will nvr leave miie agaiin
n lots of other rubbish ,
but end upp ,
first wiith hong yiin ,
doiin so manii thiing behiide moii back ,
love bite ,
f~f . . .
second ,
suzanna ,
dden eileen .
after tat xiangho ,
8 mths dunno bluff miie damn lots of shiit ,
until now ii still dunno
what he saiid iishx truth
& what he saiid iishx lie .

iim not tryiing to compare hiim wiith them ,
jus tat after beiing cheated so manii tiimes ,
ii becum more sensatiive dden before ,
coz ii realii afraiid beiing cheated ,
beiing hurt once agaiin .
iit's was realii so paiin ,
knowiing ur loved one had been cheatiing u all along .

ii realii hope he could understand moii feeliing .
after been thru so manii thiing ,
beiing cheated so manii tiimes ,
iim not as strong as the past .
although ii always seem to bbe so crazy ,
so happii ,
but behiide all those smiles
iishx jus sadness .

ii realii realii wouldnt wan to triied out
anii new relatiionshiip agaiin ,
ii realii jus wan to bbe wiith hiim all the way .

Pls ,
I hope this relationshiip will last 4ever .
Pls ,
Make hiim come back to miie after his case settled .
Pls ,
Dubb let miie liive wiithout
alviin chua .

That's When I Y0u

2:02 AM